Hey guys,
So I have been experiencing a problem lately. I am writing this after a hard night of sarging. I have been going out and opening sets. I have even been able to build attraction in these sets. However, I am having 2 problems. First, I am opening, everything seems to be going well then I am having trouble transitioning to the comfort phase. Also, if I do make it to the comfort phase it seems like everything just flops. I manage to get attraction, sometimes leading to comfort but once I get there I manage to get stuck in LJBF mode. WTF! I would really like some advice on how to effectively and efficiently move to comfort. And once I get there how do I get past that and move on to the seduction phase. I am driving myself NUTS trying to get past this sticking point. Is it just a matter of "pulling the trigger" or what? It sucks when you seem like you have been running a good set(s) all night then end up home alone at the end of it all.
Any advice you guys might be able to offer would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for all of your help so far. It has helped exponentially. But remember "Any road worth walking is almost never the easy one."
Thanks,
Xknowledge
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Quick Updates
Hey guys.
Haven't been updating much lately, but no worries. That's gonna change soon.
Been having crazy adventures in NYC with Ga'ash and crew. I could write a detailed FR for every night we go out now...
Anyway, lately I've been pushing myself to up everything about my game. I've been hitting the gym twice a day, reading more, studying literature, and trying to get out of my comfort zone. Again, I'll post about all this in detail later. (I have a super busy day at work)
Affection just asked me to work as an instructor for Project Manhattan, which will be awesome in transforming my game. Teaching guys this stuff in the field will be rewarding and challenging. But I still need to seriously up my game in the process...
Anyway, here's what I'm trying to do:
1.) I figured out how to upload audio files (I think) so I'm going to start by uploading simple files of me telling "in field" stories I use all the time. Hopefully the delivery and the way I explain them will make them clear and easy for you guys to digest (and use).
2.) I'm going to start posting more specific FRs and emails I have floating around. Even though I originally viewed email game as beta, I think it has A LOT of potential, esp for chicks that seem flaky. It's a great way to build up a connection that'll reduce flake rate. I have a nice correspondence that I think demonstrates all the basics of email game. I'll try to post that sometime next week.
3.) I'm looking into purchasing a mic and micing some day game approaches so you guys can actually hear me in-field. By actually hearing the routines, you guys will understand exactly how the delivery is supposed to sound, etc.
4.) I might start a public blog where I post general advice, etc. Essentially, this'll be similar to how I post in the VA forums, not posting ANY specific situations, only general advice. I'll continue to post specific FRs and audio clips on here only. This means I'm also closing off the blog to new people. I just let a few final people in and I think that's it now.
5.) Post lectures? Could be cool...
6.) Harass Ga'ash to post some FRs haha
Pax.
~TJ
Haven't been updating much lately, but no worries. That's gonna change soon.
Been having crazy adventures in NYC with Ga'ash and crew. I could write a detailed FR for every night we go out now...
Anyway, lately I've been pushing myself to up everything about my game. I've been hitting the gym twice a day, reading more, studying literature, and trying to get out of my comfort zone. Again, I'll post about all this in detail later. (I have a super busy day at work)
Affection just asked me to work as an instructor for Project Manhattan, which will be awesome in transforming my game. Teaching guys this stuff in the field will be rewarding and challenging. But I still need to seriously up my game in the process...
Anyway, here's what I'm trying to do:
1.) I figured out how to upload audio files (I think) so I'm going to start by uploading simple files of me telling "in field" stories I use all the time. Hopefully the delivery and the way I explain them will make them clear and easy for you guys to digest (and use).
2.) I'm going to start posting more specific FRs and emails I have floating around. Even though I originally viewed email game as beta, I think it has A LOT of potential, esp for chicks that seem flaky. It's a great way to build up a connection that'll reduce flake rate. I have a nice correspondence that I think demonstrates all the basics of email game. I'll try to post that sometime next week.
3.) I'm looking into purchasing a mic and micing some day game approaches so you guys can actually hear me in-field. By actually hearing the routines, you guys will understand exactly how the delivery is supposed to sound, etc.
4.) I might start a public blog where I post general advice, etc. Essentially, this'll be similar to how I post in the VA forums, not posting ANY specific situations, only general advice. I'll continue to post specific FRs and audio clips on here only. This means I'm also closing off the blog to new people. I just let a few final people in and I think that's it now.
5.) Post lectures? Could be cool...
6.) Harass Ga'ash to post some FRs haha
Pax.
~TJ
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Bears
I thought I might share! If you guys want to check out the bears.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=t4YVnDGCFZA
My brother is the scraggly guy in the red coat. I swear he's gonna be a regular Grizzly Adams.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=t4YVnDGCFZA
My brother is the scraggly guy in the red coat. I swear he's gonna be a regular Grizzly Adams.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
St. Patty's Day FR
Hello, once again. I would like to share some things that I realized last night. I know that to some of you these might already be a processed realization. However, in my quest to be the best I am still on first, stealing second.
So my night started off just like any other. I went out with a friend, Wee Man, to the local karaoke bar where I like to start out my night. Being St. Pats I figured the place would be crawling with HB's. This was not the case. After polishing off our pitcher we left to go pick up my buddy, Lost, due to it being his birthday. We then went to another place known for being loaded with HB's, called The Crown. Here is where this FR really starts. (I am finally beginning to conquer my AI. It has been tough, but everything after opening seems to go well. I am starting to wonder why I have any AI in the first place.) Walking into The Crown, myself and Lost peacocked to the max. We figured since it was St. Patty's we really needed to step it up. I was wearing a sparkly green leprechaun hat, a green lei that has blinking lights built in to it, and and some Mardi Gras style green beaded necklaces. Lost, had his jester hat, and all sorts of green necklaces and other green paraphenalia. Low and behold we were one of just a few people in there that had something green other than a t-shirt, shoes, or whatever.
We started opening sets, and just generally partying with everyone on our side of the bar. It seemed that the more people we talked to the easier it was to get others opened and get past the HP. At some point throughout the night, there were 2 HB's walking through the bar that I had met on a previous night. We will call them HB9 Cheese , and HB7 Sauce, due to their self imposed nicknames. Lost, looks over at me and says, "Hey! Look at them, we need to get their beads." (We were on a mission to trade for the best gear in the place.) I told him, that I already knew them and that we should go talk to them. So turned and headed directly for a set that was on the path that they were headed. I was thinking, wasn't he just talking about Cheese, and Sauce. So as they walk past, he gets them involved in the conversation with the other set. They hooked like starving trout. The next thing I know, he's telling them " Hey you guys really need to meet my buddy, Alan." Both at the same time look over at me and go "ALAN! We thought we might never see you again." Then came running up and each gave me a huge hug. (Personally, I thought that I had completely bombed this set the first night that I met them.) We talked for a while, with Lost pulling some great wing action. (Note that Lost has a GF and mostly just helps me with my game when we go out. He is a natural, but understands most of the concepts behind PU.) I must also give credit to TJ for his article on humor, and was able to apply some of that in my sets. So, after a few minutes in set Cheese and Sauce decide that they want to have their picture taken with me. By the end of the night, I had Cheese cuddling up to me outside the bar because she was "cold." And I was able to myspace close both of them. And am currently trying to get HB Cheese out to my brothers house for a a Day 2 of playing with 2 mo. old bear cubs.
I also just noticed that I had already lost my leprechaun hat by this point. It made its way onto the head of another girl sometime during the night.
My realizations from last night were:
It is just as easy to open and run sets of HB7,8,9's as it is 5's & 6's (This was a big one for me, because I have always had the "their out of my league" mindset for 8's, 9's, & 10's)
Having a great wing is critical to a learning curve.
and last but certainly NOT least
Even if think that you have completely f**ed up a set, if you see them again, try again and you may find that such was not the case.
Some chick crack that I have found:
Talking about the book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne (If you haven't read it yet, read it!!)
My brother is the head animal manager at a drive through bear park, and hand raises and bottle feeds the bear cubs in the spring. Girls love that shit, even if they don't actually get to see the bears they love to hear about it.
Questions:
What are some good responses to being called gay?
What are some good techniques to lead into kissing? I have a problem feeling like its "the right time." And should I lead to somewhere away from her friends or just go for it in front of them?
Also, I went onto Cheese's myspace profile and found 1 pic of me from the 1st night that I met them, and already 3 from last night on there. I am the only guy with pic of just me and her from last night, and also from the 1st night my pic is on there with my name and is next to a pic labeled "This guy just wanted his picture taken with us." I never asked to have my picture taken, and it was very surprising to me to see 4 pics of me on her page. What are your opinions of this? Or does it really not mean anything?
I would love to hear feedback, and opinions. I am still feeling pretty "green" when it comes to PU. I will get better at organizing my thoughts into better FR's, please bear with me.
Thanks,
Knowledge
So my night started off just like any other. I went out with a friend, Wee Man, to the local karaoke bar where I like to start out my night. Being St. Pats I figured the place would be crawling with HB's. This was not the case. After polishing off our pitcher we left to go pick up my buddy, Lost, due to it being his birthday. We then went to another place known for being loaded with HB's, called The Crown. Here is where this FR really starts. (I am finally beginning to conquer my AI. It has been tough, but everything after opening seems to go well. I am starting to wonder why I have any AI in the first place.) Walking into The Crown, myself and Lost peacocked to the max. We figured since it was St. Patty's we really needed to step it up. I was wearing a sparkly green leprechaun hat, a green lei that has blinking lights built in to it, and and some Mardi Gras style green beaded necklaces. Lost, had his jester hat, and all sorts of green necklaces and other green paraphenalia. Low and behold we were one of just a few people in there that had something green other than a t-shirt, shoes, or whatever.
We started opening sets, and just generally partying with everyone on our side of the bar. It seemed that the more people we talked to the easier it was to get others opened and get past the HP. At some point throughout the night, there were 2 HB's walking through the bar that I had met on a previous night. We will call them HB9 Cheese , and HB7 Sauce, due to their self imposed nicknames. Lost, looks over at me and says, "Hey! Look at them, we need to get their beads." (We were on a mission to trade for the best gear in the place.) I told him, that I already knew them and that we should go talk to them. So turned and headed directly for a set that was on the path that they were headed. I was thinking, wasn't he just talking about Cheese, and Sauce. So as they walk past, he gets them involved in the conversation with the other set. They hooked like starving trout. The next thing I know, he's telling them " Hey you guys really need to meet my buddy, Alan." Both at the same time look over at me and go "ALAN! We thought we might never see you again." Then came running up and each gave me a huge hug. (Personally, I thought that I had completely bombed this set the first night that I met them.) We talked for a while, with Lost pulling some great wing action. (Note that Lost has a GF and mostly just helps me with my game when we go out. He is a natural, but understands most of the concepts behind PU.) I must also give credit to TJ for his article on humor, and was able to apply some of that in my sets. So, after a few minutes in set Cheese and Sauce decide that they want to have their picture taken with me. By the end of the night, I had Cheese cuddling up to me outside the bar because she was "cold." And I was able to myspace close both of them. And am currently trying to get HB Cheese out to my brothers house for a a Day 2 of playing with 2 mo. old bear cubs.
I also just noticed that I had already lost my leprechaun hat by this point. It made its way onto the head of another girl sometime during the night.My realizations from last night were:
It is just as easy to open and run sets of HB7,8,9's as it is 5's & 6's (This was a big one for me, because I have always had the "their out of my league" mindset for 8's, 9's, & 10's)
Having a great wing is critical to a learning curve.
and last but certainly NOT least
Even if think that you have completely f**ed up a set, if you see them again, try again and you may find that such was not the case.
Some chick crack that I have found:
Talking about the book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne (If you haven't read it yet, read it!!)
My brother is the head animal manager at a drive through bear park, and hand raises and bottle feeds the bear cubs in the spring. Girls love that shit, even if they don't actually get to see the bears they love to hear about it.
Questions:
What are some good responses to being called gay?
What are some good techniques to lead into kissing? I have a problem feeling like its "the right time." And should I lead to somewhere away from her friends or just go for it in front of them?
Also, I went onto Cheese's myspace profile and found 1 pic of me from the 1st night that I met them, and already 3 from last night on there. I am the only guy with pic of just me and her from last night, and also from the 1st night my pic is on there with my name and is next to a pic labeled "This guy just wanted his picture taken with us." I never asked to have my picture taken, and it was very surprising to me to see 4 pics of me on her page. What are your opinions of this? Or does it really not mean anything?
I would love to hear feedback, and opinions. I am still feeling pretty "green" when it comes to PU. I will get better at organizing my thoughts into better FR's, please bear with me.
Thanks,
Knowledge
Sunday, March 16, 2008
On Being Funny
A couple people have been asking me to define this, so I’m going to give a lengthy response that hopefully covers the “basics” of humor. (Side note: I wrote for a very famous humor website before I got into PUA but never thought “humor” was explainable…until I saw something as abstract as “attraction” was explainable. So, in homage to the pioneers of PUA, I’ll offer what I can on “being funny”.
First, humor is the most effective, fastest, and simplest way to offer value and establish prizability. Ironically, it’s also (in my opinion) the most Machiavellian social device ever (in fact, it’s SO Machiavellian people DON’T even consider it manipulative). If someone is genuinely laughing at your jokes, there’s no way you’ll get blown out – ever.
So, the structure of this response will follow an inverted pyramid, beginning with the “humorous” inner game-type-stuff and then drilling down into the specifics of humorous banter.
Frame – In my opinion, the funniest person alive is Howard Stern. But it’s not his content or jokes that make him funny (in fact, reading transcripts from the Howard Stern show are very NOT funny), but, instead, it’s his delivery and attitude. The thing about Howard is he just says whatever the fuck he feels like and never waits for a response. Sometimes you DON’T even know if he’s joking or not. Even if his jokes bomb, he doesn’t react. He simply says the next thing on his mind.
Conversely, look at people who are NOT funny. They’re the ones who are constantly waiting for reactions or saying shit like, “I guess you had to be there…” Probably the worst thing you can ever say to someone is, “I have the BEST joke for you.” Chances are, no matter how funny the joke, it won’t get any big laughs. Why? Because the joke teller made it obvious HE thought the joke was hysterical, thus telegraphing his need for a reaction.
Try this exercise: Tell the same joke to two people. But to the first person, say, “I have the FUNNIEST joke for you!” and to the second person, say, “I heard this offensive joke the other day. I really don’t find it funny. I’ll tell you, but don’t laugh because it’s really not a funny topic.” I guarantee the second person will stifle a genuine laugh (because he doesn’t think you’re looking for a reaction) whereas the first person will only give you a courtesy laugh. (Unless of course the joke you’re telling really sucks.)
How this relates to the field: When telling a joke, DON’T wait for a reaction. Simply say the funny line and stack or do a takeaway, For example, over the weekend, my wing was getting blown out off the opener. As I walked by the hostile set, I said over my shoulder, “You could’ve been a little nicer to him. He just got molested by a FAT girl.” The girls started cracking up and the set was back on. Is that line really so hysterical? NO! But I said it in a way that implied I wasn’t looking for a reaction. I know this is basic stuff and relates to frame control (living in your own reality), but it’s why so many guys fail at being funny. If I simply wrote up a transcript of “funny lines” I KNOW I’d have tons of guys who would go into the field, use the lines, then complain to me that the lines “aren’t funny” because they telegraphed they were looking for reactions so the lines would bomb. THIS IS WHY KNOCK KNOCK JOKES ARE RETARDED AND DEAD BABY JOKES ARE HILARIOUS!* With “knock knock” jokes, you’re telegraphing “Hey! This is a joke!” whereas with a “dead baby” joke, it’s so fucked up you’re NOT supposed to laugh (so you do).
*Disclaimer: In some instances “Knock Knock” jokes can be funny as in the case of: “Knock knock. Who’s there? Fat chicks. Fat chicks who? Who cares?! They’re fat!” (because jokes about fat chicks are ALWAYS funny...it's a Universal Law of the Universe) and dead baby jokes ARE NOT funny anymore because they’re so played out, they lost their taboo and now ARE reaction-seeking.
Attitude(s) – Once you adapt a non-reaction-seeking frame, you’re ready to try on “funny attitudes”. Unlike the underlining frame, which will ALWAYS be non-reaction seeking, your attitude can change in different situations. As a basic rule, the best attitude to accept is one diametrically opposed to the one expected. So, again, to cite an example from this weekend, some drunk hooligan/thug (complete tool) started screaming at 2 of my girl friends (for pretty much no reason) and then started screaming at me that I’m only hanging out with them to “get my D wet” and that I’m “a gay ass pussy”. Because the guy was so irate and barking such uneducated babble, the “humorous” attitude to take was for me to speak like an erudite college professor. So I looked the guy in the eye, smiled, and said, “Wow. You’re like a Greek philosopher! You totally broke down my secret game plan with that artfully constructed syllogism! That’s like Aristotelian logic, bro. To cite you, since I am, in fact, one ‘gay ass pussy’ therefore I am logically trying to get ‘my D wet’ with these – what was your term again? – ‘skank-ass bitches’. Bravo, Plato! You, my friend, are a scholar AND a gentleman.”
While this could fall under 'sarcasm', I think “attitude” is more than simply being ironic or flippant. To offer some examples, if a girl keeps calling you a “playa”, it’s funny to accept a “Don Juan lover” attitude where you tell her you write love sonnets and chisel ice sculptors of women you fall in love with. If you and your wings are obviously established, clean-cut guys, it’s funny to say you “met in prison” when HBs ask how you know each other. If an AMOG is screaming how much he hates your peacocking, saying “Glad you like it” in the most disinterested way will ALWAYS get a laugh because it’s so unexpected. (I could keep posting examples, but think it’s better if you consider attitudes you could assume in different situations you find yourself in so it’s more congruent.)
Content – Even with a solid frame and the right attitude, you still need “funny” content. I could devote an entire post to content (and maybe I will) because it’s probably the most difficult aspect of humor to master. However, sticking to a few guidelines will ensure you get big laughs.
1.) Pop culture references – This is probably the most important one to internalize and will instantly transform your humor. Whenever you’re telling a story, figure out how to make a funny pop culture reference or metaphor and you’ll ALWAYS get a laugh. I’ve posted on this before and am currently FTing a whole theory on this (it’s goes beyond just humor), so I don’t want to spend too much time talking about it here. But just to give a stupid example: I was just talking to my friend on the phone and explaining to him how I got black out drunk a few days ago and woke up covered in my own vomit and somehow climbed into my loft bed without setting up the ladder. (I know…this is funny/embarrassing as is…) So here’s how I described it for maximum effect: (Taking the attitude waking up like this when you’re 25 years old is a great life accomplishment and I’m totally proud of myself): “Dude, this black out trumps all previous career drunken black outs. Specifically, I guess drinking an absurd amount of vodka now turns me into Spiderman because I somehow used my Spidey senses to climb into my loft bed without using the ladder…but it gets even better…so my last conscious memory was getting into a cab and then I completely blacked out…but, when I woke up, it was so freaky because I was covered in my own vomit with no ladder to get down from my bed…dude, this shit felt like a scene from SAW…I swear, I thought I was gonna fucking die…I was waiting for that scary little clown to pop out of my kitchen riding that freaky little tricycle and say, “HELLO JUDGE, WANT TO PLAY A GAME??? (In scary voice) Figuring out how to get down from that bed made me realize how much I value life…the Eggo waffles I ate after I got down tasted different somehow. I feel like I have a new lease on life…”
2.) Be specific – More detail ALWAYS means more humor. Whatever detail you can add – whether it be the color of something, the way something looked, the brand name of something, WHATEVER – the harder people will laugh. (This sort of ties into the pop culture references since making a pop culture reference DOES specify and detail your story/joke). I could cite endless examples here, but leave it up to you to figure this out. However, just to use my “black out disaster” example, look at how much less funny this would’ve been had I just told the story without the specifics: “Dude, this black out trumps all previous career drunken black outs. Specifically, I somehow climbed into my loft bed without using the ladder…but it gets even better…so my last conscious memory was getting into a cab and then I completely blacked out…but, when I woke up, it was so freaky because I was covered in my own vomit with no ladder to get down from my bed… I swear, I thought I was gonna fucking die…Figuring out how to get down from that bed made me realize how much I value life…the breakfast I ate after I got down tasted different somehow. I feel like I have a new lease on life…”
3.) Blowing things out proportion – Taking something that’s frivolous and making a big deal out of it with a story and/or a huge extended metaphor is funny. Again, my aforementioned example of waking up from a black out and getting a new lease on life demonstrates this (oh, just in case you couldn’t figure out the sarcasm, my bed is only like 9 feet off the floor so it’s not like there was any real danger). But you can apply this concept at ANY point in the pickup and it’ll amplify whatever you’re doing. For example, if I call a girl a “flaya” (a female playa) because she said something I ‘misinterpreted’ as a flaya comment, that might get a chuckle or a quick, “Nooooooo”. But I’ll get a huge BT spike if I go, “Shit, this chick is such a flaya. I’ll bet you’re like Lil Kim, you have a bunch of manslaves that dance around you in your rap videos and shit. Oh man, I’ll bet you make guys cry all the time. I know your type – You’re one of those honeys getting money playing fellas like dummies…”
(For those of you who caught that, my next point…)
4.) Quoting song lyrics in serious conversation – Always awesome. (Again, relates to the “pop culture” reference.) If you do this with the right delivery, you can get away with ANYTHING. Like, if a girl is getting mad at you, say, “Here’s the thing. We started out friends. Yeah, I mean, it was cool but it was ALL pretend.” Also, another great one (to quote again from my last example) is, if a girl calls you out on using a pickup line, say, “Pick up line!? No way, if I was trying to pick you up I’d ask what your interests are, who you be with? Let’s see…what else…Things to make you smile, what numbers to dial…”
(And her response beings me to my next point…)
5.) Making absurdly wrong assumptions – Never give a straight/honest answer (at least not in the A phases). So, if you use one of my examples mentioned in the last example, and the girls goes, “OMG!!! Are you quoting Kelly Clarkson?!?!?!” You say, “What? No. That’s Shakespeare. God, didn’t you read Much Ado About Nothing?! Do you have any culture?” This also works great for girls with accents. If a girl has a strong Eastern European accent (which I love “btw”), I always say, “Oh wow. Love your accent. Lemme guess, you’re from China.”
Wording – Finally, the way you word things will enhance your humor and eek out all the potential from your frame/attitude/content. Incorporating funny words/phrases is simple. Aside from listening for funny words in every day situations (i.e. floozy, abomination, atrocity), I also write down any phrase I think is humorous. This is why reading books like "Sex, Drugs, and Cocopuffs" is great. Finding people who understand humor will seriously up your game and no one will ever know you're stealing phrases from them. Using over-the-top wording is always funny. So, if a girl says something stupid, rather than telling her, "What?!" say something like, "That was profoundly retarded" or "That was a complete atrocity." Again, I could list off plenty of "funny" words or phrases, but I'm confident you guys can build up your own "funny vernacular."
Conclusion - This is tip-of-the-iceberg stuff but it's enough to get you started and get you laughs. If you don't know how to vibe and be funny, you'll never get laid (sorry!). But, don't worry: humor and "funniness" can be learned so GOOD LUCK!
First, humor is the most effective, fastest, and simplest way to offer value and establish prizability. Ironically, it’s also (in my opinion) the most Machiavellian social device ever (in fact, it’s SO Machiavellian people DON’T even consider it manipulative). If someone is genuinely laughing at your jokes, there’s no way you’ll get blown out – ever.
So, the structure of this response will follow an inverted pyramid, beginning with the “humorous” inner game-type-stuff and then drilling down into the specifics of humorous banter.
Frame – In my opinion, the funniest person alive is Howard Stern. But it’s not his content or jokes that make him funny (in fact, reading transcripts from the Howard Stern show are very NOT funny), but, instead, it’s his delivery and attitude. The thing about Howard is he just says whatever the fuck he feels like and never waits for a response. Sometimes you DON’T even know if he’s joking or not. Even if his jokes bomb, he doesn’t react. He simply says the next thing on his mind.
Conversely, look at people who are NOT funny. They’re the ones who are constantly waiting for reactions or saying shit like, “I guess you had to be there…” Probably the worst thing you can ever say to someone is, “I have the BEST joke for you.” Chances are, no matter how funny the joke, it won’t get any big laughs. Why? Because the joke teller made it obvious HE thought the joke was hysterical, thus telegraphing his need for a reaction.
Try this exercise: Tell the same joke to two people. But to the first person, say, “I have the FUNNIEST joke for you!” and to the second person, say, “I heard this offensive joke the other day. I really don’t find it funny. I’ll tell you, but don’t laugh because it’s really not a funny topic.” I guarantee the second person will stifle a genuine laugh (because he doesn’t think you’re looking for a reaction) whereas the first person will only give you a courtesy laugh. (Unless of course the joke you’re telling really sucks.)
How this relates to the field: When telling a joke, DON’T wait for a reaction. Simply say the funny line and stack or do a takeaway, For example, over the weekend, my wing was getting blown out off the opener. As I walked by the hostile set, I said over my shoulder, “You could’ve been a little nicer to him. He just got molested by a FAT girl.” The girls started cracking up and the set was back on. Is that line really so hysterical? NO! But I said it in a way that implied I wasn’t looking for a reaction. I know this is basic stuff and relates to frame control (living in your own reality), but it’s why so many guys fail at being funny. If I simply wrote up a transcript of “funny lines” I KNOW I’d have tons of guys who would go into the field, use the lines, then complain to me that the lines “aren’t funny” because they telegraphed they were looking for reactions so the lines would bomb. THIS IS WHY KNOCK KNOCK JOKES ARE RETARDED AND DEAD BABY JOKES ARE HILARIOUS!* With “knock knock” jokes, you’re telegraphing “Hey! This is a joke!” whereas with a “dead baby” joke, it’s so fucked up you’re NOT supposed to laugh (so you do).
*Disclaimer: In some instances “Knock Knock” jokes can be funny as in the case of: “Knock knock. Who’s there? Fat chicks. Fat chicks who? Who cares?! They’re fat!” (because jokes about fat chicks are ALWAYS funny...it's a Universal Law of the Universe) and dead baby jokes ARE NOT funny anymore because they’re so played out, they lost their taboo and now ARE reaction-seeking.
Attitude(s) – Once you adapt a non-reaction-seeking frame, you’re ready to try on “funny attitudes”. Unlike the underlining frame, which will ALWAYS be non-reaction seeking, your attitude can change in different situations. As a basic rule, the best attitude to accept is one diametrically opposed to the one expected. So, again, to cite an example from this weekend, some drunk hooligan/thug (complete tool) started screaming at 2 of my girl friends (for pretty much no reason) and then started screaming at me that I’m only hanging out with them to “get my D wet” and that I’m “a gay ass pussy”. Because the guy was so irate and barking such uneducated babble, the “humorous” attitude to take was for me to speak like an erudite college professor. So I looked the guy in the eye, smiled, and said, “Wow. You’re like a Greek philosopher! You totally broke down my secret game plan with that artfully constructed syllogism! That’s like Aristotelian logic, bro. To cite you, since I am, in fact, one ‘gay ass pussy’ therefore I am logically trying to get ‘my D wet’ with these – what was your term again? – ‘skank-ass bitches’. Bravo, Plato! You, my friend, are a scholar AND a gentleman.”
While this could fall under 'sarcasm', I think “attitude” is more than simply being ironic or flippant. To offer some examples, if a girl keeps calling you a “playa”, it’s funny to accept a “Don Juan lover” attitude where you tell her you write love sonnets and chisel ice sculptors of women you fall in love with. If you and your wings are obviously established, clean-cut guys, it’s funny to say you “met in prison” when HBs ask how you know each other. If an AMOG is screaming how much he hates your peacocking, saying “Glad you like it” in the most disinterested way will ALWAYS get a laugh because it’s so unexpected. (I could keep posting examples, but think it’s better if you consider attitudes you could assume in different situations you find yourself in so it’s more congruent.)
Content – Even with a solid frame and the right attitude, you still need “funny” content. I could devote an entire post to content (and maybe I will) because it’s probably the most difficult aspect of humor to master. However, sticking to a few guidelines will ensure you get big laughs.
1.) Pop culture references – This is probably the most important one to internalize and will instantly transform your humor. Whenever you’re telling a story, figure out how to make a funny pop culture reference or metaphor and you’ll ALWAYS get a laugh. I’ve posted on this before and am currently FTing a whole theory on this (it’s goes beyond just humor), so I don’t want to spend too much time talking about it here. But just to give a stupid example: I was just talking to my friend on the phone and explaining to him how I got black out drunk a few days ago and woke up covered in my own vomit and somehow climbed into my loft bed without setting up the ladder. (I know…this is funny/embarrassing as is…) So here’s how I described it for maximum effect: (Taking the attitude waking up like this when you’re 25 years old is a great life accomplishment and I’m totally proud of myself): “Dude, this black out trumps all previous career drunken black outs. Specifically, I guess drinking an absurd amount of vodka now turns me into Spiderman because I somehow used my Spidey senses to climb into my loft bed without using the ladder…but it gets even better…so my last conscious memory was getting into a cab and then I completely blacked out…but, when I woke up, it was so freaky because I was covered in my own vomit with no ladder to get down from my bed…dude, this shit felt like a scene from SAW…I swear, I thought I was gonna fucking die…I was waiting for that scary little clown to pop out of my kitchen riding that freaky little tricycle and say, “HELLO JUDGE, WANT TO PLAY A GAME??? (In scary voice) Figuring out how to get down from that bed made me realize how much I value life…the Eggo waffles I ate after I got down tasted different somehow. I feel like I have a new lease on life…”
2.) Be specific – More detail ALWAYS means more humor. Whatever detail you can add – whether it be the color of something, the way something looked, the brand name of something, WHATEVER – the harder people will laugh. (This sort of ties into the pop culture references since making a pop culture reference DOES specify and detail your story/joke). I could cite endless examples here, but leave it up to you to figure this out. However, just to use my “black out disaster” example, look at how much less funny this would’ve been had I just told the story without the specifics: “Dude, this black out trumps all previous career drunken black outs. Specifically, I somehow climbed into my loft bed without using the ladder…but it gets even better…so my last conscious memory was getting into a cab and then I completely blacked out…but, when I woke up, it was so freaky because I was covered in my own vomit with no ladder to get down from my bed… I swear, I thought I was gonna fucking die…Figuring out how to get down from that bed made me realize how much I value life…the breakfast I ate after I got down tasted different somehow. I feel like I have a new lease on life…”
3.) Blowing things out proportion – Taking something that’s frivolous and making a big deal out of it with a story and/or a huge extended metaphor is funny. Again, my aforementioned example of waking up from a black out and getting a new lease on life demonstrates this (oh, just in case you couldn’t figure out the sarcasm, my bed is only like 9 feet off the floor so it’s not like there was any real danger). But you can apply this concept at ANY point in the pickup and it’ll amplify whatever you’re doing. For example, if I call a girl a “flaya” (a female playa) because she said something I ‘misinterpreted’ as a flaya comment, that might get a chuckle or a quick, “Nooooooo”. But I’ll get a huge BT spike if I go, “Shit, this chick is such a flaya. I’ll bet you’re like Lil Kim, you have a bunch of manslaves that dance around you in your rap videos and shit. Oh man, I’ll bet you make guys cry all the time. I know your type – You’re one of those honeys getting money playing fellas like dummies…”
(For those of you who caught that, my next point…)
4.) Quoting song lyrics in serious conversation – Always awesome. (Again, relates to the “pop culture” reference.) If you do this with the right delivery, you can get away with ANYTHING. Like, if a girl is getting mad at you, say, “Here’s the thing. We started out friends. Yeah, I mean, it was cool but it was ALL pretend.” Also, another great one (to quote again from my last example) is, if a girl calls you out on using a pickup line, say, “Pick up line!? No way, if I was trying to pick you up I’d ask what your interests are, who you be with? Let’s see…what else…Things to make you smile, what numbers to dial…”
(And her response beings me to my next point…)
5.) Making absurdly wrong assumptions – Never give a straight/honest answer (at least not in the A phases). So, if you use one of my examples mentioned in the last example, and the girls goes, “OMG!!! Are you quoting Kelly Clarkson?!?!?!” You say, “What? No. That’s Shakespeare. God, didn’t you read Much Ado About Nothing?! Do you have any culture?” This also works great for girls with accents. If a girl has a strong Eastern European accent (which I love “btw”), I always say, “Oh wow. Love your accent. Lemme guess, you’re from China.”
Wording – Finally, the way you word things will enhance your humor and eek out all the potential from your frame/attitude/content. Incorporating funny words/phrases is simple. Aside from listening for funny words in every day situations (i.e. floozy, abomination, atrocity), I also write down any phrase I think is humorous. This is why reading books like "Sex, Drugs, and Cocopuffs" is great. Finding people who understand humor will seriously up your game and no one will ever know you're stealing phrases from them. Using over-the-top wording is always funny. So, if a girl says something stupid, rather than telling her, "What?!" say something like, "That was profoundly retarded" or "That was a complete atrocity." Again, I could list off plenty of "funny" words or phrases, but I'm confident you guys can build up your own "funny vernacular."
Conclusion - This is tip-of-the-iceberg stuff but it's enough to get you started and get you laughs. If you don't know how to vibe and be funny, you'll never get laid (sorry!). But, don't worry: humor and "funniness" can be learned so GOOD LUCK!
Friday, March 14, 2008
Night shit
Ugh! I got called into work the damn night shift. As i am the only one at the office, i might as well account for my last couple weeks of sargedom.
I will start off with my inner game advancement. While riding down to the city with an AFC whom i was trying to convert i popped in some Tyler Durden RSD shiz. One of the things TD stresses is to be completely emotionally nonreactive after saying funny shit. This has been a major sticking point for me. After i whip out something funny i always smile, kinda laugh, and also look to see whos enjoying my value. I almost feel as if I am seeking value by looking at them after the joke. If anyone watches the Colbert Report, Steve Colbert is awesome at controlling his composure. He says some of the most ridiculous content all the while keeping a complete straight face. This is partially what makes his show a success. Another awesome person to mirror is Ryan Reynolds in the movies "Van Wilder" and "Waiting". Real good stuff in both movies. As for AMOGing, the main character of the show "House" is great. Basically, every TV show/movie has one badass that cannot be fucked with. The next time you turn on the TV, analyze who plays what role and watch for their defining moments. Honestly, go to the IMDB quotes section for all your fav movies...Material Galore.
For those of you whom do not have big Social Circles yet, i definitely recommend going to the bars/clubs very early. That way you get to establish rapport with the hired guns, and the few people that are already there. From there on, try to make friends with everyone who walks in the door, as this opens many doors later on in the night.
I Also FT'd a variation of the rock band routine. I used it on a 3 set and told them that they reminded me of Destiny's Child... and because i had already slept with them all that im obviously their manager. I did the whole, your the lead singer, your the good girl, and you must be the bi-sexual BAD one. I asked what foreign city we should go to for the next concert, they babbled with eachother for 10 seconds and could not decide on a city.
"OMG you guys are so indecisive...i should break up this band right now before Behind the music gets a hold of this! You (target) are coming with me to start a solo project! Walk with me to get another drink and we can talk over your contract. However as a pre-req, you gotta drop this whole Pittsburgian(any city) accent thing, totally not universal enough.
HBCountry: What do you do?
I-Man: I am an Engineer for a company called “Legos” Yeah, I design structures for the vertically challenged.
While i was gaming HBPharmaceutical, i got interrupted by some dildo that looked like John Mayer.
I-Man: Holy shit its John Mayer, I love the hair man, that rocks!
Mr. Dildo: Its cooler than yours, good thing you have that dumb hat to cover it up!
I-Man: Thanks, kids today wanna dress all homey G gangstafied. I say f that, I wanna be all classy gangsta like back in the 30’s Godfather style. Hence my kickass gangsta hat.
I-Man: What do you think HBPharmaceutical, he look like the Mayer man?
HBPharmaceutical: Yeah he kinda does. I love John Mayer!
I-Man: Haha, I'd Fuck him.
HBPharmaceutical: Oh my god, John Mayer or Dildo?
I-Man looks up and down Mr. Dildo
I-Man: John Mayer
Heres a great line when in the midst of comfort.
I love to use anything Dane cook, very early in the set i ask the group if they have seen his stuff. Regardless of their answer, i always pull out this one at completely random times.
Dane Cook: So i was talking to one of my girlfriends the other day and she said "All guys want is sex" So i was like "hey, finish blowing me... and we will talk about this later."
The worst set of the last couple weeks was a couple HB9's that sat right next to us at the bar. I had a over the shoulder approach, good body language good material, however I started stuttering like a little bitch! I couldn't believe it, i almost didn't even finish the opener before i ejected! I do not know wtf happened, needless to say, i need to start sarging the HB9's and HB10's all the time as to condition myself. Haha, no failures, just feedback.
I-Man
I will start off with my inner game advancement. While riding down to the city with an AFC whom i was trying to convert i popped in some Tyler Durden RSD shiz. One of the things TD stresses is to be completely emotionally nonreactive after saying funny shit. This has been a major sticking point for me. After i whip out something funny i always smile, kinda laugh, and also look to see whos enjoying my value. I almost feel as if I am seeking value by looking at them after the joke. If anyone watches the Colbert Report, Steve Colbert is awesome at controlling his composure. He says some of the most ridiculous content all the while keeping a complete straight face. This is partially what makes his show a success. Another awesome person to mirror is Ryan Reynolds in the movies "Van Wilder" and "Waiting". Real good stuff in both movies. As for AMOGing, the main character of the show "House" is great. Basically, every TV show/movie has one badass that cannot be fucked with. The next time you turn on the TV, analyze who plays what role and watch for their defining moments. Honestly, go to the IMDB quotes section for all your fav movies...Material Galore.
For those of you whom do not have big Social Circles yet, i definitely recommend going to the bars/clubs very early. That way you get to establish rapport with the hired guns, and the few people that are already there. From there on, try to make friends with everyone who walks in the door, as this opens many doors later on in the night.
I Also FT'd a variation of the rock band routine. I used it on a 3 set and told them that they reminded me of Destiny's Child... and because i had already slept with them all that im obviously their manager. I did the whole, your the lead singer, your the good girl, and you must be the bi-sexual BAD one. I asked what foreign city we should go to for the next concert, they babbled with eachother for 10 seconds and could not decide on a city.
"OMG you guys are so indecisive...i should break up this band right now before Behind the music gets a hold of this! You (target) are coming with me to start a solo project! Walk with me to get another drink and we can talk over your contract. However as a pre-req, you gotta drop this whole Pittsburgian(any city) accent thing, totally not universal enough.
HBCountry: What do you do?
I-Man: I am an Engineer for a company called “Legos” Yeah, I design structures for the vertically challenged.
While i was gaming HBPharmaceutical, i got interrupted by some dildo that looked like John Mayer.
I-Man: Holy shit its John Mayer, I love the hair man, that rocks!
Mr. Dildo: Its cooler than yours, good thing you have that dumb hat to cover it up!
I-Man: Thanks, kids today wanna dress all homey G gangstafied. I say f that, I wanna be all classy gangsta like back in the 30’s Godfather style. Hence my kickass gangsta hat.
I-Man: What do you think HBPharmaceutical, he look like the Mayer man?
HBPharmaceutical: Yeah he kinda does. I love John Mayer!
I-Man: Haha, I'd Fuck him.
HBPharmaceutical: Oh my god, John Mayer or Dildo?
I-Man looks up and down Mr. Dildo
I-Man: John Mayer
Heres a great line when in the midst of comfort.
| Jay Leno: | ... how about kids ... you want, you want kids? | |
| Dane Cook: | ... do I want to have kids ... ah, I want to have sex ... if that's the excuse, sure ... |
I love to use anything Dane cook, very early in the set i ask the group if they have seen his stuff. Regardless of their answer, i always pull out this one at completely random times.
Dane Cook: So i was talking to one of my girlfriends the other day and she said "All guys want is sex" So i was like "hey, finish blowing me... and we will talk about this later."
The worst set of the last couple weeks was a couple HB9's that sat right next to us at the bar. I had a over the shoulder approach, good body language good material, however I started stuttering like a little bitch! I couldn't believe it, i almost didn't even finish the opener before i ejected! I do not know wtf happened, needless to say, i need to start sarging the HB9's and HB10's all the time as to condition myself. Haha, no failures, just feedback.
I-Man
Thursday, March 6, 2008
FR: Never flinch after a neg
Hey guys.
I’ve been MIA for a while because mad shit has been going on. I’ll sort of report on everything that’s been going on and share some new openers/techniques as I go along in this steam-of-consciousness post.
First, I’ve been developing new routines. I know at this point in my game, most people would advise dropping the routines and taking a natural game approach, but I actually find the opposite is true. I find with a strong frame, the ability to free style (my term for talking without routines), and awesome inner game that routines are actually 10X more effective. For that reason, I’m writing a LONG cheat sheet of all my best stories, role plays, cold reads, comfort building exercises, etc. Once I finish, I’ll definitely share it.
So, I met another “girlfriend material” babe last Thursday. While this chick wasn’t as hot as HB10Frenchie or even HB9Russian (def not as hot as the sBH11s: SuperModel or MissUSAGirl), she has a certain feistiness (yes, this girl actually is feisty) I find absurdly hot (also, she has a nice set of boobs as well!). Anyway, don’t want to go into the entire Thursday FR because it was mostly uneventful…until the last set. As is ALWAYS my luck (actually it’s not even luck anymore, it’s like a PUA Law or something) right as I’m about to call it a night (around 12:30…I work in the morning!), Theory convinces me to try one last bar. The bar itself is pathetic: a dirty old man establishment across the street from my apartment. But, before I walk in, I see a somewhat attractive chick smoking outside and open with The Judge Classic: “Hey, is it in any good in there?” Hook the 1-set, game for a while, the girl (we’ll call her HB Shit Test because all she did was shit test me…I counted, she asked me to buy her a drink 9 times!) says, “Let me introduce you to my friends.” Brings me over to the bar where two HB9s are sitting (one would later turn out to be a HB8 even though she flashed Ga’ash and I!). HB9 ReallyFiesty immediately perks up when I come over and compliments me on my clothes (I was wearing my classic fur collar H&M jacket which subjects me to infinite shit-testing from AFC guys and lots of IOIs from HBs). Anyway, I ignore HB9ReallyFiesty because I realize I’m really attracted to her. She knew the bartender and gave me 2 free shots (even though I never asked or was even talking to her). End up n-closing the friend (HB Shit Test) I opened outside and make a future “D2” hangout at my apartment for the next day. Both girls made me promise 3 times I’d really invite them over. I knew the IOIs were there. Solid close. I meet Theory at the diner. We eat grilled cheeses.
Before I’m even sitting at my desk Friday morning, I get a text from HB Shit Test “Did you thank god you met me last night?” Awesome. These girls probably won’t flake. After a day of back and forth texts with this girl, she informs me she’s coming with HB9 Really Feisty, HB9 Flasher, and another chick (who turned out to be HB9 Wedding Planner). I assemble my own little PUA Dream Team: me, Ga’ash, my friend Eddie The Manwhore, and Prada. So the girls show up a half hour late (classic) but bring wine. For whatever reason, right from the start the vibe was off. Prada and Manwhore later complained the girls were “no fun” but admittedly my apartment is very small to fit 8 people comfortably and I didn’t really plan any fun activities (since I never trust girls, I didn’t want to go and rent a Wii for $30 to have the girls flake out). Anyway, even though the vibe was off, I could tell HBReallyFiesty wanted me. Right away she asked if she can tie something on my vest and I felt her hands linger a bit too long on my back. Later, when we were all sitting down, I noticed she purposely sat close to me and immediately engaged me in conversation. When I told a story to the group, she was the one laughing the hardest (except at one point when I said, “…this set of underwear had more skidmarks than the fucking autobahn” and Ga’ash was the only one who caught the joke).
Anyway, the little things about girls sometimes drive me nuts. For example, since high school ManWhore and I have had this joke where we pretend to sprinkle roofies in each other’s drinks and then say, “I’ll be seeing YOU later” (wink, wink) So, as we’re doing this to each other, HBReallyFiesty comes running over and says, “Wait! Get one in my drink! I want to have fun, too!!!” Later, I busted out a GREAT routine from the MM manual for the first time. Here it is:
(The girls are talking about “work-safe” emails)
The Judge: Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes people send inappropriate emails to my work account that are just completely unprofessional…like my surgeon wrote me an email and, I mean, I don’t want my coworkers to learn about the operation I just had…
HBs: (gasp) You just had an operation??
The Judge: (Sighs) Yeah. I don’t really want to talk about it…it’s sort of personal. Okay, I’ll talk about it. I got a dick enlargement. They doubled my size; I’m four inches now.
HBs: WTF?!?!?!?!?1?! WAIT!!! HE’S KIDDING RIGHT?!?!!?
The Judge: Kidding?!?! I’m like the most hung guy in
Then I walked away to go to the bathroom. As I’m walking through my kitchen, HB ReallyFiesty chases me, grabs me, looks up at me with these big eyes (she’s VERY short, like 5”2) and says, “I want to see!” and starts trying to undo my pants. I start cracking up and tell her to behave herself and she offers to show me her boobs. “They’re really big!” she tells me as if I haven’t noticed. I say, “I know” and go to the bathroom.
So, after the vibe completely fizzled, we all ended up going to the bar. At the bar, I was pretty drunk (and I was only in A3 with HB ReallyFiesty) and ran VERY sloppy qualifying game on her. While I had a lot of fun with her, we mostly just thumb wrestled, played hot hands, did swirls and tons of other meaningless, pointless shit. At one point, I looked her in the eye and said, “You are so attracted to me.” (Side note: This is the shit 6 months ago as an AFC I would’ve NEVER dreamed would come out of my mouth…it even sounds cocky to me when I say it but it always works so I guess I’m congruent to it). HB ReallyFiesty just looked up at me with those big eyes and said, “Yeah…” Boom. K-close. Then a n-close. We make plans to hang out. She’s nodding her head like a fucking bobble head doll at everything I’m saying: “We’re gonna get sushi (nod nod) then we’re gonna go back to my place and drink wine (nod nod) then if you get enough points we can make out (nod nod) then if you get even more points, you can be my new girlfriend (nod nod) but wait, wait…can you cook???” (By the way, this is NOT a good routine…I was drunk when saying this shit…don’t repeat!)
Anyway, girls end up leaving. Two texts and one phone call later, HB ReallyFiesty is turning out to be an unresponsive flake. HOWEVER, I’m still getting responses from HB Shit Test. I figure if I can keep that bridge (also, Ga’ash offered to “take her down” and if there’s one guy I know I can depend on to take a chick down, it’s Ga’ash). Anyway, I plan on not contacting HB ReallyFiesty until Monday via Facebook (another IOI she gave me was she insisted I “friend” her on Facebook and spelled out her name for me…obviously, I’ve done nothing of the sort but I did manage to find her profile, so Monday I’ll send her this message):
lucky i have a photographic memory (even when I'm sort of drunk) and remembered you spelled your name so i could locate you on thefacebook dot com
so things you have going for you:
> awesome sense of humor (specifically you said 3 lol-worthy things which is super rare...i NEVER meet girls that can make me laugh) +100 points
> you were obviously into me so that shows you have great taste in men :) +150 points
> something i'm not telling you yet but still +200 points
things working against you:
> flakiness - 500 points...seriously the only thing more annoying than flakes are girls that openly rip farts (and, one time, a shart)
i gave these numbers to my 6 year old niece to tally and it looks like you're at -50
so here's what i propose: come by tonight @ 8 (+20 points) and bring crackers (+30 points...+45 points if it's the kind with those sexy keebler elf bitches) and i'll get a bottle of that spanish red wine you like (photographic memory, remember?). but don't get any ideas - we're just gonna talk
i hate facebook so don't bother writing back. just give me a binary response 1 = you're coming; 0 = you're not
since you probably don't have a photographic memory i live at (address)
Moving on. So Saturday night Ga’ash and I roll into the PUA OK Corral (lounge where I met HB Asian Model). Immediately Ga’ash opened a quality 2-set in front of us in line and it was so on with these chicks. Ga’ash and I were like fucking Carl Malone and John Stockton just setting picks, throwing each other LA oops. It was wingmen at their finest. Anyway, I don’t want to harp on all the absurdity that went down that night, but Dave Love Pirate wrote a FR about it, which I have a response to: http://www.nycsargeteam.com/showthread.php?t=147
The part I do want to mention is HB10 Blue Dress. Okay, this girl is exactly the sort of chick I got into the game for. I noticed her across the bar with her two bitchy friends. The entire set looked like complete bitches just waiting to shoot guys down (the friends were both 8s with scowls across their faces). After a scuffle with some RSD chode over another set (a girl who opened me…HB9 Red Dress), I decide to move on HB10 Blue Dress and try a bunch of new routines – ALL of which worked flawlessly (for the first 5 minutes, I ran some of the best game of my life). Here’s the transcript:
(The Judge walks in between the 3 set so that his back is facing HB10 Blue Dress and over the shoulder he engages the two HB8s)
The Judge: Real quick guys, how long would you keep mementos after a breakup?? You know, like photos, movie ticket stubs, rare Led Zeppelin shirts...
HB8 Blonde: Ummmm…like 2 months.
The Judge: Woah, that was a quick answer! Are you flaya? You know one of those female players…
HB8 Brunette: HAHAHAHA…she so is! (Both 8s BL open up to me and I reward them by facing them)
The Judge: Cool, I can only stay a second because I’m gonna piss my pants if I don’t find a bathroom, but get this. (Lock with elbows on the bar, pushing HB10Blue Dress to the side) I was dating this girl Erika back in college. Totally cool chick. So whenever she'd sleep over, I'd lend her this Led Zeppelin shirt in the morning when we'd scamper to the cafe for breakfast. And let me tell you, this Led Zeppelin shirt KICKED ASS. Fucking huge picture of the burning blimp across the chest. Sweet '70s-style lettering. Totally retro. Totally awesome. Anyway, we broke up but she somehow ended up with the shirt. So, the other day, I was ebaying it up, and did a search for the shirt. I only found ONE person selling it, and for over a hundred dollars! And there was like 12 bids on it PLUS 3 days left in the auction. So, now I'm thinking I def need to get that shirt back - for both fiscal and awesome reasons…
HB8 Blonde: (Puts hand on Judge’s forearm) Hun, you can totally get it back. We should call her right now!! We’ll talk to her for you!!
The Judge: YEAH! I just found myself a divorce lawyer. High five!!
HBs: HAHAHAHAHA…don’t go to the bathroom!! You’re awesome!!
The Judge: Holy shit. I love you guys. That’s it. We’re starting a rock band. I’ll be the lead singer. You (HB8 Blonde), you’re gonna be rocking on the guitar. Oh man, this girl (HB8 Brunette) this girl is BAD…so gonna be the drummer!!
HB10 Blue Dress: What am I gonna be? (In a bitchy voice)
The Judge: (Not even looking at her) Pft. I dunno, you can be the groupie or something…Anyway…
HB10 Blue Dress: (Pulls Judge’s arm and does the wide open mouth like ‘who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are’ look)
The Judge: Whatever dude, if you’re gonna cry about it maybe we can find you a cowbell laying around or something…
HB10 Blue Dress: A fucking cowbell? No. I’m playing the guitar.
The Judge: Look at this. We haven’t even played our first gig and we’re already fighting. You know, we’re gonna be talking about this night when we’re all on VH1 Behind the Music. I’m gonna tell the true story about you. That you’re a complete pain the ass to work with…
HB10 Blue Dress: (Makes wide open mouth face, but this time she was sort of smiling in an angry way, like ‘you have fucking balls to be saying this’)
(Literally, it took all my willpower not to crack at this point and blurt out an AFC, “Just kidding!” I simply looked her in the eye with a smart-ass smirk on my face. After holding the line for 5 seconds, I got an avalanche of IOIs.)
HB10 Blue Dress: What’s your name??
The Judge: Guess.
HB10 Blue Dress: I don’t do guesses. Tell me.
The Judge: Then you don’t get to find out my name. (Turns away from her)
HB10 Blue Dress: I’m HB10 Blue Dress. You know, I really DO play guitar. My brother’s teaching me since he got back from
The Judge: Cool. Can you play the F chord??
HB10 Blue Dress: (Looks down ashamed) No… (side note: This was a fucking HILARIOUS reaction…I’ve never seen anyone more upset they couldn’t play a fucking F chord…this shit could only happen in the field!!)
The Judge: Okay HB10 Blue Dress, I’m The Judge.
HB10 Blue Dress: What are you drinking Judge? (Orders me and her a 40 dollar round of drinks)
The Judge: (Takes a big gulp) Aw, look at you. Buying me a drink, trying to get me drunk. How chivalrous…
HB10 Blue Dress: I am! (Pours half her drink into mine)
And then a fatal sticking point. I gamed up HB10 Blue Dress for another couple minutes running decent game, but I felt the whole time my frame was shaking and falling apart. She was giving me too many IOIs, too fast. She was jumping on my hoops too quickly, she was kinoing me too much. At one point, her friend came over and complained about Dave (I don’t know what he said to her, but apparently he pissed her off). This was bad (but didn’t cost me the set). From there, I got a bit needy. I pulled out a pack of gum and offered HB10 Blue Dress a piece. She chewed for a second, then spit it out, and told me my gum “sucks” (probably her version of a neg). Like a chode, I sort of just mumbled, “Okay…” rather than call her on acting crazy. Later on I sloppily bounced her out to the balcony and rang my death kneel when I offered her my jacket. It’s really sad/pathetic a move that once worked for me as an AFC is exactly what got me blown out of this set. After wearing my jacket for a few minutes, HB10 Blue Dress wanted to go back inside saying, “I’m gonna go dance. Bye” and that was that. Blow out. I later saw her getting gamed by some older, rich-looking chode. I even blew him out when I rolled up on the set with HB9 Red Dress on my arm. (Guy was definitely NOT a PUA since I heard him saying to HB10 Blue Dress’ friends, “Huh? What just happened? Is this guy trying to pick her up? Is that his girlfriend or what?” Oh well, it’s a sticking point I have: When extremely high value targets give me too many IOIs too soon, I gotta chill and not over react.
Anyway, that’s some of my new routines/FRs/Updates on the life of The Judge.
Ga’ash you should write up that hot 2-set we gamed up. Quality shit.
Pax. ~TJ
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Progress & A Goal
First off I would like to start this post by thanking The Judge. He has provided a great deal of assistance and willingness to provide excellent advice when it comes to helping me deal with the various sticking points that I have encountered. I do not think I would have made nearly the progress that I have made, let alone any progress at all without your help. If there is anything that I can do to repay you, let me know (if you ever need any free accounting help I am your man).
It has been a little bit over a month since I offered by ultimatum, in that time I probably have made between thirty and forty approaches. Those approaches have turned into 3 numbers (four actually but one was fake, ouch but I had a feeling that I asked way to soon after like 3 minutes) but no day 2s. So I definitely think that I have a problem with the attraction and I am going to work on that, but that is more numbers that I have gotten in my entire life previously on cold approaches( I have gotten numbers before but it was always a friend of a friend or a girl approaching me).
Anyways, last night I was laying in bed unable to sleep after I just got done rereading double your dating, and decided that I needed to set some goals for myself relating to pick-up. I decided that it shouldn’t relate to # closes, because numbers don’t really mean anything as I have been finding out. So what I decided is that I would make 1000 approaches by the end of the year. That is roughly 3 a day or 23 a week, every week for the rest of the year.
Oh, and when did this blog turn into such a ghost town??
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