FR: Albany Trip (Part I)

Aye. I don’t usually write field reports, but I feel like it today. Actually, lets look at this as a field report in progress/choose your own adventure because it’s on going as you’ll see. Anyway, to give you some background: Theory, Prada, and myself went up to Albany for the weekend. While I won’t include the adventures of Prada and Theory (they can post them if they want), I’ll tell you about my return to glory and ultimate blunder that probably cost me a f-close and a potential future with a quality HB10. But let’s begin at the beginning…

Friday: Prada and I arrive in Albany and meet with my friend, Dan the Man (DTM). After slamming a few beers and relating some stories, DTM takes us to a chill, college-type bar (big place, pool table, etc.). Immediately, I approach the hottest two set in the bar. When I get close, I notice only one chick is really hot and, while I had her laughing, the somewhat chubby and annoying friend completely IOD’d me with dismissive body language and grunts for answers. I eject and walk back to DTM and Prada. While Prada knows it was a bad set, DTM’s jaw is hanging in surprise as he was in complete shock that I could “just walk up to a girl and start talking like that.” I started laughing and told him to buckle up. Next a quality 4-set (at least two HB8s and no one ugly than a 6) strut in and sit at a table in the corner. I approach and run the set well. I get all the girls hitting me and fighting for my attention. I ended up ejecting because I got no help from my wings, but this could’ve been solid if there had there been more wings or if I cared enough to isolate a girl from the set. Also, DTM wanted to take us to another bar.

At the next bar, DTM tries an approach, telling a 3-set I’m his little brother. After some skeptical looks from the girls, I come over and start running the set. Having had a good warm up, I completely dominate the frame. I won’t go into all the details, but the highlight of this set is HB7 grabbing my crotch claiming she had to “give me a checkup”. After we leave this bar, we go to another bar where I really gamed up a decent 2-set, lock in, and get the girls to beg to hang out with us, buy me dinner, and just generally go crazy. DTM was in absolute shock at this point, and my reputation as “gamer” was solidified, setting us up for Saturday, which is where this FR begins.

Saturday: So DTM lives in a house with two HBs, both quality. One of the HBs (an HB8) had a pretty hilarious AFC story where some guy bought her 45 shots (all at once). The other HB (HB9) was a girl I know was attracted to me in college, but I was too AFC to close and ended up LJBF. So, when the evening rolls around, DTM informs us he’s invited his friend who’s a big wanna-be PUA. Apparently he’s read a lot of the PUA literature and, after DTM told him of our fabled abilities, the kid begged to come out. So our sarge crew for the night is me, Prada, Theory, DTM, PUA Wanna be, HB LJBF, and HB 45 Shots. I’m thinking: pivots, social proof…all the ingredients for a good night.

Now, I don’t want to go into detail about the WHOLE night, other than to say it was mediocre. We ran some good sets, we got blown out a few times. The pivots wandered off. There were a lot of “PUA”s in the bars in the Albany (curiously more than I’ve seen in NYC). Anyway, here’s where this FR begins (which I will now write in the third person…because that’s funny).

(2 a.m. The Judge and Prada are sitting at a table in a HUGE venue when The Judge gets a text message from DTM: “Redic set on the dance floor. Hottest girl in the bar just walked in”)

The Judge: (Stands) Time to move (rises from the table and walks across the club like Terminator honing in on a target)

The Judge: (Approaching DTM) Where are they?

DTM: Right there, I got to see this! (PUA Wanna be starts asking a question about what to do in this situation but The Judge cuts him off with a dismissive hand wave, walking over to the 2-set who are leaning against a wall)

(As The Judge closes in, The Backstreet Boys “That Way” starts booming)

HB Blondie 8: OMG!!!! I LOVE THIS SONG

The Judge: (In mock girl voice) OMG!!! I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE THIS SONG

HB Blonde 8 and HB 10 Frenchie look at The Judge quizzically

The Judge: You know what they should play. This new song by this band called Ace of Base. (Points to HB 10 Frenchie) You DO know what I’m talking about, DON’T you..?

HB 10 Frenchie: Wait..like…I Saw the…

The Judge: Sign. YEAHHHHHH, this chick’s seen the sign. Nice, pound dude. (Pounds HB 10 Frenchie then pulls her little hat down.) What the hell is this? You French or something…?

HB 10 Frenchie: Ahhhh nooo

The Judge: Parlez-vous français???

HB 10 Frenchie: Uhhhh noo…?

The Judge: Oh my God, you suck. I’m leaving. (False take away) Okay, wait. Let me guess your names. Frenchie over here, you look like a Madoline. And you…you’re giving me a Teresa vibe…

Both HBs: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The Judge: (Shocked)

Both HBs: AHHHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHHHH HER NAME’S TERESA!!! HOW’D YOU KNOW?? HOW’D YOU KNOW????

The Judge: (Locking in) Pfft. I’m a mind reader, no big deal. (Points to HB 10 Frenchie) I’m reading your thoughts right now. Ew, you’re a perv, stop thinking that. Gross. Anyway, I gotta get back to my friends in a second, but lemme guess. You guys are SUNY students…?

Both HBs: AHHHH, SERIOUSLY HAVE WE MET YOU??? HOW DID YOU KNOW HER NAME???

The Judge: Stop it, you’re freaking me out. Seriously are you guys SUNY people? Because if you are, I’m leaving…

HBs: (Start talking about where they went to school, The Judge cuts them off.)

The Judge: Okay, that’s enough. How old are you?

HB 10 Frenchie: I’m 22.

The Judge: Awwwwwww, you’re just a little baby. You can be my little sister. K? We’re going to Disney World. I’ll buy you a stupid Chero…

HB 10 Frenchie: Ahhh noooo. I don’t want to be your little sister!!! Wait, how old are you???

The Judge: Guess.

Both HBs: (Start screaming ages at The Judge.)

The Judge: 27? No lower. No, not 26, not 25. Yes, I’m 24.

HB 10 Frenchie: SEE I’m only 2 years younger than you! Come on lets dance.

HB 8 Blondie: Yeah! Let’s dance! (Both HBs start dancing around The Judge as he walks away.)

The Judge: No. Let’s meet my friend. He’s this way. (Starts walking off, looks over his shoulder as girls do a quick girl code then run and follow him)

Shit, I gotta pack up to go home so to be continued. In the next segment, you’ll see these girls turn into complete nymphos, the ultimate PUA betrayal, and The Judge making a HUGE in-field mistake. Stay tuned…