The Enlightened Path to Attraction and Hooking: SP

Here’s an email someone sent me about a sticking point: I was hoping that you could help with a sticking point of mine in your next post. I have been opening consistently, but I have trouble transitioning from my opener to dhv. I am not big on using the over used community material (ie ring finger routine, best friends, cube, etc.), but if I have to I have to. I have noticed that when I do try to transition that is where my set goes stale. I appreciate any help you can give. Thanks.

This is a great question and I think it’s the “make or break” moment in most PUAs’ careers. I say this because – in what I’ve observed in my own plights and the plights of others –destroying AA and opening are reachable goals for most guys. I mean, I’m not selling anyone short: It takes balls and a willingness to do something 90 percent of other dudes are afraid of; however, all you’re really asking for is a conversation. You’re not presupposing any value. You’re not conveying you’re a prize. You’re simply saying, “Hey, I have a question. I’m not hitting on you, let’s talk.” While a great start, the real trick (and probably the hardest part of PUA) is the hook point. (Hence, why whenever I go sarging with someone and they beg me to tell them my opener, my response is always, “It’s not what I said; it’s what I said NEXT.”)

So let me explain a specific, FT’d way to demonstrate value and blow past this sticking point…

Okay, so I’m sure you guys all have openers that have worked for you. Personally, I try not to be a PUA parrot and repeat the same opener repeatedly, but there is a benefit to using the same opener multiple times: You can predict responses. You see, most “opinion” openers have a fixed set of responses. If you use an opener 10 times, you’ll probably hear them all. Let me demonstrate with a “Judge exclusive” opener that’s FT’d with great results.

The Judge: Guys, I need to borrow you for five point three seconds. Real quick, give me an ugly-sounding guy’s name. (Sometimes while I’m delivering the opener, I’ll pull out my cell phone)

This might be my new favorite opener because 1.) it doesn’t sound like anything from The Game or the VH1 show 2.) it’s a shotgun question that can be delivered in loud venues 3.) it’s very low committal and calls for immediate input which engages the set.

So, as long as that opener is delivered decently, the set will open with ONLY two responses: 1.) they’ll shoot a guy’s name at you immediately or 2.) they’ll think about it and then tell you a guy’s name.

Here’s how to respond: In situation 1, you bust on them for responding too quickly. For example, a few nights ago I had a girl scream “TREVOR!” in my face before I even finished talking. So I busted out a little playful neg:

The Judge: (Jaw drops in shock) Woah, easy there! That answer was just a little too fast! Let me guess, you had some lurid love affair with a guy named Trevor and now ‘he’s a complete jerk’ (all said in a playful way…the ‘complete jerk’ part is delivered in falsetto girl’s voice and I do some faux chick mannerisms like put my hand on my hip)

The girls will start cracking up and scream, “No, no!” which you can then bust on them further like, “Haha, OH MY GOD. Did I just wander onto the set of “The View”? You guys are a feisty bunch, aren’t you?”

Ect, ect.

Situation 2: Sometimes girls will be so surprised by your approach, they’ll think about it. This is less common than the first situation, but happens about 30 percent of the time. Regardless, you bust on them for taking too long to respond. Here’s how:

The Judge: OH NO, this girl is running through every guy she HATES and trying to narrow down whose name she’s going to give me. Dude, why are soo hostile toward men?? We’re not all evil…

Again, usually this will elicit chuckles and hilarity which you vibe on…

Additionally, after their response you can do a little “best friend” test variation and drop some group cold reads on them. For example:

The Judge: Oh my God, you totally looked at each other before you answered. Uh oh, some girl coding action going on here. You guys must be bffs!

The Judge: Oh my God, this girl totally is waiting for this girl to answer. This one must be the boss of the group. Respect, Alpha female (pounds the ‘boss’). You’re an Amazon.

Or simply:

The Judge: Oh my God, you guys are RETARDED. My name’s Igor and my mom says it’s a pretty name…

Whatever. You get the point. Basically the structure is 1.) open 2.) start dominating social group without completely stealing the spotlight…yet.

Once you’ve vibed a bit and you’re raising their buying temperature, you’re in a position to either a.) keep vibing and run small routines (good for loud venues) or b.) social peacock with a story that’ll put you in the spotlight.

As you guys can probably guess, I usually opt for option b, however don’t presuppose this is the best plan of action. In fact, I’ve blown myself out of sets that were going well because I wanted to launch into a story TOO MUCH and my voice and BL communicated that making me seem like the try-hard guy (aka not the prize). So do what feels comfortable at this point, but this is usually at least a good point to explain why you’re asking (and, if you pulled your cell phone out when you delivered your opener, it’s a good chance to explain why).

So, with option a, just say something simple,

The Judge: Okay, cool. So you think an ugly guy’s name is Trevor? Alright, I have to call my friend Dan in a second because he gave his number to some awkward girl he met at a bar the other night and she keeps calling him. So, he figures if he tells her his name is something ugly-sounding like Trevor maybe she’ll leave him alone. Hey, have you guys ever flaked a guy off? What did you do? Maybe I’ll tell my friend – which by the way, I have to call him in a second. I can’t bear to think that he’s waiting by the phone for an ugly-sounding guy name and this beast can call at any minute and use her powers of awkwardness to get him on a date!

While this might sound retarded, look at the DHVs in there: 1.) the FTC “I have to call my friend in a second” 2.) you understand flaking (most guys take it personal, you’re showing you don’t give a shit…in fact, think it’s funny) 3.) care about your friends 4.) baiting them to tell a story that’s a DHV for them (so it looks like they’re qualifying themselves to you, nice!).

Option B, is the social peacock where I bust out my FAVORITE SP story of all time. This little anecdote, if told properly, will get you rockstar value (I’ll leave it to you to tweak the details to make if congruent to you…also, this story can also be told from the first person, which it usually is. I’ve only recently modified it for this approach structure).

The Judge: Okay, cool. So you think an ugly guy’s name is Trevor? Alright, I have to call my friend Dan in a second because he gave his number to some awkwardly creepy chick he met at a bar the other night and she keeps calling him. Okay, I gotta call him in a second because I can’t bear to think that he’s waiting by the phone for an ugly-sounding guy name while this beast can call at any second…but I’ll tell you the story real quick. Because it’s pretty hilarious…

(At this point, make sure you have everyone’s attention and the set is waiting to hear the story but you should have enough value to make that happen...)

Okay, so my friend Dan goes to Notre Dame Law School and he’s out with a law school buddy and two lady friends and they’re all hanging out, enjoying the magic of two-for-one domestic drafts. It was ‘80s night so I’d imagine everyone is all duded up, rocking to Journey…you know, no one’s stopped believing. So it sounds like all the elements of a good night are in place. Well, the girls went and wandered off to dance with each other, and my friend goes to order another round. As he turns to face the dance floor, he sees this chick – like, the way he described her sounded like if Tony the Tiger was an overweight chick, this is what he’d look like. Okay, he said she had this fizzy-perm hair thing going on and this huge “They’reeeeeeeee great” grin on her stupid face. So Tony is like muscling her way through the crowd, just clawing people to get by. And my friend makes unfortunate eye contact with her…and…well…Dan said he saw it in her eyes…she’s making a beeline for him! Of course, he started making contingency plans to stop this impending tragedy. But no such luck. Before he can use our patented ‘bathroom bail’ – I totally taught him that one – this Tony the Tiger chick has one hand on his back, telling him – not asking – TELLING him they’re gonna dance. Well. He pries her hand off like a dead starfish, sort of like this…one finger at a time. And, maybe it was the general atmosphere, but Dan told me it seemed like this chick had eight fucking arms because whenever he pealed one hand off his back – or, at that point, off his ass…she was very forward – it felt like two more hands took its place. To make a long story short, out of sheer awkwardness, he gave this chick his number…and now we’re all in this predicament together. Me, you guys, Dan, Tony the Tiger: It must be fate. But ANYWAY, if there’s a moral to this story – which there’s not – but IT THERE WERE it would be that girls are complete sexual predators!

Boom. Social hook, value, and attraction. Also, bonus points: Reverse the “guys-chase-girls” frame to “girls-chase-guys” frame. Stack to TD’s sexual predator routine and you’ve solidified yourself as THE PRIZE.

Let me know if you want more of this structure, but I think you guys can take it from there.

Basically, the play-at-home version of all this is as follows:

1.) Get an opener, FT it about 10 times. (Record or remember all the responses)

2.) Figure out clever comebacks to every response but don’t make it seem try hard. Be somewhat spontaneous while cocky and funny.

3.) Cold read the group, display dominance over her social circle.

4.) Vibe and either keep vibing with FTCs and take-aways thrown in during attraction spikes OR social peacock with the fabled “Tony the Tiger” story.

Comments or more questions/sticking points welcome.