The D2 Grab Bag

Hey guys.

As most of my posts usually start, my apologies for not posting in a few weeks. To be honest, I haven't been posting on VA or NYC Sarge. The reasons for this are complicated, but I'll say this: My game has been off the past weeks. I don't know why, but the pieces haven't been clicking like they usually are. I've been getting some unnecessary blowouts. My inner game has been off. I've even felt the cold sting of AA creep back up on me.

Funny thing is, I HAVE been going on D2s. I've actually had 3 D2s with 3 different girls for the last 3 weeks. However, those D2s have been 50/50. Some went well, others were disasters. My personal fav was a D2 that was going great then spiraled into awfulness. The girl was very cute (looked like Kerry from Sex in the City) and very interesting. I took her to a winebar and found the atmosphere perfect for the energy and vibe of the D2. Everything was looking good as she was slowly falling into my frame. Then, disaster struck (cue Jaws theme):

TJ: So I have 3 qualities I look for in a girl, if a girl doesn't have these 3 qualities then she's getting kicked to the curb.

HB Sex in the City: Noooooooooo!! What are they??

TJ: (Goes into 3 qualities routine, obviously only telling her 2. Flirty banter about how I'm not going to tell her the third, blah blah blah) HB SitC: Yeah, well I have 3 qualities I look for in a guy, too.

TJ: Cool. I love a girl with standards. What are your 3 qualities.

HB SitC: (Names 2 qualities I can't remember then...) And, I know it's going to sound weird, but I need a guy who's REALLY Republican. You know, like totally believes in that thinking.

TJ: BWAHAHAHAHA!! Republican!?!?!? Are you a 90-year-old white man???

HB SitC: Ahhhhhh stop!!! Hahahaha

TJ: No, seriously. The last person I met under the age of 60 who was a hardcore Republican was this nutjob I had to room with temporarily in college. This guy was out of his fucking mind!! Get this: He was a Born Again Christian...

HB SitC: (Probably looked offended...didn't really notice)

TJ: Yeah, he thought Darwinism was a myth!! What a loon. How do you not believe in Darwin??

HB SitC: Umm, because it IS a myth. I'm Born Again, too.

TJ: Oh....shit....

Talk about frame control! That threw me totally off guard! To be honest, I WAS being an asshole and probably deserved getting called out like that. Hilariously, the night before I was out with this artsy/literary chick and we totally bonded over the "Make Fun of TJ's Former Crazy Roommate" routine so I thought I'd FT it again. And, wow, talk about something blowing up in your face!

Okay, speaking of things blowing up in my face, let's get to the crux of this post: The D2 Grab Bag. Alright, I come up with all these funny Judgeisms to describe my adventures as a NYC Serial Dater. One term I like is "The D2 Grab Bag" to describe girls I run game on for 10 minutes, quickly take their number, follow up with on the phone, set up a D2, then realize, shortly prior to the D2, I don't even remember what they look like. This happens hilariously frequently, especially as my attraction game gets tighter.

Let me advise all you out there reading this: If you haven't experimented with this type of game, try it! It's a thrill akin to sky-diving or shark swimming...either it's totally awesome or you're going to get seriously maimed. Regardless, you NEVER know what's going to happen. (Usually, it'll lead to disappointment but who care??) Often if you thought a girl was 7 in a darkly-lit bar after a night of sarging, she'll probably turn out to be a 5.5 on the D2 (true story, total shocker).

But last night I saw the firsthand exception to this.

So, I PU'd this girl a few weeks back after a ROUGH night in the field. This was a final set that I opened simply because I had nothing better to do. We were at some crazy Latin dance club and I just wanted to crawl into my bed and go to sleep. All I remembered about this girl was she shit-tested me relentlessly. In fact, probably the only reason I took her number was I wanted to practice plowing through shit-tests.

So a few days later I'm going through my phone list and needed a few numbers to warm up on. I see this girls number, call her up, and immediately the shit-tests start again. When she answers, she immediately tried to get off the phone which I just spoke over her, got her laughing, and ran solid Judge-style phone game. Once I flipped this girl, she was like my laugh track on a sitcom. Everything I said, she thought was knee-slapper comedy. I got off the phone with her but made a mental note to call this girl whenever I needed to get in state.

So, for the new few weeks, whenever I needed to pump my state (or if I was just sitting at home bored), I'd call this girl up. And every time I said anything, this girl would pee her pants. Since this girl thought I was Jerry Seinfield, I thought 'Why not go on a D2 with her? If nothing else, I can practice some new routines' and set up a D2 (which was yesterday).

As I was taking the train home last night, I started to have SERIOUS doubts about meeting up with this HB Laugher. I was like, 'What the hell am doing? Why am I spending time with girls I'm not even interested in? Better yet, why am I spending time with girls I can't even remember???? wtf Judge??' In my mind, this was WORSE than a blind date because at least on a blind date the awkwardness is implicit.

Anyway, I considered flaking on her but realized I was too tired to go out and sarge (long, drama-filled D2 the night before) so I decided just to keep the plans. I told Hb Laugher to call when she was outside my apartment and I'd come down. When she got there and called, for some reason she said, "Oh, in case you forgot what I look like, I'll be wearing a yellow blouse blah blah blah."

Thank God she gave me that little tip because I would've never recognized her. When I got downstairs I saw a very hot HB8.5 waiting for me! I was like 'WTF! I thought this girl was like a 7 at best!'

I ended up taking her my new "summer D2" with amazing results. I'll detail some of my new routines and shit later, but for now I leave you with a pic of HB8.5 Laugher to inspire you all to get your hands in the D2 Grab Bag! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Peaks and Valleys

This entry is fairly self-reflective but hopefully will cover some inner game issues. Anyway, these past fews day I've been wrapping up Part 3 of my bio (it'll be up soon, promise Khaki!), reflecting on my PUA journey, and moping around work and my apartment due to some disappointing flakes by quality women...and I think I'm hitting (for me) the most difficult sticking point in PUA: End game.

I've worked my game up to the point where I can approach girls I'd deem "dream girls" (HB9+), not get blown out, get enough attraction to either k-close or n-close, not have them flake, run enough phone game to get them on the D2, get them on the D2 and either escalate sexually (i.e. making out) or complete f-close, but then they lose interest somewhere between the D2 and the next time I text/call them...

(Writing out that last paragraph I think I found my answer, but first I want to detail the thoughts going through my head today...)


Okay, I believe this is the hardest part of the game because it's emotionally soul-destroying. I guess a fitting metaphor for how I feel every time one of these girls flakes on me is if someone were to show you a brand new shinny red Corvette with a bow on it. Throw you the keys and say, "It's yours! ...but wait, first I want to teach you a lesson". Then, you step aside as they load in one of those crash test dummies and smash it into a wall. As you sit there in horror and shock, the guy says, "THAT was to teach you about safety. I'll bet you'll think twice next time you don't buckle up!" And, while you may have learned your lesson, you're still like, "wtf dude, that was a beautiful car and you wrecked it for a frivolous educational reason..."

It's not fun.

You see, every other stage of "the game" is just that A GAME. For example: approaching. I got good at approaching once I stopped taking it seriously. It became a fun activity to just walk up to some HB, say whatever might or might not work and get her reaction. There were certain rules I realized I had to follow if I wanted the approach to work (i.e. good BL, voice projection, projecting value/confidence, the 90/10 rule, etc.) and now I can consistently hook about 90% of the sets I open. As for the ones that blow me out still, I can always trace it back to a mistake I made (i.e. bad BL, weak voice projection, etc.)

Even A2/A3 became fun once I disassociated myself with outcome. Even though I may have hooked a HB9 or 10 and blown myself out in A2/A3 because of lack of attraction material, I still didn't feel shitty about it because A2/A3 is still a game with specific rules to follow. If I fucked up, it was because I was violating a rule and could usually pinpoint it and tweak my game.

However, for me, this metaphor of "the game" being "just a game" doesn't hold up during end game. While I taunt grounding/vulnerability stories while actively qualifying as the key to D2s, they're not really tactics. They're actually who I am. While they may be canned and scripted and FT'd, they're still all things that actually happened to me and I really am making myself vulnerable by telling them. I know this post reeks of emotional baggage and "wuss-ness" (and I'll be a little embarrassed next time I see Ga'ash...but he doesn't read long posts anyway haha...) but it's true. When I'm on a D2 with a 9, 10 or (in rare cases) an 11 and I start to quality her, get her to open up to me, start prodding at her insecurities and dreams and fears and passions, I genuinely feel we ARE making a connection...

Like, for me, it's an incredible feeling to sit across from a girl who previously was completely "out of my league", who wouldn't even have had a conversation with me (let alone go on a "date" with me) and watch her chase me and get nervous that I don't like her, laugh at all my jokes..even when they're not that funny. Sometimes I just sit back and watch these girls - who I'd always assumed were just "super hot bitches" - display their human emotions and fears for me. I know when I look into their eyes and see how human these "objects of beauty" really are, it makes me forget about the game, PUA, acting like "The Judge" and I simply see these girls as potential girlfriends, someone I could actually bring into my life as more than just HB10Frenchie or sHB11SuperModel or sHB11MissUSABeautyQueen or HB9Russian or HB9AsianModel. These girls suddenly become real to me and the possibility of them actually falling for me becomes real. (I know that was the sappiest bunch of crap you'd ever expect to read on a PUA blog...but I wrote it to try and describe how I feel...also, keep in mind I am a master of hiding my internal state so while all this is running through my head, my PUA game is unswerving and consistent...most of the time)

When the D2 ends and my state is pumped with possibility, I usually run to this blog and post my success and happiness (notice I almost always post a FR after one of these quality D2s). I usually have a hard time sleeping that night and roll through work the next day hardly able to concrete on anything but how awesome banging a model was or how amazing it was to make out with a girl who's a perfect 10...

Then, the other shoe drops.

For whatever reason, my newest sticking point has been AFTER the D2, and AFTER I've gotten quality IOIs, and AFTER I feel I've put it all the line and succeeded, these girls flake! Since it's a rare situation which most guys who get into PUA never face, there's not a huge demand for products that address this issue, so I'm pretty much in the dark about how to proceed (not that I should be running to PUA literature for every problem I hit). I even tried posting a problem I had with HB10Frenchie on the VA boards and got atrocious advice that definitely DID NOT WORK. (Also, I was FTing another experiment: I wanted to see if guys could actually give good advice based on a "situation" rather than just advice in general...what I found is guys can only give advice in general and specific situations are impossible to give advice on...but more on this later).

Anyway, while I know this is a sticking point I'll eventually figure out and break through, it's not as easy as learning to approach or learning to get attraction. This is literally learning how to make a girl you actually want as a potential life partner fall in love with you. Failing at this point is much harder because I'm not failing as "The Judge", I'm failing as "Bobby" (my real world name lol).

(Also, I don't mean to sound like a little bitch crying because some model pumped and dumped me...I know there are far worse situations to be dealing with and the fact I'm nailing and making out with these girls should plug up my tears, but I've been despondent all day and feel like putting myself out there because I love you guys and feel this is another aspect of the game we all go through.)

Anyway, I'm going to end this post and maybe even delete it when I get home (I hate rereading my non-fiction writing when I'm in a negative state...it's always trash whereas I write my most amazing fiction when I'm miserable.) but if this is helpful to anyone, let me know.

I feel a little better writing this, even if I'm still staring at the smoldering wreckage of a perfectly good Corvette that's supposed to teach me a lesson I still haven't learned....


...yet.