As the title suggests, I plan on writing a post structuring a fool-proof, 100 percent (so far) effective D2 that will end with a f-close every time. First, however, I intend on writing a few paragraphs on the "ethics" of f-closing on a 1st date (it's probably unnecessary since this is a PUA blog, however listing the reasons might help your frame and inner game). While this entire model fits into my "Master Theory", since I haven't even begun writing that and guys are emailing about D2 advice, I figured I'd write this up ASAP (if you can get a solid D2 than you probably don't need the specifics of the "Master Theory" to f-close, just use this structure and run standard game and you'll f-close). Although, in order to explain the how to approach the D2 (and the "Master Theory") I'm going to offer a metaphor that I believe describes how to view the structure of the D2 and "Master Theory". So, let's begin.
Ethics: As I said before, since we're all PUAs, there's no need for me to tell you that f-closing is your goal on this D2. Over the past few weeks, I perfected this D2 structure (and trust me, working this out was like the early NASA program...I had to sacrifice plenty of gorgeous girls like space monkeys and wreck all kinds of good approaches before I worked out all the kinks!). My PUA friends were all high-fives. My one natural friend (the lone surviving Crusader) was all high-fives. But my AFC friends (notably the ones in LTRs and ones who haven't been laid in a LONG time) started busting on me. Here was our interaction (notably on my birthday!):
(After asking about 3 dates I had in last week and finding out I f-closed all of them)AFCs: It's cool you're getting laid, but this Pick Up shit only works on sluts. I'd much rather find a girl who isn't willing to bang a guy on a first date. The fact you're out with these girls is scary. You're only attracting whores.
The Judge: Have you ever considered maybe the girls are completely normal, I've just gotten good at seducing them? Most of these girls wouldn't have banged me on a first date a few months ago, but I figured out how to do it.
AFCs: Nah dude, they're whores. See, this is why I don't do this whole Pick Up shit. I'd rather settle down with one good girl rather than have a harem of sluts like you.
The Judge: Yeah, it's such a painful existence. Anyway...
(stacks into something non-PU related since trying to explain this stuff to AFCs is impossible - it's simply not in their reality)Anyway, the reason you simply cannot explain PUA to AFCs is they buy into the "dating frame" hook, line, and sinker. And what does that do for you? It puts you into a female frame. It allows the woman to dictate all the terms of your relationship. Because she can use sex to make you jump through all her hoops, she'll happily withhold sex from the guy, make herself the prize, and use him for validation, entertainment, and free shit (ironically while constantly losing attraction for him). Eventually the guy will either become "just a friend" or a "boyfriend", but never will he be "sexy" or turn her on. When and if she eventually does have sex with him, it will (probably) be more from a feeling of debt than because she really wants to. I know, because I've been that guy before.
So what does a D2 f-close (or same night pull) get you? Aside from the obvious awesomeness, it actually allows you to have a REAL relationship with a woman. I know that sounds strange, but you'll only really get to know the kind of person she is once she knows you're on a equal playing field with her. No matter how much re-framing you do, until you have sex, she's still socially conditioned to at least subconsciously know she still has power over you (because of sex). More on this in the actual D2, but for now, just remember:
No matter if you're on a D2 with your future wife or some girl you just want to bone, having sex with her as soon as possibly is crucial. Let's list the reasons:
1.) Even if you never mention being exclusive, women don't want to have sex with lots of guys (with some exceptions) so even if she's letting you see other people, she'll voluntarily take herself out the game and flake off all the other guys who are interested in her.
2.) You're demonstrating you're a high value guy who knows what he wants and is used to getting it.
3.) You're getting laid.
4.) Girls want it just as bad - if not more - as guys and appreciate guys who can excite them without judgment or condescension.
I could probably list about a million more reasons, but I really don't think I need to convince a bunch of hetro guys why getting laid is important. In fact, all this is probably redundant (but I think it's necessary and you should really believe in all these points, not merely trick yourself into believing). But, just to wrap it up, this is NOT to say it's crucial. I'm not advocating rape or pressuring a girl into sex. The ideal D2 situation I'm outlining is where a girl will BEG YOU for sex. If she doesn't want to have sex with you on the D2 it means either 1.) she's into you, but not ready to have sex yet, 2.) she's not into you, 3.) she simply can't have sex on a first date (I don't know if these girls actually exist, but I'm sure they do). In any case, if she's resisting in a IOD way (and you should be well-calibrated enough to tell)
JUST DROP IT! Trying to pressure her into sex - or worse, forcing her - is not only completely unethical, but also incredibly needy and unattractive. If she's resisting, just say, "Okay, cool" and devise a game plan from there. But, as I said before, ideally this structure should never place you in that situation. So let's move on...
The Metaphor: Since getting into PUA, I've seen more bad metaphors for gaming than a junior high love poem. Seriously, my stomach cringes every time I hear "PUA is like..." However, I have 1 metaphor that fits my "Master Theory" paradigm and D2 structure perfectly that think is important for your success. So, to be a complete hypocrite: "PUA is like a game of pool."
What do I mean by that? Let's not be abstract. Let me paint a picture for you. When I was in high school, I used to go to track camp every summer. At the end of the week, we'd always have a pool tournament even though we all sucked at pool (our legs were so exhausted by Saturday we couldn't even stand long enough to play whiffle ball...). Anyway, every summer the track camp cook would destroy everyone in the tournament (he was a semi-pro pool shark). Systematically he'd beat every single one of us. But he wasn't a pool god: He'd make mistakes, he'd miss shots. But he'd
always win.
Why?
Because he moved with
purpose. I don't know how good you guys are at pool but I absolutely suck. I know nothing about it and simply take the most obvious shots or just hit the cue ball wildly, hoping it'll knock something in that'll help me. And this, to me, is how most AFCs and bad PUAs approach dating and pick up. They don't move with purpose. They don't see the angles. They merely fire wildly then get upset or angry when they miss or fuck up. The cook, on the other hand, can miss shots. He can fuck up. He can even stumble a bit. But, since he sees the bigger picture, since he knows he's playing against amateur opponents, since he
moves with purpose, he always wins. He never takes a wild shot that might accidently knock in the 8-ball because he doesn't have to. He knows he's going to win and simply enjoys the game.
And that idea of moving with purpose is how you need to approach these D2s. Judging from the emails I get, sometimes I think guys have this image of me that I'm this mPUA who re-frames everything, always has a witty story or great line, and knows what to do in every situation. That is definitely
not my reality (I'm not sure if that's even true of the best guru). If you saw me run a PU or on a D2, I make
plenty of mistakes. I'm a good storyteller but sometimes my stories BOMB. Sometimes I lose the frame. Sometimes I do something that's ridiculously needy or contradicts my congruency or is just downright stupid. In fact, it's not just sometimes but these things happen fairly regularly. However, since I'm always moving with purpose, I don't get hung up on it. For example, I remember once I told a 5-minute story about a bar pick up attempt my friends I once observed that I thought was hilarious. As I told this story in the most animated way, the HB didn't even crack a smile. When I got to my big punchline and she still just stared at me blankly, rather than say something needy like "Well, I guess you had to be there" or "How do you not find that funny? My friends and I think that shit is hysterical", instead, I pretended I was telling the story to illustrate a philosophical point. I ended on something like, "It's amazing how the typical man brain works. Like why do you think guys' reason like this? What goes through a woman's brain when these types of men approach you at bars?" You see what happened? I took a pool shot and fucked up. But, rather using my next shot to compensate for my fuck up, instead I purposefully assessed the situation and quickly found a new angle. The whole metaphor boils down to one of my cardinal rules of pick up:
Confidence (which sparks female attraction) is communicated less by how you act and more in how you react.
That's
why not reacting to AMOGs, passing shit tests, and re-framing HBs' statements spike attraction: You're not acting as much as you're reacting. Anyone can project a scripted performance (acting) but only a true high value PUA can react with confidence.
So, when you're on a D2 and something goes wrong or you feel you're bombing, just remember:
You're a PUA. You move with purpose. You're allowed fuck ups, just see the bigger picture. But, now, let's get to the D2...
The D2: Alright, I'm going to outline
MY D2, however don't feel you have to get locked into copying the EXACT locations or events. For example, where I bounce her back to my apartment after grocery shopping, you could bounce her back to your car or wherever else you plan to use as your sex location. Essentially, all you need to make this D2 to work is the underlining structure. The locations, activities, and times are completely arbitrary.
Location 1: The Attraction and Comfort phase: The first hour of your D2 should take place here. Ideally, you had her meet you at or near your place (despite what a lot of PUA literature advises, I find it's better not to invite the HB in right away. I usually have girls buzz my apartment and I come down). When you see her, give her a hug, exchange cliche pleasantries, then IMMEDIATELY stack into a story. Just like in phone game, taking the awkwardness of the first 2 minutes off the HB's shoulders is super important in preserving her comfort. For me, I use either the "Grabby Homeless Man" story or I improve a story about something that happened at work that day. For me, the sushi place is 2 blocks away and the story fills in the gap between my apartment and the sushi place.
Once we get to the sushi place and we sit down (By the way, if the hostess says sit where you like make sure YOU chose where you sit. In fact, if she starts sitting down somewhere say, "Sit over here, the view is better"...remember you made the plans, she's in YOUR reality). When the waitress comes over, I ask, "You like beer, right? A round of Sapporo." If she objects, fine (some girls won't drink beer), but most are fine with it. Once the waitress leaves, begin running attraction material.
Again, I'll cover this in the "Master Theory" but you should 10-20 canned stories about your life that you're ready to bust out during dinner. All these stories should communicate various aspects of your personality, where you've been, what you're interested in, what your friends are like, etc. LET HER INTO YOUR REALITY. Also, in between telling these stories, you should be constantly qualifying her and baiting her to tell you interesting things about herself. However, ALWAYS maintain a strong frame (the first half hour is where she's going to shit-test you and try and steal the frame...it's key you constantly remind yourself to act like a guy who has scores of women in his life and she's trying to win you over). Some of my favorite "D2 disqualifiers" are:
- "That was such a funny response. My little sister would say the same thing! In fact, you sort of remind of my little sis! That's so cute"
- "What happened to that nice, sweet girl I met at the bar? Who IS this person sitting across from me?"
- "Hmmmm...I don't know about you, I don't know if this friendship is going to work out..."
- "You know what, I don't care about that. Tell me about..."
Hold out your hand on the table palm up, and demand "Hand"
When she complies, inspect her hand, message it a little, run your nails over her palm, then push it away, "Man hands. It'd never work between us."
The key is constantly push/pull and qualify her. Usually after every neg or IOD I hit her with, I immediately stack into a funny story or something that won't let her respond to what I said. This creates a nice "roller coaster" effect, where she gets upset but then is laughing a few seconds later. Also, the way you should tell stories on your D2 is very animated:
SUCK HER INTO YOUR REALITY (can't stress that enough).
When the waitress comes to take your order, ORDER FOR BOTH OF YOU. I found ordering something to share is infinitely better than ordering 2 separate dishes. 1.) It'll save you money, 2.) It's a romantic thing, it'll trigger attraction switches in her brain, 3.) She'll eat less and be more in the mood to get naked than if she'd eaten a huge meal.
Throughout the meal, keep threading between DHV stories, qualifying and baiting statements, push/pull material, re-framing your the prize, and neutral topics. Again, I'll develop all this in the "Master Theory" but talking about neutral topics (general interest stuff) is just as important as telling her the hilarious DHV story about the time you went to Germany for a writing assignment. It allows some space for her to process her emotions and shows you're not trying too hard to entertain her. Some topics of general interest I like to talk about are 1.)
Monopoly (the board game), 2.) Gender-related issues, 3.) My idea for a Kevin McCallister home security system, 4.) That guy who found his true love on the New York subway. Get the ball rolling on these topics, spend about 3 minutes discussing them, then interrupt her mid-sentence and stack back into a qualifying question or a DHV story. Example:
HB: Oh my God? A Kevin McCallister home security system? Like from
Home Alone? That is too funny!
The Judge: Yo, I had my house burglarized when I was 8. They took a bunch of my shit and I never forgot that. If my dad had installed some swinging paint cans or left some micromachines by the stairs that shit would've never happened...
HB: Hahahaha, oh my God. How did they break into your house? Like did they -
The Judge: Wait, I don't want to talk about that anymore. Okay, if we were going to rob a house together how would we do it? And don't say something stupid or I'm gonna rat you out to the cops before our glorious life of crime even begins...
You've succeeded in phase 1 (which is really the only phase you have to do any real work in) if: 1.) You're in the restaurant for over an hour and she's not looking around or getting restless (also, you finished your meal but the waitress is not bringing the check that's a huge IOI as it's obvious to an outside observer that you and your "date" are having an awesome time and they don't want to interrupt); 2.) she's continually qualifying herself and when you neg her or IOD her she says, "Nooooooooo" or "Stop! Don't think that!"; 3.) She's telling you how funny/entertaining you are.
Oh, and one thing I left out. When she gives you a good answer or is IOIing you it's perfectly fine to give her an IOI, SOI, or compliment (just not on her looks). Here are some I found work great:
- "You know I'm glad we met. It's cool we got together like this. I'm having fun."
- "I love that about you! Nice, this friendship may work after all."
- "Okay, you're cool. High five."
- "Awww, are you nervous? Don't be nervous, you're doing fine so far. I liked when you were telling me about..."
- And my all-time favorite (reserved for girls I'm very interested in after they give me an awesome answer qualifying themself): "You know why this is awesome? Because I NEVER meet people like you. I mean, look around, this is Manhattan. There's so many people you could theoretically have sushi with a new person every night. But you know why I'd never do that? Because most people say a lot of shit but never get off their lazy asses and do it. And even more people go through life with no idea what they want or what they're passionate about. When I meet people who aren't like that, like you, I make sure to keep them around. So, we may just have to do this again sometime..."
One and half final points before I bounce you guys to the next location. Point 1: Toward the end of the date, start seeding and hyping 2 things: 1.) Your next location, 2.) Your long-term lock-in prop. The second point only applies to girls you actually want to see again. The first applies to girls you want to f-close. Okay, the next location should be a bar or coffee place, or somewhere that you can talk and get some kino going on. I usually play up the "ultimate white trash" bar down the block from my apartment. Since I make it sound really funny and describe it very vividly, HBs ALWAYS want me to take them there. As for the long-term lock-in prop, if you want to secure a D3 with this girl, start talking about a book or movie (that you own) that you are REALLY passionate about. For me, I usually over-hype my favorite book as this divine entity that if they don't read they'll be incomplete. I seed the sex location as well by saying, "Oh, you want to borrow it? Maybe. It's back at my apartment, if you're good I'll grab it for you later."
Alright, you get the point. Now, Point 1/2: I know all you PUAs are waiting to hear what I say about the check. Just pay it. Usually, HBs will pull out their purses when the check comes. Honestly, if I was really running low on cash and let them pay, I don't think it'd hurt me. However, (and maybe this is still an AFCism left over) I just feel better paying for the first date (also, when they pout about it, I say, "Okay, you can buy me a white trash beer at the white trash bar.")
Location 2: Demonstration of Non-neediness Phase: Phase 2 is simple, but implementing it is critical. So, as we're leaving the sushi place, she thinks we're headed to the white trash bar. Right as we walk out on the street, I go, "Oh shit. I need to pick up some things from the grocery store. Okay, you can come with me and we'll have a little adventure. Come on."
(holding out my arm). Once we enter the grocery store, I start walking toward aisle 2 and she always follows. Then I turn around, smile, and say, "Stop stalking me. Go to aisle 1 and pick me out a nice batch of strawberries. And seriously, if they suck, you're fired. Go!" And I playfully push her away.
I usually grab a few things and then come find her in aisle 1. It's funny because every girl I've done this to is always concentrating really hard on the strawberries as if they're life depends on picking the best batch (I take it as a huge IOI). This is a perfect chance to act all "loverly" and sneak up behind her, put your arms around her, and ask how she's doing. I usually like to smell her at compliment her on her perfume. Once she turns around smiling, I quickly push her away, "Come on, let's go. I'm thirsty for some white trash beer" and I walk away from her.
Location 3: Sparking the Sexual Tension: Now, since you have some groceries, you have a reason to bounce her back to your sex location. For me, this is my apartment. So, at this point, she feels really comfortable with me, is giving me tons of IOIs, and I'm starting to escalate my kino. When we get into my apartment, I start putting the groceries away and invite her to, "Look around". (Keep in mind, my apartment is decorated with all kinds of chick crack: From French foreign film posters to my original artwork on the walls to my guitar propped in the corner.) Girls always bombard me with tons of questions which I never answer. Instead, I put my finger over their lips, go "Shhhhhh", pull them into me and kiss them. Usually, the girls get really into it and we start having a little makeout session. I start kissing them a little on their neck and ears, and, once they start getting turned on (after about 2 minutes), I pull away and say, "Come on. White trash bar. I'm thirsty and want to see some mullets." Expect the girl's eyes to go really wide as if saying something like, "What the fuck?" because they've probably never had a guy walk away from them when they were ready to fool around. However, I'm hypothesizing that IF I simply started escalating sexually at this point, I may be able to get her naked and fool around but I doubt she'd bang me at that point. I feel by having the chance to fool around but walking away, you give her the final push she needs to overcome her ASD. When you're ready to pull her, you'll have created all the space you need for a D2 f-close.
Location 4: The foreplay Location: No, the name is deceiving, I don't actually advocate any genital stimulation - even if I did bill location 4 as the sex location. You don't need to do much at this point because the HB will be so turned on, you can literally say ANYTHING. At this point, she should be looking at you with the doggy dinner bowl face, agreeing with everything you're saying, and qualifying herself to you HARD. At this point, I usually just make her work a little harder and frame myself as the prize a few more times, just so she doesn't get buyer's remorse later on. However, two of the biggest traps/shit-tests usually surface at this point.
HB: You are such a player, aren't you?
HB: How many girls have you slept with?
If you answer either of those questions seriously, pack it in brother because you're not getting laid. Honestly, answering a question like "Describe your nastiest shit" would be more attractive than answering either of those questions. Usually I ignore it the first she asks. If she bring it up again, here's how I respond:
HB: You are such a player, admit it.
The Judge: (Smiles) Pa-lease, what would give you that impression?
HB: Because you're a smooth talker and -
The Judge: (Puts finger over her lips) Shhhhhh, I was just starting to really like you and then you went and ruined a moment.
(She'll shut up)HB: So tell me, how many girls have you slept with?
The Judge: Stop asking, I'm a virgin. You know that.
HB: SHUT UP!! Tell me!! How many? I'll bet it's like a million.
The Judge: A million? Oh my God, you're retarded. That's humanly impossible. Who would have the time to have sex with a million peo-
HB: Ahhhhh! Stop you know what I mean!
The Judge: Okay fine, since you're being so bratty about it, I'll tell you. Is that what you want? Fine. Hold on, let me know do some mental math here....
(holds up fingers as if counting) Are we counting just girls or guys and girls...wait, wait, and what about goats? Oh man, and there was that time in Vermont when I had that cow orgy..shit, this is gonna be a hard tally...
HB: Hahahaha, stop!
The Judge: You stop!
(Tickles her, starts making out in the bar) Okay,
enough with the white trash. I need some classiness. So here's what we're gonna do. I have to be up tomorrow early for work, but let's go back to my place and we'll have a glass of wine and I'll explain the picture/play you that song on the guitar/give you that book I was telling you about.
Location 5: Sex: At this point, it's on. The only final caveat I'll give is I've found the majority of girls I've brought back have said at one point, "We're not having sex though". This is probably the most hilarious statement in the female idiolect because, if she says that, you might as well put a condom on and put a stopwatch on it because you're having sex within the hour. In fact, I got so accustomed to hearing that (usually at the exact same spot, too: As we're climbing the stairs to my walk-up apartment), that on my last D2, I actually beat the HB to the punch and said to her, "Hey, we're not having sex tonight." HILARIOUS! She agreed and then later begged me for sex. I wouldn't recommend using that line the first time you try this D2 structure but try it after a few.
Anyway, I hope this helps and post your results on the blog!
