Albany: Part II

(The Judge walks to table. Prada is (thankfully) still there.)

The Judge: Ladies, meet my friend Prada. (Pulls HB Frenchie next to him, places HB Blondie with Prada)

HBs: How old is Prada. Ahhhhhhhh…

Prada: Guess.

HBs: (Jibberish)

The Judge: Okay, shut up. We’re talking about sexual predators. (Goes into sexual predator routine)

HB Frenchie: Ahhhhh, he called hooker boots bitch boots. Ahhhhh

The Judge: Shhhhh woman. They’re called bitch boots. Anyway…

HB Frenchie: (Jibberish)

(The Judge and HB Frenchie go into rapport; Prada talks to HB Blondie)

The Judge: (Notices HB Blondie and Prada aren’t talking and HB Blondie potentially might blow out the set – by the way Prada, The Judge is still curious why you didn’t engage HB Blondie with general bullshit) Okay, you guys are cool. I’m glad we met you tonight because I got MOLESTED by a fat girl over at Pauly’s. Get this… (stacks into Tony the Tiger routine)

HBs: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I’ll bet you liked it!!!!!!!

The Judge: (Sarcastically) Yeah, I love fat girls grabbing me. Awesome.

HB Frenchie: I want a picture with him. (Snuggles up to The Judge)

The Judge: Uh okay. (HB Blondie pulls out a camera and takes a picture)

HB Blondie: I want one with him too. (The Judge leans over the table and takes a picture with HB Blondie)

HB Frenchie: Wait, I want another one with him. (To The Judge) You’re a hot metrosexual. (Takes another picture with The Judge. This bullshit goes on with several pictures…hopefully HB Blondie will post them on Facebook so The Judge can put them on the blog haha)

The Judge: Okay enough already. I don’t know if this friendship is going to work out. You girls are a little intense. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done??

HB Frenchie: I give awesome blowjobs!

HB Blondie: I had a threesome with two football players!

HB Frenchie: Noo! I had sex with my ex-boyfriend on the fourth floor of my high school.

HB Blondie: (Rubs The Judge’s thigh under the table) She’s lying! Stop! (Girls go into this mini cat fight qualifying themselves with sex stories)

The Judge: (Somewhat astonished) Uhhhhhhhhhh…

(HB 9 LJBF comes over to the table – this was NOT planned by the way – and slams both her fists down)

HB LJBF: WHAT THE FUCK, THE JUDGE.

The Judge: Sup chick. What do you want?

HB LJBF: We’re leaving. LETS GO.

The Judge: Uhhhhh, no thanks. We made some new friends.

HB LJBF: (Stares at The Judge either seductively or angrily) You’re an asshole.

The Judge: (The Judge actually has no idea why LJBF is acting like this but sees the potential jealously plotline as HB Frenchie is watching all this wide-eyed) Listen, we’ll leave when we’re ready. Here (pulls out cell phone) write your address in here.

HB LJBF: (Pissed off sexy look as she programs her address into the phone) Dick. (Storms away)

HB Frenchie: OMG!!!!! Was that your girlfriend????? Did I get you in trouble?!?!!?

The Judge: That? That’s just some girl. She’s with the people we’re staying with…

HB Blonde: She wants your cock.

HB Frenchie: SERIOUSLY!

The Judge: Of course she does, okay so if you could be anything you wanted – with no chance of failure what would you be. GO! (Points to HB Blondie) (Side note: Obviously this is the Cliffnotes version of what happened. Somewhere in here, while I still had my cell phone out, I n-closed both girls but won't go into that)

HB Blondie: (Jibberish… The Judge pays close attention to Blondie’s answer because he observed HB Frenchie is susceptible to jealousy and saw them competing over him so he figures this is the new gameplan: Have the friends fight over him)

(General bullshit)

The Judge: (Talking to HB Blondie, not looking at Frenchie)

HB Frenchie: OMG! Ewwwwwww…

(The Judge turns to face HB Frenchie to find PUA Wanna Be pulling his arm around HB Frenchie with a sleazy look on his face)

PUA Wanna Be: Wassup buddy…

(Haha sorry Ga’ash but I gotta write something for work. This will be concluded in Part 3)