FR: Return from Bermuda

Ah.

I'm tired, not sunburned, and sick. That means 2/3s of my successful vacation criteria has been met.

Anyway, I just recited my whole trip minute for minute to Golden Child and realized (in terms of sarging) nothing too earth-shattering happened. I got a few make outs. I broke up a 9 month relationship when one of those aforementioned make outs happened right in front of the girl's boyfriend. I worked on quick escalation and venue bouncing with great success. I almost pulled a girl onto the beach until her super annoying friend followed us and cockblocked me. I opened pretty much 100 percent of my sets except for an atrocious 2-set who screamed at me (scary!).

Hmmmmm...I guess if you're planning a vacation to Bermuda, here are my tips.

1.) All the guys look gangsta but are complete chodes who supplicate endlessly.
2.) PEACOCK! If you look at the pictures, you can see I dress completely incongruently to the environment every night. Sure I got a lot of shit from guys but I also had girls opening me since I stood out like a bright shiny object.
3.) Being from a cool place in the US (like NY) gives you instant social proof.
4.) No tourists go to Bermuda anymore (too expensive!) so it's all local girls.
5.) The local girls are all pretty cute (7s and 8s) but no standout bombshells.
6.) All the girls have a really cute Bermudian accent.

Now pictures starring TJ, Prada, Thoery, HB8StarryEyes, HB8.5StripperIOIs, HB7CockBlock, and unfortunately HB8.5 Skinny Blonde's picture didn't develop (I had my digital camera stolen so I had to buy one of those cheap disposable cameras...sucked). I'm not going to label these pictures or explain the significance of the names. Consider this a "Photo FR" with shitty photos.

Pax.
~TJ

The D2 Grab Bag

Hey guys.

As most of my posts usually start, my apologies for not posting in a few weeks. To be honest, I haven't been posting on VA or NYC Sarge. The reasons for this are complicated, but I'll say this: My game has been off the past weeks. I don't know why, but the pieces haven't been clicking like they usually are. I've been getting some unnecessary blowouts. My inner game has been off. I've even felt the cold sting of AA creep back up on me.

Funny thing is, I HAVE been going on D2s. I've actually had 3 D2s with 3 different girls for the last 3 weeks. However, those D2s have been 50/50. Some went well, others were disasters. My personal fav was a D2 that was going great then spiraled into awfulness. The girl was very cute (looked like Kerry from Sex in the City) and very interesting. I took her to a winebar and found the atmosphere perfect for the energy and vibe of the D2. Everything was looking good as she was slowly falling into my frame. Then, disaster struck (cue Jaws theme):

TJ: So I have 3 qualities I look for in a girl, if a girl doesn't have these 3 qualities then she's getting kicked to the curb.

HB Sex in the City: Noooooooooo!! What are they??

TJ: (Goes into 3 qualities routine, obviously only telling her 2. Flirty banter about how I'm not going to tell her the third, blah blah blah) HB SitC: Yeah, well I have 3 qualities I look for in a guy, too.

TJ: Cool. I love a girl with standards. What are your 3 qualities.

HB SitC: (Names 2 qualities I can't remember then...) And, I know it's going to sound weird, but I need a guy who's REALLY Republican. You know, like totally believes in that thinking.

TJ: BWAHAHAHAHA!! Republican!?!?!? Are you a 90-year-old white man???

HB SitC: Ahhhhhh stop!!! Hahahaha

TJ: No, seriously. The last person I met under the age of 60 who was a hardcore Republican was this nutjob I had to room with temporarily in college. This guy was out of his fucking mind!! Get this: He was a Born Again Christian...

HB SitC: (Probably looked offended...didn't really notice)

TJ: Yeah, he thought Darwinism was a myth!! What a loon. How do you not believe in Darwin??

HB SitC: Umm, because it IS a myth. I'm Born Again, too.

TJ: Oh....shit....

Talk about frame control! That threw me totally off guard! To be honest, I WAS being an asshole and probably deserved getting called out like that. Hilariously, the night before I was out with this artsy/literary chick and we totally bonded over the "Make Fun of TJ's Former Crazy Roommate" routine so I thought I'd FT it again. And, wow, talk about something blowing up in your face!

Okay, speaking of things blowing up in my face, let's get to the crux of this post: The D2 Grab Bag. Alright, I come up with all these funny Judgeisms to describe my adventures as a NYC Serial Dater. One term I like is "The D2 Grab Bag" to describe girls I run game on for 10 minutes, quickly take their number, follow up with on the phone, set up a D2, then realize, shortly prior to the D2, I don't even remember what they look like. This happens hilariously frequently, especially as my attraction game gets tighter.

Let me advise all you out there reading this: If you haven't experimented with this type of game, try it! It's a thrill akin to sky-diving or shark swimming...either it's totally awesome or you're going to get seriously maimed. Regardless, you NEVER know what's going to happen. (Usually, it'll lead to disappointment but who care??) Often if you thought a girl was 7 in a darkly-lit bar after a night of sarging, she'll probably turn out to be a 5.5 on the D2 (true story, total shocker).

But last night I saw the firsthand exception to this.

So, I PU'd this girl a few weeks back after a ROUGH night in the field. This was a final set that I opened simply because I had nothing better to do. We were at some crazy Latin dance club and I just wanted to crawl into my bed and go to sleep. All I remembered about this girl was she shit-tested me relentlessly. In fact, probably the only reason I took her number was I wanted to practice plowing through shit-tests.

So a few days later I'm going through my phone list and needed a few numbers to warm up on. I see this girls number, call her up, and immediately the shit-tests start again. When she answers, she immediately tried to get off the phone which I just spoke over her, got her laughing, and ran solid Judge-style phone game. Once I flipped this girl, she was like my laugh track on a sitcom. Everything I said, she thought was knee-slapper comedy. I got off the phone with her but made a mental note to call this girl whenever I needed to get in state.

So, for the new few weeks, whenever I needed to pump my state (or if I was just sitting at home bored), I'd call this girl up. And every time I said anything, this girl would pee her pants. Since this girl thought I was Jerry Seinfield, I thought 'Why not go on a D2 with her? If nothing else, I can practice some new routines' and set up a D2 (which was yesterday).

As I was taking the train home last night, I started to have SERIOUS doubts about meeting up with this HB Laugher. I was like, 'What the hell am doing? Why am I spending time with girls I'm not even interested in? Better yet, why am I spending time with girls I can't even remember???? wtf Judge??' In my mind, this was WORSE than a blind date because at least on a blind date the awkwardness is implicit.

Anyway, I considered flaking on her but realized I was too tired to go out and sarge (long, drama-filled D2 the night before) so I decided just to keep the plans. I told Hb Laugher to call when she was outside my apartment and I'd come down. When she got there and called, for some reason she said, "Oh, in case you forgot what I look like, I'll be wearing a yellow blouse blah blah blah."

Thank God she gave me that little tip because I would've never recognized her. When I got downstairs I saw a very hot HB8.5 waiting for me! I was like 'WTF! I thought this girl was like a 7 at best!'

I ended up taking her my new "summer D2" with amazing results. I'll detail some of my new routines and shit later, but for now I leave you with a pic of HB8.5 Laugher to inspire you all to get your hands in the D2 Grab Bag! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

On the Determent of Being Earnest (and Other Musings)

It's Sunday. I'm sitting in Starbucks. Time to do a Memento-style recollection of my week.

Lately I've been sarging more than ever. Perhaps more than I should. I decided to sharpen my skillset before leaving for Bermuda (in early May) but even I'm getting a little sarged out. Okay, no I'm not. But I've definitely seen some shit in that last few days.

Let's start with the end of last night.

So, it's around 2a.m. and I'm with The Golden Child, Sebastian (rAFC) and another AFC. We try to get into this exclusive NYC club and the doorguy laughs at us, tells us there's NO WAY he's letting in 4 guys unless we buy bottle service ($1,000).

I'm like 'Yeah right guy, PAX' but before I say it, Golden Child asks, "How can we get in without doing bottle service?"

Doorguy (who looked exactly like Brad Pitt) goes, "You bring back 4 hot girls, you're in." Golden Child acting like the arrogant PUA he should be, shouts, "No problem!"

Suddenly 2 other promoters appear out of the shadows, start laughing, and are like, "Because you guys are comedians, we'll let you in if you pay $80 cover."

GC keeping his frame says, "Dude, we'll be back with girls. Just wait."

Promoters and doorman start laughing again and go, "Here's the deal. You guys come back with 8 girls, we'll buy YOU bottle service." They all start laughing like hyenas.

We walk away with fire in our eyes...

We go across the street and invade a bar. No sets. We go next door, no quality sets. We walk down the block, no sets.

Where are all the hot girls in Manhattan at 2a.m.???

The AFC guy goes, "Let's just call it a night and get some food." Since I had some quality numbers to hit (potential same night pulls), I like the sound of this and agree.

But GC, wanting to show these pretentious NYC clubs what the deal is, says, "Let's keep trying to pull girls for the next 5 minutes." As he says that, I spot a huge group of blondes walk out of a limo. Without a word, I'm tracking them like a hunter. They're crossing the street. I get behind them.

Boom. I'm in state.

TJ: Hey, you guys walk fast.

HBs: (Turn around) What??

TJ: Get it up. (High fives one of the girls)

HBs: (Tentatively high fives TJ)

TJ: Worst. High five. Ever. I'm gonna get this girl in the gym. Get her working on some bicep curls. Then I'm gonna teach you some high five etiquette. This girl knows what's up. (High fives some HB laughing at this stupidity)

HBs: Hahaha

TJ: Cool, you guys are my new all-girl crew. You're gonna protect me from the fat girls. Hop on. (Holds out arms, two girls jump on)

HBs: What's your name?? Who are you???

TJ: We'll figure out all those details at (pretentious NYC club). Let's roll.

HBs: Okay!!

At this point, GC was working two other chicks in the huge set. We roll up to the club with this huge group of girls. Since the promoter and doorman had turned us away not 10 minutes before, they knew exactly who we were.

The social proof was unreal.

For starters, there was a HUGE line out front at this point, which I just walked right past. When the Brad Pitt-looking promoter saw me rolling up with 2 hot blondes on my arm, he ran over to the big black bouncer and had him open the velvet rope for me. So I go into celeb-mode and start acting all arrogant and breaking rapport with everyone.

One of the promoters runs up to me, asks my name. I just smile, look at both girls, and walk into the club. Promoters start flipping out because they know they have to get us bottle service now.

The doorman keeps repeating, "Impressive! So impressive!"

I'm like, "Yeah yeah yeah, so what's up with this bottle service guy? It's this girl's BIRTHDAY."

Girls are all like, "AHHHHH YEAHHHHH!!!!!"

Eveyone's BT is spiking.

I think someone pissed their pants. Whatever.

Just to be dicks, the doorguy actually made GC, Sebastian, and I pay a 5 dollar cover (wtf?!)! At this point, I was ready to walk away without these girls (keep in mind, when I go into celeb-mode, I stay completely congruent and paying 5 dollars seems like a frivolous hoop to make someone jump through). We pay and I see GC high fiving the promoters, telling the doorman his name.

When we get inside, two more guys run up on me and start trying to get rapport with me. They hand me a roll of ticket vouchers for free drinks. Again, when I go into state, I stay congruent so I go all cocky and act like I'm entitled to all this shit.

I see the GC giving one of the guys his e-mail address. When we're inside the girls are flocking around me so I plant myself, back against the wall. The girls form a little circle around me. I shout, "OMG, you guys are sucking me into a cute girl vortex, GET OUT OF HERE!"

All the girls start cracking up but their BT is way too high. There's no way I can maintain the energy level of these clowns. I end up fractionating the group, hand the girls some free drink vouchers (because I wasn't in the mood to drink) and go upstairs.

Upstairs, my state is redic. I walk through the club like Mario with star power. I walk to the balcony, look out onto the beautiful NYC night/morning. I see a couple girls dancing by me. I tap one on the shoulder, lean against the balcony, then beacon her to come to me. She complies. Her friend runs over, too. I start talking to HB1 and HB2 is behind her. HB2's head is peeping over HB1's shoulder. I start cracking up.

TJ: Look at you two. You're like her little parrot, perched on her shoulder like that!

HB2: What??

TJ: Cool, you talk, too. You want a cracker?

HB1: Hahahahahaha.

(The Judge is about to get negged hard.)

HB2: EWWWWWWW!!!

TJ: Huh?

HB2: Ew! You have a booger hanging out of your nose!!

TJ: Yeah, I like it there little birdy. Anyway...

HB2: No! Seriously! You have this booger hanging out of your nose and I can't keep talking to you until you get rid of it!

TJ: Hmmm..I'm just gonna let it hang there so it'll distract you and you won't be able to stop looking at it. Anyway...

HB2: No, seriously! You have to get rid of it. That's SO nasty. I'm trying to be nice here!!

TJ: Wow, you just can't get over this booger thing. Okay, let's make a deal. You can pick it for me. Go for it. (Tilts head up)

HB2: Ew! Ew! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! That is SOOOO GROSS. I can't keep talking to you!!!

TJ: Okay, later.

(HB2 starts walking away. TJ grabs her and spins her back around)

TJ: Come on. Pick it, baby. I LOVE when girls pick my boogers. Shit is SO romantic.

HB2: (Grabs TJ's hand and directs his hand to the booger)

TJ: (Pulls a very large booger from his nose...absolutely disgusting) Cool. Here's your prize. (Pretends he's going to wipe it on her)

HB2: AHHHHH!!!!! (Runs away) (This was an amazing reaction because I actually wanted to isolate with HB1 and wanted to get rid of the nasty booger hanging out of my nose)

Anyway, that story demonstrates how you can go from celeb-mode to creepy booger boy in 1 neg. While I saw the whole interaction as a frame-control thing, sometimes a booger is just booger. Which is nasty ALL the time.

Anyway, ironically, my "cool-guy" attitude actually almost costed us a very valuable connection. GC ended up chilling with the promoters and these guys promote for the BEST NYC clubs. They kept telling GC how impressed they were that we were able to pull girls like that. (In all honesty, I don't know why this blew these guys away so much. These girls could've been our friends...although, I think they might've seen me pull the girls because I picked them up across the street from the club.) Anyway, these guys said they'd hook us up with all kinds of free shit and some awesome NYC clubs. We'll see if they come through.

Anyway, I finally got over my SP of getting IOIs too fast from super hotties!

So earlier in the night, GC and I were purposely going into hard sets. GC spots this hotty crew of 3 VERY attractive girls (2 blondes and an exotic-looking Indian/Spanish girl) and 1 squatty ug. GC AFC friends are there who had just read The Game. They were looking up to Sebastian like he was guru so these guys definitely were def beginners (but cool nonetheless). Anyway, GC says, "Dude, I gotta show my friend how this shit is done. I'm going in!" GC rolls up on the set, opens perfectly, gets the girls laughing. The 2 blondes are leaning into him, but since he's against the bar, the 2 other girls (HB Exotic, ug obstacle) are cut off. One of the blondes gets a phone call and wanders off while GC has one of the hot blondes in iso.

His friends are flipping out. They're like, "WOAH! I never knew he could do this! He's like fucking Neil Strauss!!!!" I'm checking out HB Exotic and while GC didn't need a wing, I want this girl badly. So I tell the guys I'm going in to wing GC. I roll up to the set and see the ug dancing by the bar. I lock in by the bar, next to HB Exotic, and open the ug.

TJ: Look at you dancing like that. So fucking cute.

Ug: (Smiles)

TJ: (To HB Exotic) You know what I want to do with her? I'm gonna shrink her down to this big. Put her on the dashboard of my car. Get her doing that cute like hula girl dance for me all day.

Ug: HAHAHA

TJ: Stop laughing you! You're gonna get me into car accidents all the time. Because you're gonna be all dancing like this (Imitates the girl's dance) and I'm gonna be driving my car into polls. Thanks! My insurance is gonna be through the roof because of you!

Both HBs: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

TJ: You guys are cuties...I'm adapting you both as my new little sisters.

HB Exotic: Yeah!!! (Starts putting her hands all over TJ)

TJ: Okay, five bucks. Five bucks. You don't get to touch for free.

Ug: (Starts grabbing TJ) What's with this coat? Why are you wearing fur???

TJ: Glad you like it. You're a sweetheart.

HB Exotic: I do like it. You're dressed so sexy.

TJ: (Ignores her as ug starts adjusting TJ's tie, coat) Wow look at this, I'm gonna hire you as my fashion consultant.

Ug: Hahahaha...I LOVE the way you're dressed.

TJ: You guys are such cuties. (HB Exotic starts feeling TJ's stomach and her hand is moving down his body) Woah, what did I say about the touching. You're running up quite the tab, missy.

HB Exotic: (Squeezes TJ's ass) I'm taking you for a test drive.

TJ: Normally, that'd be 10 bucks. But I'm gonna let you ride for free because you're a cutie. (Ug wanders off because she sees TJ and HB Exotic getting very touchy with each other)

(Flirt for 5 minutes. Lots of kino both ways, RPs, whatever...at this point, I realized how hot this girl was. She literally looked like Jasmine from Aldin. So fucking hot and exotic looking. Also, she was sexual as a mofo. I'll say HB9.5.)

TJ: So, what else do you do besides pickup guys at bars?

HB Exotic: That's all I do. Pick up beautiful boys.

TJ: You're either the coolest girl ever or this total weirdo.

HB Exotic: How about a little of both?

TJ: Seriously, tell me what you do.

HB Exotic: I work in advertising. Tell me what you do, beautiful boy.

TJ: I'm a writer for (magazine)

HB Exotic: I. Think. Writers. For. (Magazine) are sooooooo sexy.

TJ: Shut up. (Starts making out with HB Exotic)

There was much more to this pickup, but this girl had so much sexual energy and throwing me so many IOIs, I had to control myself. To be honest, she was giving me so much compliance and IOIs so quickly, I thought they might've been fake or a shit-test. She looked a little older than me (late 20s) so I thought she might've been just testing me and not really that interested. But once we started making out, I knew it was ON. Anyway, this could've definitely been a ONS had her friend not thrown a fucking diva fit (the blonde who wandered off on the phone when GC opened) because the guy on the phone was her cheating finance or some retarded shit.

Anyway, I made some girl cry because I was winging GC and started talking to his target's HB7 friend. This girl was all over me (told me I look like Topher Grace wtf) but then she saw me talking to several other girls (one being HB Exotic) and totally lost it. (I actually DO feel bad since I know how shitty that feels.)

Another funny thing. So GC and I were out practicing some DG (I seriously need to improve my Day Game), and we were hanging out by the NYU dorms. As we're chilling there, who do we see walk by but Persephone (Affection's gf and wing woman). She took us to the NYU cafe (surprisingly no hot sets!) and we talked pickup for 3 hours (this girl knows more about PU than most guys!).

Finally, let's move to The Determent of Being Earnest.

The title is misleading. Going direct is the shit, esp. on HGs or when you have a limited amount of time. If you roll up on a girl and say, "Hey, you're cutie. We're gonna hang out. Give me your number." and she complies you're basically guaranteed a D2 since you got the number without any BT spikes, time investment, or the millions of other reasons girls flake. Ironically, the numbers you get in 15 seconds are more reliable than ones you pull sometimes in 30 minute sets. The whole frame of interaction is that 1.) you're interested, 2.) you're going to hang out. For her to buy into that frame (read: giving her number) means she's basically just committed herself to a D2.

HOWEVER, I realized the determent of this when I went on my D2 with HB9.5 Waitress. So, I simply texted her a few times (I deleted the texts, but they went something like this:)

TJ: You were too cute. I had to distract you for a second.

HB: ;-)

TJ: Call you tonite. We'll make plans for our cup of glorious coffee.

HB: Looking forward to it

Then I called, talked to her for 5 minutes. Immediately, I realized that I'm treading on thin ice. Usually when I call a girl, I immediately pump her BT with callback humor. What, when calling this girl, I had nothing. Of course, I was prepared for this and opened with a few BT-spiking stories. But still, this girl wasn't really getting into it. She was just like, "Oh cool" or "That's interesting" rather than the typical, "Hahahahahahaha" reactions I like to get. Not good.

But still, I set up the D2 and get ready to rock. So last week I had 2 other D2s, so I was all warmed up for HB9.5 Waitress on Wednesday. For starters, when she showed up I realized the fabled hotness of hired guns. This girl was no 9.5. I'd say an 8 at best. But still, hot.

Anyway, take her to the sushi place. While I usually frame it that I was going to eat there anyway and I'm simply letting the girl come, for whatever reason, it felt like we were on a date. So we sit down and start running through my D2 routines. But this girl was not laughing at anything or giving me much of a response. At one point, she was talking about buying a mattress from 1-800-MATTRES so I go, "Aw shit, I hope that left that S off for savings" and she just looked at me like I was retarded. So I'm like, "What?? You don't know those commercials?? Are you Amish? Do you churn butter??" And she says very matter-of-factly, "Um no." It wasn't just that we had no call-back humor and inside jokes, it was also I met a girl who simply didn't find my sense of humor funny and/or we weren't in an environment high energy enough for my style of flirting. Huge problem.

I ended up bouncing this girl to EVERY location in my D2. I ran every routine, tried every story, literally gave this girl everything I had as a PUA. And nothing. She didn't qualify herself to me. She didn't care about my open threads. She didn't touch her hair. She didn't give me any IOIs. And she obviously didn't comply when I tried to kiss her (about 3 times). Horrible! Ironically, this was completely related to my game, since it was my looks and confidence that got her on the D2 in the first place! Back at my apartment, we took a picture together and you can almost see in her face how disinterested she was:

If you ever see this girl, do not go direct game on her than take her on a low-energy D2!


Anyway, I realized I need to get another D2 structure for my direct game pulls. Tentatively, here's the new structure:

1.) Local gay bar for a drink - Gay bar is an AWESOME D2 spot (theoretically, I have to FT it) since 1.) super, high gay energy, 2.) totally socially proofed (guys will be hitting on me, NOT her), 3.) shows your comfortable with your sexuality, 4.) no guy would EVER take a girl to a gay bar for a "date"

2.) Ride on the NYC cable car to Roosevelt Island - Great because 1.) it's sort of romantic since you get this AMAZING view of the NYC skyline, 2.) lots of different places on RI that we go which will be great for establishing rapport, 3.) it's just cool in general for a lot of other reasons I don't feel like writing.

3.) Hookah bar or something else cheap I can do before bouncing her back to my apartment

Hopefully updates to come. As for now, let's just say my HB8 Waitress D2 ended up with her saying, "So we just totally didn't connect."

NEXT!

Albany FR (Part III)/D2 with HB10Frenchie

Alright, just like the re-donk-u-lousness of a girl un-flaking after 2 months, I will now FINALLY finish the Albany FR from two months ago. Okay, so if you guys read Part I and Part II you now know that I'm still in A3 with HB10Frenchie right as PUA Wanna Be rolls into my set and starts kinoing my target. Switching back into 3rd person...

HB10Frenchie: Ew! Who are you???

PUA Wanna Be: I'm friends with him! (points to the Judge)

The Judge: Uh, sure. Yeah, I've known this guy since like the '80s. (Judge realizes he doesn't even know PUA Wanna Be's real name)

PUA Wanna Be: Yeah man, cool! So what's up. How do you all know each other???

The Judge: Dude, they're like age-old bff's. She's the badass and she's the nice one. I'll keep my eye on this one (points to HB10Frenchie) and you get to know Teresa (tries to hand HB8Blondie off to PUA Wanna Be so I could continue sarging HB10Frenchie without any more interrupts)

(Quick Zack Morris time out here: I'm coming to a point in this FR where I want to voice a HUGE problem I have with a lot of PUAs I've sarged with (notice I'm using the verb sarge in the past tense because the minute one of these "PUAs" pulls one of these moves on me, I excommunicate them from my social circle). My problem is a lot of guys suffer from crippling AA, especially with super hot women (HB9+), and figure they can never approach a girl that hot. Then, they see a fairly average looking guy like me roll up on a redic hot girl, start running game and think, "Oh! That looks easy! Man! I can do that!" and then barge into my sets and try this weird variation of AMOGing. I see the same thing happen in all aspects of my life (for example, when I wrote for my school newspaper, I had a popular humor column which every dumbass with a stupid opinion on something tried to copy). HOWEVER, what these people don't realize is I MAKE IT LOOK EASY BECAUSE I'VE DONE IT A BIZILLION TIMES! I mean, I'm glad guys are getting inspired watching me, but since I'm taking the risk by approaching and I'm the one running game, THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO CUT INTO MY SET!!! I offered this guy a hot, blond 8 but he had to get greedy and try and take my 10 away...anyway, time in)

PUA Wanna Be: Yeah, I'm gonna go take this girl to dance. (Starts trying to pull HB10Frenchie away)

The Judge: Dude, stop being so grabby. I'm sick of grabby people, I just told these girls how I got molested by that fat girl...

PUA Wanna Be: (Stares at The Judge angrily, then turns to HB10Frenchie) Sooooo, if you could be anything you wanted – with no chance of failure what would you be?

HB8Blondie: Wait, he just asked us the SAME THING.

PUA Wanna Be: Ehhhh cool. Yo, we should all go to this pizza place across the street. Come on! Let's go! (Starts trying to pull HB10Frenchie again)

(Both HB's BT are sharply declining and they're girl coding each other with the "creeper vibe"...The Judge picks up on this and tries to salvage this PU by walking away with both numbers and playing the "Flake Lottery")

The Judge: Hey dude, you know, it's getting late. We should all roll out of here. Prada and I are gonna jump in a cab, come with us.

PUA Wanna Be: Uh, yeah sure. I'll meet you guys outside.

(Judge and Prada say goodbyes to girls and leave.)

And get this: That slimmy little fuck PUA Wanna Be stayed inside and continued to try and work HB10Frenchie! Not only that, he lied to her and told her I was "one of his best friends" and a ton of other bullshit he made up to DHV himself. When I woke up the next morning at DTM's, he was there and tried to kiss my ass and I basically laid it out for him that he's a creepy manipulator. I think an exact quote I dropped on him was: "You know, PUA seems extremely Machiavellian, however it's not. You don't understand that. And you also don't understand there are ethics involved in this. If you're ready to violate me by treating me like a means to end, I'd hate to see what you'd do a woman. You seem to know a lot of the lines and routines, but you should go back and reread the ethics of winging people, and, more importantly, how to GIVE value rather than just take it." He was all apologetic and shit (and I felt a little self-righteous preaching like that), but it had to be said.

Anyway, on Monday I sent HB10Frenchie a retarded text I didn't FT (very stupid move). I got no response. On Tuesday, I called her and left a voicemail. No call back. On Thursday, I called again, didn't pick up. On Saturday, I figure: Why not try calling HB8Blondie and get a jealousy plotline going, so I do that. HB8Blondie was more than happy to talk to me (I think she thought I was interested in her). Calling HB8Blondie had obvious benefits: I found out some information on HB10Frenchie (for example, she lied to me and told me she lived in NYC when she was actually just trying to move there...she was trying to DHV herself haha), I found out exactly what PUA Wanna Be said to them after I left and disassociated myself from him (I told them I was drunk when I said I was friends with him and he was actually a friend of a friend who's a "fan" of my relationship column...I used this to explain why he asked the same question as me. I claimed I write a column for men on relationships and these are questions I encourage men to ask women to get to know them better...chick crack fellas!), then I tried a ballsy move:

The Judge: Sooo, I think my friend Prada has a little crush on you...

HB8Blonde: Oh, he was cute. But I didn't really talk to him. I don't know...

The Judge: Here's what we should do. Me, you, Prada, and HB10Frenchie should all get together and do a little double-date action. It'd be like right out of 7th grade. We could all French at the same time like a little makeout party!

HB8Blondie: And wait. You'd be going with HB10Frenchie?

The Judge: Maybe, if she -

HB8Blondie: Yeah, I'll talk to HB10Frenchie about that. I gotta go. Bye! (click)

So, it doesn't take a PUA to read between those lines. And, to be honest, I felt somewhat hypocritical as not a week ago I preached to PUA Wanna Be about "not using people as a means to an end" yet I was simply using HB8Blondie to get HB10Frenchie to un-flake. So, at this point, I realized it doesn't pay to be greedy and I could still get HB8Blondie if I'm willing to forget HB10Frenchie (a choice I'm now regretting haha). So later the next week, I call up HB8Blondie and invite her down to Manhattan to spend the weekend with me. She tells me she wants to, but has finals but she'll "see". In passing, she also mentioned that HB10Frenchie had just found an apartment in Queens and is moving in on January 1st.

Ultimately, HB8Blondie flaked and I sort of just gave up with both of them. I filed them under the flake file and moved on. Then, on NYE, I sent out the typical mass-text to about 20 HBs in my phone. I threw HB10Frenchie and HB8Blondie in there for good measure. HB8Blondie's response didn't surprise me as much as HB10Frenchie's (keep in mind, this is the first time she even acknowledged my existence after the initial PU) . Even though her response was simply "thankx", I wrote back, "I'll call you later in the week" or some shit.

And, as a man of my word, later in the week I left her a voicemail inviting her to the Guggenheim with my pivot, Theory and Affection (read Affection's FR on the VA forum for an overview of what went down that night!). While she didn't call me back, I got a text back from to the effect of, "Thanks for the invite but it's my dad's bday. Goin home for the weekend". While it's flaky, it's still a response (as long as a HB9+ is responding, I'll keep trying). So I sent her a spattering of texts throughout the week. Some she responded to (mostly with shit-tests like, "what are u talking about?") and some she simply ignored. Since it becomes a game at that point and my ego is no longer on the line (if it ever is...), I'll pretty much write anything (I wish I saved some of the idiotic shit I wrote to her). Which brings us all the way up to MLK day in which this hall-of-fame text convo went down (I'm reposting it because I'm so proud):

The Judge: I guess this is it. Im moving out but wtf do we do about the cats? Fluffys mine.

HB10Frenchie: Ok why would u text that to me

The Judge: Cute...You know i like fiesty girls so here you are acting like one.

HB10Frenchie: Haha ok

The Judge: Haha...Are you finally moved into the city?

HB10Frenchie: Yea

The Judge: Welcome! monday is sushi night. i want to show u this amazing place...Are you free at 6?

HB10Frenchie: What is the name of the place? Where is it?

The Judge: (Sushi place) on (Blah street and blah ave.)

HB10Frenchie: Never heard of it

The Judge: Its delicious

HB10Frenchie: Did u just text me back? I deleted it by accident

The Judge: Ya...I said its delicious

(10 minutes pass)

The Judge: Ok i gotta run but tonite @ 6 ill meet u on (blah street and blah ave.)?

HB10Frenchie: Ok ill text u when it gets closer. Hopefully i dont get stuck at work

The Judge: Sounds good...And bring Fluffy


As I wrote in my last FR, I then went to Barnes and Nobles and PU'd a supermodel (who is a super flake as well)...although, we have been talking on the phone. Every night she tells me she's in "casting" until late and she wants to do dinner earlier because she's hungry. Anyway, here's another picture I took of me and her in B&N (I look like such a troll in this pic...also my camera phone make people look like 10X uglier than they really are):

So, keep in mind, it's MLK day, about 6 o'clock (HB10Frenchie texts me saying she'll be 15 minutes late) and I'm sitting across the table from a supermodel in a Barnes and Nobles having coffee. If you're me, do you leave and take a chance that HB10Frenchie is going to flake OR do you flake on HB10Frenchie and stay out with the supermodel?)

And, to give you an idea of the hotness and awesomeness of HB10Frenchie, I decide to roll the dice and leave to meet with HB10Frenchie. Oh, just some quick things I recently learned about gaming supermodels: I was talking with my PUA mentor Johnny Soporno and relating to him this little adventure (hilariously, he sent me a picture of him and a Dutch supermodel represented by the same agency as my sHB11) he told me NOT to use standard game on supermodels. They're impervious to negs (makes sense, it's not like a chick who's been on the cover of Elle is going to care if some schmuck in B&N tells her she's not living up to his standards lol) and the only thing you really have to do is talk to them, get rapport and not react to their beauty - either negatively or positively. It's funny because when I did this, I was getting awesome rapport and IOIs from her, but once my PUA-intuition kicked in and I was like, "Wait, this is too easy. Start running some game" she IOD'd me. (Perfect example, at one point I told her I hated her and she just looked at me angrily and demanded, "Why?" Anyway on that vein, I went about my RTC (real time constant) all wrong:

The Judge: Okay, sHB11, this has been fun but I seriously have to go.

sHB11: You're serious right now? You're really going to leave?

The Judge: I told you, I'm a busy guy. But don't worry, we'll have sushi sometime this week. You can either have Tuesday or Thursday. Those nights are the nights I'm free.

sHB11: What if I want Tuesday and Thursday?

The Judge: Well, that would be greedy but if you email me Tuesday morning like a good girl and you're really cool on Tuesday night. Then we just may have to go out Thursday, too...

Anyway, she didn't like that answer.

Oh well. So, now I run out of B&N, jump in a cab, command the guy to drive like an animal, jump out, and stand in front of the sushi place. After about 10 minutes, I realized it's super cold and I look like a total dueche standing outside (seriously lowering my value) but I don't want to go into the sushi place and wait if she's going to flake (keep in mind, I'm trying to establish social proof at this place). After the cold gets to me, I go inside, order a beer, and call my funniest friend to pump my state.

(Side note: This is a KEY move in a D2 I learned from Carlos Xuma's book. You don't want to be sitting there waiting like a little puppy dog for the HB to show up. You should always seem like you're in your own world and you're having a great time and that can be a part of it. But she's not defining it)

Anyway, as I'm laughing with my friend, I see HB10Frenchie crossing the street. At first, I was overjoyed that she wasn't flaking and looked super hot. But then, I saw the look on her face. It's the classic look I'm always scanning for when girls "girl code" each other: The "I-don't-want-to-be-here" look.

So, she walks in, I hang up with my friend, and give her a big hug. The minute she sits down, I launch right into the "grabby homeless guy" story. Since I've told this story probably 100+ times, I can practically tell it in autopilot; however this retelling was especially inspired. I was able to extend it for about 5 minutes and she kept jumping in and asking questions which I fielded with hilarious responses. I started to see her BL changing and her BT starting to rise so I stacked into my next routine: DLV PUA Wanna Be.

I posted on the VA forum how using AFC's to work for you is a VERY effective tactic (not only do girls find it hilarious but it also subcommunicates you're NOT one of those guys and you "get it"). This gambit was so good, I'm going to switch into scripted form:

The Judge: Okay, now you have to tell me. What happened with that guy after I left the club that night? He was like all slimmy and shit. What a Creepy McCreeperson!

HB10Frenchie: Ahahahaha...omg!! That guy was TERRIBLE! He kept grabbing me and trying to get me to go places with him!! But wait, isn't he like your best friend??

The Judge: (Goes into "Relationship Columnist" spiel and how the Creeper was a fan, not a friend)

This topic busted open a ton of potential threads, which I exploited (i.e. how clueless guys are, a recap of "girls are such sexual predators", a continued debate between "bitch boots" and "hooker boots"). Basically the next 15-25 minutes were all BT spiking and laughing. At this point, I started leaning back (in my "qualifying position) as she started leaning over the table. Her BL was really open at this point and I could tell she was really happy to be there (in stark contrast to when I saw on her on the street).

I knew it was time to start laying my "frame" groundwork. This is probably the most effective tactic I use on D2's (keep in mind, a girl will ONLY accept your frame if she's laughing and her BT is spiked). Here's how it goes down:

HB10Frenchie: (says something that makes The Judge laugh)

The Judge: That was cute. Okay, you're getting 2 points.

HB10Frenchie: Two points?? Huh??

The Judge: Yeah, congrats. Two points is good. I put all the girls I go out with on a points system. Get 15 points, I'll tell you my life story. Get 20 and I just might let you kiss me. But you better be a good kisser because nothing will make you lose more points than a gross kiss...

HB10Frenchie: Omg...I don't kiss guys on the first date.

The Judge: Well, I don't kiss girls on the first date who only have 2 points so you better keep me laughing.

HB10Frenchie: Hahahaha...oh my God! WHO are you?

This is a classic response. The whole points system is so corny and I feel sort of retarded bringing it up, but it's so absurdly effective, I can't resist doing it. Basically, the points system has 3 stages on a D2: 1.) Girl will react like "wtf?!?!?!" and won't buy into it (it's REALLY important you act like this doesn't bother you and that you know she'll eventually succumb..because she will); 2.) as she continues to enjoy herself and tells good qualifying stories, she'll start responding more favorably when you give her "points"...you'll notice she'll happily jump through your hoops to earn points; 3.) she'll start getting obsessed with how she's doing and constantly ask if she's losing/earning points, how many points she has, etc.

However, don't take this too far. I'd say I drop a point comment once every half an hour. Sometimes it's something really subtle, like she'll say something I like/don't like and I'll pretend I'm writing on my palm. When she asks, "What??" I'll say something like, "Just making a note in my points tally..." Then she'll ask, "Wait, did I get a point or lose one??" Where I'll just look at her and smile then stack into a story. This shit is one of the most effective tactics during D2's and will seriously help you calibrate your IOIs. For example, HB10Frenchie started saying things like:

HB10Frenchie: I don't know how to use chopsticks, am I going to lose points for that.

HB10Frenchie: I'm sort of nervous because I can tell you have really high standards. How am I doing?

One thing I want to note in this FR: When BH10Frenchie sat down, I looked at her and actually felt pangs of doubt and nervousness. While I've done this D2 countless times with tons of other girls (from Hb7's to HB9.5's), I looked at her - a girl who not only is a perfect 10 but also has her shit together, has an awesome job, etc. - and thought: "There is NO WAY a girl this hot and put together is going to be attracted to me. I probably just got lucky the night I PU'd her up and she's probably only here because she wants a free dinner." I knew this was my AFC voice talking, but for a few seconds I actually had serious doubts that a HB10 is actually going to believe I have these super high standards and I have an army of women lined up I could potentially be spending my time with (also keep in mind, I started this D2 in serious damage control since I'd texted her relentlessly and she had IOD'd me for 2 months).

HOWEVER, I thought to myself: WHAT IS THAT ATTITUDE GOING TO GET ME?

My AFC voice shutup and I went into game mode. (And really, no one knows what's going on inside my head. Often my wings or even HBs I've sarged have noted I seemed completely calm and confident in a situation when inside I was scared as shit; I simply know how to hide it.)

Okay, other than that this FR is pretty typical: We spent 2+ hours at the sushi place just having an amazing convo. Then we went to the supermarket and she picked me out a batch of stawberries (and, of course, I found her in aisle 1 contemplating the stawberries like it was the most important decision she was ever going to make). Then we went back to my apartment, she responded to all my chick crack. Because I knew I had the IOIs, when she was talking I pulled her into to me and initiated a makeout session, then pushed her away and took her to the white trash bar (which she was super excited to see). When I paraded her around my WT bar, I noticed every guy staring at her so when we sat down I started making out with her again just to keep the Wanna Be PUAs at bay. We had an awesome convo over beer then I walked her to a cab and she left (I could tell she wasn't ready for sex yet and if I suggested going back to my place, it would've just reeked of neediness and low value).

Anyway, one sad thing to note: When I was walking up to get a cab, the sole on my platform shoe snapped off (she surprisingly didn't notice!) so I had to retire my shinny platform shoes I've PU'd so many HBs in (most famously, the only other sHB11 I ever PU'd, the Miss USA girl).

My only problem now is I've been thinking about HB10Frenchie too much and afraid I'm coming down with one-itis. She texted me a few times since and I've been needlessly mean to her.

Aye, it's bad news when gamers get gamed. I need to get out and sarge...

Day Game Success and the Ultimate Anti-Flake!

Guys. Today might've been the greatest day ever for me in the field. And you guys are responsible. I broke through two monster sticking points and I have you guys to thank for it (as you'll see).

But first, wake up with me (not next to me, you're sleeping on my pullout couch).

I wake up at 9am which is late in Judge time. It's late because I usually get up at 6:15 on a Monday. But today's MLK day and MLK helped me score some major HBs today.

So, I stumble out of bed, flip my laptop open, and pull up Mehow's Get the Girl eBook. (http://www.scribd.com/doc/563178/mehow-get-the-girl). While I've never been a huge fan of Mehow, his book was the only piece of popular PUA literature I hadn't read yet, so I bit the bullet and read it.

And, I hate to admit it, but it's golden.

There's so much good stuff in there it's sickening. So, as I'm reading, I see a "text message" section where he claims there's 2 texts that will get even the most unresponsive girls to text you back. These texts are so outrageous I figure "why not try"? So I text HB9 Russian (from an unpublished FR) and HB10Frenchie (from the Albany FR), to FT them.

Okay, I'm going to contradict the fiction writer in me and ruin the suspense to ensure you guys cull all the goodness from this FR. To ruin the suspense, I got a response from HB10Frenchie. Not only did I get a response, but I just went on a D2 with her. Not only did I go on a D2 with her, I had a hardcore makeout session with her (no f-close though, breaking my recent 4 for 4 streak). Anyway, to give you some background: I met HB10Frenchie back in November! (Check out the Albany FR) and she gave me her number. The initial PU was good, but I did no comfort, no rapport. Nothing. I knew when I #-closed her it was probably gonna be a flake, but hoped for the best. After two unanswered and unreturned phone calls, I turned my game to texting. She didn't respond to the first 3 or 4 texts I sent until I sent her a generic "Happy New Year's" text (see my NYE FR) with simply a "thankx!". And, for the Judge, that's an IOI. So I texted her 3 times after NYE, which she shot down I think 2 and just didn't respond to 1. Hence, if you can't already connect the dots, suffice to say I had NO VALUE whatsoever from HB10Frenchie. No only did I have 0 value, I was in damage control for looking for totally needy. And then I read the Mehow text message. Here's the verbatim convo (minus the address of the sushi place) from my text marathon with her this morning at 11:19am

The Judge: I guess this is it. Im moving out but wtf do we do about the cats? Fluffys mine.
HB10Frenchie: Ok why would u text that to me

The Judge: Cute...You know i like fiesty girls so here you are acting like one.

HB10Frenchie: Haha ok

The Judge: Haha...Are you finally moved into the city?

HB10Frenchie: Yea

The Judge: Welcome! monday is sushi night. i want to show u this amazing place...Are you free at 6?

HB10Frenchie: What is the name of the place? Where is it?

The Judge: (Sushi place) on (Blah street and blah ave.)

HB10Frenchie: Never heard of it

The Judge: Its delicious

HB10Frenchie: Did u just text me back? I deleted it by accident

The Judge: Ya...I said its delicious

(10 minutes pass)

The Judge: Ok i gotta run but tonite @ 6 ill meet u on (blah street and blah ave.)?
HB10Frenchie: Ok ill text u when it gets closer. Hopefully i dont get stuck at work

The Judge: Sounds good...And bring Fluffy

Okay, that's the text convo VERBATIM. So, now, if you're me and you just had this text convo, what would you be thinking? FLAKE! Exactly. I don't take this too seriously and call up HB Jazz Singer to chill. She wants me to come to the West side and chill with her and her brother. While I'm assuming HB10Frenchie is going to flake, I'd prefer to stay on the East Side so I can at least SHOW UP at 6, even if I get flaked on (keep in mind the sushi place is a block from my apartment). HB Jazz Singer won't come to the East Side. I say cool and go to Barnes and Nobles to do some writing. While I pretended I was trying to get some writing done, we all know what I was really hoping for. If you don't, you haven't been reading this blog.

And then magic happened.

I swear to God, the events that unfolded could not have been more predictable than what I wrote about last time. Okay, so I roll into the huge B&N, try to get a seat in the coffee area so I can "write". Every seat is occupied, so I roll upstairs to the fiction section. For whatever reason, I end up in the humor section (???) reading an absurd book called, "God is a Woman" (????) and again berating myself for having AA during Day Game (there were decent HBs walking around). Suddenly I see a HB10 (perhaps even the fabled sHB11 I had hoped for) sit not 10 feet from me and peel open a sculpture book! Seeing this, I realize it's EXACTLY what I'd hoped for when I wrote that "Judge's Courtship" test.

She's everything you'd expect from a HB10/sHB11: Tall, thin, blond (runway model looking), dressed in a hip, New York fashionable way. She's got a face you'd expect to see on the cover of magazine.

So I sweat. I peer. I plan an attack. I realize I'm a pussy and can't approach (people were all around! WORST EXCUSE EVER!). So, I walk around a bit. I now see the HB10/sHB11 put the sculpture book back and looking over the "classics" section. I figure this is THE BEST TIME TO APPROACH. I've read more classics than anyone! I see she's picked up "Dracula"! I could just walk over and say, "Put that book down! It's EVIL!" but I don't.

I get so upset with myself, I run downstairs, push through the revolving door and plan on going home. I'm disgusted with myself. How can I call myself "The Judge" run this blog and retreat from a sHB11 when she's SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. That doesn't stop me. I start walking toward the Upper East Side. But, suddenly, when I'm about 2 blocks away from B&N I start thinking of emails I'd exchanged with Decibel. I think of the sets that I've seen Ga'ash effortlessly open. I think of Khaki and the way he's applied my advice to working out. I think of Posey and the solid comments he's made on this blog. I think of everyone who reads this blog and realize I'm a fucking failure if I don't stop, turn around, and open this sHB11.

So I stop. Hesitate. And turn.

Now I'm walking back to B&N and, man, I wish I could've seen a picture of my face at this point. Because I felt like John fucking Rambo. I had a mission and was ready to go down, guns blazing. So, I slam through the revolving doors and start walking in Terminator mode back to the upstairs section. I walk all over the fiction aisles, scanning for sHB11. No where.

I walk up and down the aisles and see nothing. Just fatties. Just dudes. No sHB11.

I think, "SEE ASSHOLE THIS IS WHY THEY HAVE THE 3 SECOND RULE!!!"

I give up and start to leave. Then I see her.

She's sitting in the "Bargain books" section (???) reading something. I stutter step and move. "JUST SAY ANYTHING" I repeat to myself, "ANYTHING!"

I walk past her and...
The Judge: Soooooo what's new in the b-b-b-b-bargain book section???

sHB11: Ah, I'm just writing a text message...I don't know.

The Judge: O-o-oh. Cool. You have an accent, don't you?

sHB11: Yes, I'm from Holland.

The Judge: (thinking she said she's from Poland starts speaking Polish)

sHB11: (Looks at Judge like he's crazy)

The Judge: (Sit down next to her, picks up random book with Fabio on the cover) Look at this guy (points to book), what's his story?

Then, the wierdest thing ever happened. I made really strong eye contact with her. (I heard this is KEY in day game). Like, literally, I started staring at her like she was my girlfriend right before I was going to make sweet love to her. And she returned my gaze. Then we just started talking totally normal. I don't even remember the threads of our convos, but I know I told her I was a writer and she told me she in the US for "work". At this point, it came out she was only 19 (!!!) and I finally realized she was from Holland, not Poland. We talked for about 10 minutes (the whole time some old granny was grilling me as if she'd seen ever episode of the Pick Up Artist and knew exactly what I was up to!) And, finally, noticing it was 5 o'clock said:

The Judge: Hey, I have a half hour before I have to go. But let's go now, I want to have a cup of coffee with you.

sHB11: (Considering) You only have a half hour?

The Judge: Half hour. I'm a busy guy. But I want to hear your story. Maybe I'll put you in my novel. And, plus, I might go to Amsterdam in the Spring. You can be my guide...


The sHB11 looked really troubled at that point. She starts telling me she has to go to "the FedEx before it closes". I'm like, "Dude, that shit is closed today. MLK day baby..." She says it's not and asks if I'll go with her. Because she looked really frantic and upset about it (she had to send keys to her apartment in Paris to her parents or some shit), I agreed. (Also, keep in mind, I was still sort of in shock this whole PU with sHB11 was so easy...I hadn't really run any form of game, just talked to her). So, we leave the B&N together and go to the FedEx place. While I really don't like to let girls lead me, I made sure to take control in the FedEx place (not in a dick-sort-of-way, but I spoke to the guy at the counter and made sure she'd be able to send her keys that day). The guys tells us two pieces of bad news: 1.) she has 10 minutes to fill out all the paperwork before FedEx closes, and 2.) It's going to cost $50 (she only had $5 on her). While the old AFC me wanted to offer to pay (she never asked or even hinted she wanted me to), I kept telling myself "NO!" and, before I could even put much more thought into it, she was on the phone with her roommates to come down the FedEx place.

Now, picture this situation: sHB11 is frantically filling out paperwork while I'm sitting off to the side like a d-bag. She kept turning to me and saying, "I'm so sorry about this!!" and she looked so frantic when she said it, I knew she meant it (IOI). I kept laughing and telling her not to worry. But I was worried. And you know why I was worried? I was worried because the minute 2 gorgeous sHB11s walked through the door (obviously her roommates), I realized I know NOTHING about this girl. I didn't know her name. I didn't know what she did. I was merely some "guy from Barnes and Nobles" (!!!). Awful!

The friends start giving her money and trying to calm her down. Once she shoes them away to hurriedly fillout the paperwork, I decided to just take the plunge:

The Judge: Hey, I'm The Judge. Who're you guys?

sHBs: Hi. We're sHB11's roommates... (both have accents...one English, one I don't know)

The Judge: Cool, what are you guys in the US for?

sHB: Same as sHB11. We're all Revlon models.

Honestly, how do I always end up picking up models? I was almost pissed at that point and felt like saying something like, "No, you're not. You're all a bunch of stockbrokers and you're just shitting me". Anyway, I think I won over the friends. And, surprisingly, they both complained to me that they haven't been out too much in Manhattan because they haven't met anyone (come on guys! Start approaching these sHB11s, they're waiting!!!)

So, finally my sHB11 gets everything done just in time and we roll out of the FedEx place. While I was waiting for her, I texted HB10Frenchie to 1.) figure out if she was going to flake, 2.) Figure out how much time I had to run a solid PU on sHB11. HB10Frenchie writes back she'll be at the sushi place (which is a 2 minute cab ride from B&N) at 6:15ish. It's now 5:45. That gives me 20-25 minutes to make my sHB11 PU solid.

So we get a cup of coffee (she actually insisted on paying!!) and she talked, I qualified. When I IOI'd her, her eyes literally lit up. I ran qualifying game for 20 minutes, thought we made a decent connection then n-closed her. Unbelievably this girl wanted ALL my contact info (i.e. my first and last name, email address, phone number, work number, a picture of me!). It was actually sort of creepy haha. Anyway, we made plans for tomorrow (tentatively). Wow, this FR is so long again. So I'll have to get into my awesome D2 with HB10Frenchie tomorrow. But, as you guys can guess, when she asked for my picture, I figured I'd take one with my cell phone. Let this motivate everyone in day game: IT'S EASIER THAN NIGHT GAME! GIRLS WANT TO MEET GUYS DURING THE DAY! You can approach a sHB11 Revlon Model during the day and stutter, run 0 game, and still have her jumping all over you BECAUSE YOU HAVE BALLS TO APPROACH! I learned this lesson the (almost) hard way today. Here's sHB11 (in the B&N cafe overlooking the NYC traffic!):

Tips on phone game and more

Someone from the VA boards PM’d me asking for some help on phone game and I figured I’d post my advice on here since phone game is one of the most important aspects of PUA. For me, I’m less interested in same night lays than I am with collecting 4 or 5 phone numbers (hoping that 1 or 2 of them lead to a solid D2). I have a fairly high percentage with converting solid phone numbers (meaning the girl answers the phone or calls me back…which doesn’t always happen!) into D2’s. Here’s my routine:

Phone game is simple: When you call her, treat her like one of your buddies.

The minute she gets on the phone, be really jokey and enthusiastic. For example, when I got HB Snowboarding Badass on the phone the other night (after we'd been playing phone tag for a few days) I opened with, "Fucking HB Snowboarding Badass! Awesome, it's you. Now I don't have to listen to your voicemail where you sound all cracked out. What's goin' on???" (Keep in mind, this girl has a good sense of humor...I wouldn't say shit like that to some of the other HBs I've called...)

After opening with something jokey, I immediately stack into a story about "something that happened" to me that day. It can be a real story, but I recommend using a canned story you know is funny (for example I usually use the story about getting grabbed by the dirty homeless guy or the “evil cat” routine…).

After that, HB should feel really comfortable talking to me since I've DHV'd myself by acting confident and funny, made her feel comfortable by carrying the weight of the convo for the first 2 minutes, and reminded her WHY she gave me her number in the first place (this is so key as most 8+ girls give their numbers to lots of guys but then flake them later because the guys are hopeless and needy on the phone).

From there, just ask her questions that qualify her but IOI her for good answers and lightly neg her for bad ones. Example:

The Judge: Oh man, I remember you’re into art, that's so cool. Who are your favorite artists??

HB: Cezanne, Picasso, and Rembrandt (tells story about why she likes them....story is interesting)

The Judge: Oh man, that is so awesome. You know, it's a good thing we met because I NEVER meet people like you. Most people think great artists are, like, the guy who draws Garfield comics but you get this stuff. I gotta admit, I'm impressed. But hold on, do you have a good taste in music, too?? What kind of music do you like?

Now lets say she gives a bad answer...classic bad answers are "Ummm...I don't know?? Like dance music I guess…" In this case, you have to LIGHTLY neg her and try and prod her to give a better answer (this is both for you and her as she'll feel a lot better if she thinks she's living up to your standards….which is part of my “theory” which I’m currently writing for you guys.) So here's my go-to neg.

The Judge: Dance music??? You guess??? What the fuckkkkk?? Dude, that's how my cousin answers questions and he's 7 years old! Oh man, I don't if this friendship is gonna work now. You're starting to scare me. You struck me as the type of girl who'd be into cool, indie rock bands. I could totally see you liking this band Wolf Parade. We're gonna have to have an intervention and I'm gonna burn you one of their CDs, introduce you to some good music...

See what I’m doing? I’m constantly setting the frame that I’m leading the interaction and she has to live up to my standards.

Oh, one last tip: Always smile when you're on the phone. I know it sounds stupid, but the HB will hear it in your voice. If it always sounds like you're having a good time, HBs will want in on that. Look in the mirror if you have to, but always keep a smile on your face when you talk on the phone...

Oh, and in terms of follow-up FR/LR, I f-closed HB Writer last night after the Christmas party. Quality stuff, with some twists. I’ll write up a LR on it if I get some time latter in the week, but for now I’ll say it really depended on A LOT of reframes. Perfect example:

(We’re in my apartment and she was cooking dinner for me as I was slumped back in a chair twirling a glass of red wine)

HB Writer: Ohhh look at you, Mr. Pimp. You have this gorgeous Italian girl cooking you dinner. You’re a lucky guy!!

The Judge: Haha, good one. I’ve had a gorgeous Italian girl cooking me dinner for the last 24 years of my life, but nice try though. (My mom’s Italian)

There were at least 4 or 5 situations like this where she tried to reframe our situation that I was lucky or I was chasing her (she told me stories about a couple guys I work with hitting on her or trying to hook up with her. Nice!) but I kept reframing or ignoring her. Later she said that really attracted her. Nice!

And, as for HB Snowboarding Badass, her behavior has been bordering on AFC. Chick texts, calls, and FB messages me all day! I mean, it’s cute but at the same time it makes me realize that these hot, badass chicks are really like little puppy dogs on the inside. If I qualify her or tell her she’s not living up to my standards, she gets really nervous and changes her tune. Here’s a picture of her from FB (Ga’ash might not recognize her because either a.) she’s wearing a blonde wig, or b.) she used to be a blonde) Regardless, I feel compelled to let you guys put a “face” with a “name”.

NYC Sarge: December 14

Just woke up and figured I’d write a “report” of sorts of the night Ga’ash and I had last night. One thing I really enjoy about sarging is the spectrum of behavior you see. The way girls and guys react to PUA behavior intrigues me enough that I want to write about it this morning. (I’m a little hung over and dehydrated so excuse my uninspired prose.)

First, I want to pause for a footnote on “aggressive” guys. (I don’t even want to call them AMOGs since acting needy and pulling a girl away from someone when they’re talking to people about the “hotness” of Mick Jagger or David Bowie isn’t alpha, it’s pathetic.) These guys piss me off not only for their insecurities, but also for their stupidity. Seriously, how stupid must you be if you know you’re needy and clingy to the point where you can’t stand the thought of your girlfriend or, more likely the case in most of sets we got “ejected” from, your girl friend (notice the space) talking another person, yet you bring her to an absurdly crowded bar in the busiest city on the planet! So a big FUCK YOU to all the guys who ripped their “girls” away from me and Ga’ash (often midsentence) for treating women like exclusive, private property as if we’re living in Iran or some shit. You guys are awesome!

With that out of the way, I’m going to omit specific examples of getting ripped from sets because of needy dudes and begin with the first set I of the evening I ran: work girl. I’ve been slowly and cautiously sarging this girl I work with and felt I made some progress Friday (almost proposed the instant date after work but reneged as you’ll see why). So this girl is probably around a 7 (not usually my type: Mediterranean looking, tall…loud!) but she’s won me over enough with her personality and writing ability (she’s a writer, too) that I’ve promoted her to a 7.5-8. Well, we take the train home together and after 3 months of not talking to her, 2 weeks ago I finally opened her and we’ve been vibing since (she usually opens me or seeks me out when we’re waiting for the train). So Friday, I’m listening to my iPod (actually a David D. program lol), she opens me and we start talking – not too flirty. When out train comes, she follows me to the car I’m walking towards (this, in terms of “train station sarging”, is an IOI because it’s very easy to just walk into another car). When we get on the train, I decide to run some devious push/pull maneuvers.

HB Writer: So, where do you want to seat?

The Judge: Sit? Who said we’re sitting together? I need to take a nap, get ready for my night to being. (I actually do like napping on Friday afternoons)

HB Writer: Oh… (She sounded legitimately hurt and I felt sort of bad lol)

So I sit down and she sits behind me and starts reading. I pretend to fall asleep (I was actually really trying but started thinking about ways I could contort the situation into an instant date once we got off the train which kept me awake.)

Enter bizarre behavior # 1 of the night. HB Writer’s phone rings and she picks it up. It seems to be one of her girl friends as she chats in a girly way for a few minutes then launches into this soliloquy about her “boyfriend” (keep in mind, she’s never ONCE mentioned a bf in front of me despite times where I baited her to tell me). Well, this soliloquy is not one this bf would like to hear….She starts rapping about how she tried to breakup with him midweek, how he’s a douche bag, blah blah blah. She definitely knew I could hear her since I was one fucking seat in front of her, so I have to guess she was either consciously or unconsciously letting me know her situation (but, since I was fake sleeping, I could pretend she never “directly” told me…us writers are so subtle!). Anyway, when we get close to Grand Central, I decide it’s time to be dominant so I grab her book from her.

HB Writer: Huh??

The Judge: Are you a worthy opponent. (Takes out pen and starts drawing in her book)

HB Writer: Wha?

The Judge: Are. You. A. Worthy opponent? (Hands book back to her with pen inside)

HB Writer: YES! AWESOME! (Sees I drew a tictactoe board in the book)

I was gonna use the tictactoe game to cede our instant date, claiming when I won she had to buy me a glass of wine at this wine bar that opened right near my apartment. But she won. Also, in the middle of the game her phone rang and she hurriedly told her friend she was on her way (they had dinner reservations) so I figured I wouldn’t go for the instant date (also, I wanted to get ready to hit the mean Manhattan streets with Ga’ash). Anyway, we played some more games, flirted some more, and departed. There were several highlights, but most notably I have this girl qualifying herself to me constantly and a recurring phrase she says to me (whenever I neg or IOD her) is, “Oh no! I don’t want you to think that of me!” We have an office Christmas party on Thursday where she’s told me she’s gonna get “totally bombed” so that’ll probably be where I move this “work sarge” to the next level. I’ll keep everyone updated…

Anyway, after I get all showered and peacocked out (Sidenote: the most effective piece of peacock gear I’ve found – and I’ve tried a few! – is simply wearing a loud necktie with a casual outfit. girls have opened me several times about my good fashion taste with the necktie), get a cab, pickup Ga’ash and we hit our favorite stomping ground: The Lower East Side. For those of you unfamiliar with Manhattan, the LES is the fucking OK Corral of pickup. (One night I want to just go and walk to streets as so many hotties are just out walking you don’t even have to go into a bar…)

Anyway, the minute we step out of the cab, a 3-set of Kentucky girls open us, asking for a good place to eat. Ga’ash sets the mood by negging them with “Ahhhh there’s a KFC down that way.” The girls try some flirty banter with us (and I think wanted us to invite them out with us), but Ga’ash and I move as PUAs on a mission: to f-close.

So we get into the bar and I inhale 3 beers (I don’t why…thirsty maybe?) and spot a solid set. It’s 3 girls who are sitting at a table by the bar and the one closest to us is by far the highest quality (HB 8). Ga’ash and I pretend we’re debating as we move towards the bar. Then, like a kid jumping into a cold pool, I just go for it:

The Judge: Okay, you. Real quick: Mick Jagger is he sexy or not sexy.

HB 8: Not sexy.

The Judge: I must disagree. That’s Mick fucking Jagger dude. Guy rocks.

HB 8: He’s not sexy but he’s got soul.

Ga’ash comes in and runs the set. It looks like things are going well for Ga’ash so I move to the two obstacles. I notice the one across the table is worth sarging (HB7) whereas the one closer to me is an ug. I open the ug.

The Judge: So it looks like our friends are getting along. Is she cool? Can I trust her with my friend?

Ug: (disinterested) She’s the best…

The Judge: If our friends are gonna be friends then we should –

HB 7: Ahhhhhhhhh, lets dance. (Grabs ug and pulls her to the dance floor)

This would seem like an IOD and I initially took it as one. However, it wasn’t. Enter bizarre behavior # 2 of the night. So I ejected with the “bathroom bail” and get in line for the stupid coed bathroom. As I’m waiting I suddenly I feel a hand moving over my chest, look over, and see it’s HB 7! She grabbed my tie and told me she “loves this”. (My theory: She wasn’t blowing me out when she pulled the ug on the dance floor, she was jealous!)

Anyway, I go to the bathroom, return and see Ga’ash has ejected from the set. We grab a table, happy with the auspicious beginning to the night and Ga’ash tells me about a new opener he wants to try: the text message. Since we’re always hitting loud venues and it’s hard to open near the dance floor, Ga’ash wrote himself a text that read: “hey ur cute. come and hang out with me and my friend.” The opener is simply to show the target the text and walk away. He tries it and it works! A 3-set opens. (The ug of the group had a husband and the husband came over, too…he wasn’t a bad guy.)

Anyway, we run a few more sets in this venue. Notably, I ran one set on a girl (I remember her name was Kimberly) who looked quality but I think she might’ve been heavy hipped (Ga’ash opened her friend and I simply pointed to Kimberly and told her to sit so I never got a good look at her bottom half lol). However, I got the most IOIs of the night from this girl as she sat across from me with the doggy dinner bowl face and let me qualify her anyway I wanted. Since she was being so good (she proposed we make out!), I IOI’d her with, “Your smile is pretty. I like it.” But she took this as a chance to try and flip the frame, replying, “I know. I use this smile to get whatever I want. I’m using it on you right now.” I threw my head back, laughed like a fucking Anime character (this may have been over the top by the way) and negged her, “What are you kidding me?” (mean? Probably…) Anyway, I should’ve n-closed this girl (there were plenty of opportunities), but didn’t. Oh well.

We venue change to a bar with tons of targets. Nice. Off the bat, Ga’ash gets into a hired gun set with the sexy coat check girl and I wing him with her sexy friend. The girl I start talking to is this skinny, badass looking chick but very sexy…HB 8 fo shiz. She’s got this weird piercing over her lip (like a Cindy Crawford mole but it’s a diamond or some shit) which is very alluring for some reason. At first, this set was going amazing (like I could add this to my PUA mix tape). I’m reframing all her stupid shit tests. I’m making her work for everything. In a word, I’m making this girl fall in love with me. In fact, she came up with the idea for a lock in prop and asked to wear one of my rings (I wear 5 lol). After a series of hoops (I made her tell me a few stories about when she got arrested, how she’s a semi-pro snowboarder, etc.), I let her wear it. I do the whole TD roll play where I look deep into her eyes and say, “I love you. Will you marry me.” Let the moment get intense and build almost to awkwardness until I turn to Ga’ash’s girl and say, “But wait! Can this girl cook? If you can’t cook, we’re getting a divorce lawyer…” She hits me, promises she can cook, blah blah blah.

I even used the lock in as an opportunity to n-close with her suggesting it.

The Judge: Oh shit, I just gave my ring to a complete badass. You told me how you got arrested you degenerate and now I’m trusting you with my ring?? Maybe I should take it back (HB Snowboarding Badass holds it against her chest)….how am I going to find you if you run off???

HB Snowboarding Badass: Take my number! We can hang out tomorrow!

Looks good right? So wrong. Well, HB Snowboarding Badass kept trying to DHV herself by telling me how she knows everyone at the bar and how she drinks for free, so I decide a.) I want a drink and b.) I’m the prize. So I send my little target off to get me a drink and wait (I don’t know why I didn’t open another set at this time…some hotty was AAing me with eye contact…probably from pre-selection…instead of opening I wrote a text to Theory lol). So twenty minutes go by and no HB Snowboarding Badass. I walk across the bar and see HB Snowboarding Badass getting gamed by the bartender. Fuck. I realize my blunder: Never send a girl who’s in state off to another player. Even though this loser is a bartender, he’s still socially proofed in the situation. I’m fucked. I try to walk behind the bar and get stopped by the bar back.

Fuck.

I point for my target to come over to me, but it looks try-hard and desperate (completely incongruous with the frame I originally sent). I use my ring as the pretext for reopening her (which was stupid by the way…and transparent). She now starts reversing the frame on me, telling me the bartender always makes her feel awesome by telling her how beautiful she is. Enter mistake number 2.

HB Snowboarding Badass: Do you think I’m beautiful, too?

The Judge: Pft! Look around toots. This is Manhattan, beautiful girls everywhere. Yeah you’re an attractive chick but I came back because you’re fun and interesting to talk –

HB Snowboarding Badass: Fucking asshole! Then leave! You don’t find me beautiful, what kind of answer is that?! Go find another beautiful girl in Manhattan then! (Gives me the finger…which is something she did to me for most of the rest of the night…)

The Judge: Awwww, look at this little temper tantrum. You were a bratty child, weren’t you?

HB Snowboarding Badass: Fuck you.

The Judge: Seriously, were you an only child?

HB Snowboarding Badass: No, I was the youngest. (Turning away from me)

The Judge: I can totally tell. Anyway, you know what I like about you: your nose. It gives you character. It’s sharp like mine…

HB Snowboarding Badass: (Turns back around, looks shocked) Really? People always tell me to get a nose job but I like it, too. That was so sweet.

This was the only time I was able to salvage the convo. I kept trying to get her away from the bar, but she kept digging in and saying ‘in a minute’. The more I tried, the more desperate I looked, and the I more I DLV’d myself. I have her number but this is sure to be a flake. I’ll keep everyone updated regardless.

Anyway, wow. This report has gotten longgggggggggggg. And this is only like 2a.m. of a night that went to 4:30! Damn, I also wanted to chalk two Asian blowouts onto my blooper reel. (Too funny to just gloss over, I need to detail them.)

Aye, there was so much more that happened. Oh! But I remembered to take a picture of one of the sets we ran. Below I’m posting 2 pictures I took on my camera phone of this 2-set we met on the street (we ended up buying Sparks with these girls and sneaking it into a Eurotrash bar with them). These girls were from England (they had the cutest accents…which Ga’ash and I abused them for) and I’d rate them HB8’s (maybe you guys would rate them higher or lower, but it gives you an idea of how I rate HBs). Anyway, I’ll detail what happened in this set but I merely n-closed the girl in the picture (also a little cheap kiss before I left, but it was pathetic). I’m guessing she’s going to flake as well, but she did insist on putting her number into my phone (I kept telling her no until she pulled my phone out of my hand!)

Comments? Feedback? This post is longggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg