Phone game is simple: When you call her, treat her like one of your buddies.
The minute she gets on the phone, be really jokey and enthusiastic. For example, when I got HB Snowboarding Badass on the phone the other night (after we'd been playing phone tag for a few days) I opened with, "Fucking HB Snowboarding Badass! Awesome, it's you. Now I don't have to listen to your voicemail where you sound all cracked out. What's goin' on???" (Keep in mind, this girl has a good sense of humor...I wouldn't say shit like that to some of the other HBs I've called...)
After opening with something jokey, I immediately stack into a story about "something that happened" to me that day. It can be a real story, but I recommend using a canned story you know is funny (for example I usually use the story about getting grabbed by the dirty homeless guy or the “evil cat” routine…).
After that, HB should feel really comfortable talking to me since I've DHV'd myself by acting confident and funny, made her feel comfortable by carrying the weight of the convo for the first 2 minutes, and reminded her WHY she gave me her number in the first place (this is so key as most 8+ girls give their numbers to lots of guys but then flake them later because the guys are hopeless and needy on the phone).
From there, just ask her questions that qualify her but IOI her for good answers and lightly neg her for bad ones. Example:
The Judge: Oh man, I remember you’re into art, that's so cool. Who are your favorite artists??
HB: Cezanne, Picasso, and Rembrandt (tells story about why she likes them....story is interesting)
The Judge: Oh man, that is so awesome. You know, it's a good thing we met because I NEVER meet people like you. Most people think great artists are, like, the guy who draws Garfield comics but you get this stuff. I gotta admit, I'm impressed. But hold on, do you have a good taste in music, too?? What kind of music do you like?
Now lets say she gives a bad answer...classic bad answers are "Ummm...I don't know?? Like dance music I guess…" In this case, you have to LIGHTLY neg her and try and prod her to give a better answer (this is both for you and her as she'll feel a lot better if she thinks she's living up to your standards….which is part of my “theory” which I’m currently writing for you guys.) So here's my go-to neg.
The Judge: Dance music??? You guess??? What the fuckkkkk?? Dude, that's how my cousin answers questions and he's 7 years old! Oh man, I don't if this friendship is gonna work now. You're starting to scare me. You struck me as the type of girl who'd be into cool, indie rock bands. I could totally see you liking this band Wolf Parade. We're gonna have to have an intervention and I'm gonna burn you one of their CDs, introduce you to some good music...
See what I’m doing? I’m constantly setting the frame that I’m leading the interaction and she has to live up to my standards.
Oh, one last tip: Always smile when you're on the phone. I know it sounds stupid, but the HB will hear it in your voice. If it always sounds like you're having a good time, HBs will want in on that. Look in the mirror if you have to, but always keep a smile on your face when you talk on the phone...
Oh, and in terms of follow-up FR/LR, I f-closed HB Writer last night after the Christmas party. Quality stuff, with some twists. I’ll write up a LR on it if I get some time latter in the week, but for now I’ll say it really depended on A LOT of reframes. Perfect example:
(We’re in my apartment and she was cooking dinner for me as I was slumped back in a chair twirling a glass of red wine)
HB Writer: Ohhh look at you, Mr. Pimp. You have this gorgeous Italian girl cooking you dinner. You’re a lucky guy!!
The Judge: Haha, good one. I’ve had a gorgeous Italian girl cooking me dinner for the last 24 years of my life, but nice try though. (My mom’s Italian)
There were at least 4 or 5 situations like this where she tried to reframe our situation that I was lucky or I was chasing her (she told me stories about a couple guys I work with hitting on her or trying to hook up with her. Nice!) but I kept reframing or ignoring her. Later she said that really attracted her. Nice!
And, as for HB Snowboarding Badass, her behavior has been bordering on AFC. Chick texts, calls, and FB messages me all day! I mean, it’s cute but at the same time it makes me realize that these hot, badass chicks are really like little puppy dogs on the inside. If I qualify her or tell her she’s not living up to my standards, she gets really nervous and changes her tune. Here’s a picture of her from FB (Ga’ash might not recognize her because either a.) she’s wearing a blonde wig, or b.) she used to be a blonde) Regardless, I feel compelled to let you guys put a “face” with a “name”.
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