Saturday, May 3, 2008

The Khaki Update: Closing in on the end of the year

If you come here to read about pick-up artisty stuff, skip the first paragraph.

For those of you interested in my ongoing college-application saga: I took the SATs today and I feel like I killed them. I had enough time to do every single question TWICE on every section but the essay, so I should be in pretty good shape. These last couple of weeks have been some of the worst of my life school-wise, and I have APs all next week, but I have a short break this afternoon before I have to get back to hard-core French studying for Monday. Hopefully I'll be able to check in a bit more once I'm done with APs. Good to see you guys are still coming here, and hi to all the new people!

(Added for clarity: I'm a junior this year.)

So I never thought I would have any real "issues" with prom. 'Specially not since I got involved in the community. Oh was I wrong...

So I'm going to my last class of the day, and this UG4.5 comes up to me. I've got some pretty close mutual friends with her, and we're on pretty good terms, but this girl is NOT someone I'm very close to. And not only is she unattractive, but she's also just obnoxious. She's pretty smart, but not really someone I want to spend tons of time with. For the past couple of weeks, this girl had been coming up and joining conversations I was in. This didn't seem so out of the ordinary, since most of the time I was talking to mutual friends, and I just assumed her friends weren't around the rest of the time. She'd also been laughing at most things I said, but so do most people I don't really know that well, so I just attributed that to my new-found charisma. Needless to say, I wasn't looking for IOIs in this girl.

So I, and a bunch of other people, agree not to ask anybody to prom before May 1. Whatever. Our prom isn't until June 14.

So, on May 1, before I've asked anybody, this girl comes up to me, and like a total Average Frustrated Chick, starts off, "uh, Khaki, I was thinking... of going to prom and..." at this point, I just totally tuned her out. I knew where this was going, and it was trouble. I have a lot of mutual friends with this girl, and I know I don't have the hurt to totally crush her, so my mind races as I think of what to do. My frame literally melts because I realize that this girl doesn't have the self-esteem to take the kind of thing I would normally say. I actually can't think of a way to reject her without ruining her self-esteem. I have no experience with this kind of stuff, and I've never even thought about it before. Big mistake.

She finishes talking. Crap. I better reply.

Khaki: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... suuurre (I must have literally said the word "uh" for two full seconds)
4.5Obnoxious: Great! *scurries off*

Fuck. FUCK!! What's wrong with me? Did I really just agree to that? I literally bite my lip as soon as I say this, because even though I haven't thought through all of the ramifications yet, I realize that this bad, bad, bad. I go to the bathroom before class and punch the air in frustration. I sit through my last class, and then am FUMING the entire trip home. About half way there, I realize that not only can I not go to prom with anybody cool, and not only do I have to spend hours of my life with this chick, but, uh, she might think that I'm actually interested in her.

Thoughts start running through my head. She had to have known I wouldn't crush her self esteem. How could she have put me on the spot like that? How could SHE have asked ME on May 1? How could she not have realized that there was no reason I would ever, EVER be attracted to her? Suddenly I realize why HBs put up bitch shields.

The moral of the story is that everybody should have some sort of rejection that they're comfortable using on unattractive, low self-esteem girls. You never know what someone who has mutual friends with you or a coworker might do...

Also, if you guys have any idea how the fuck to fix this, I'm all ears. I'm gonna try to get an AFC friend to put the pressure on her to go with him, but I dunno if I can find someone who would actually do that, and I dunno if it'll work. Any other ideas?

Yich, I really screwed myself here.

Alright, peace guys.

6 comments:

I-Man said...

When she asked you, you should have said something like, "Awe, your such a cutie...but i have been trying to work up the nerve to ask HBwhatever for about 2 weeks!! but i am soooo nervous! Every time i think about walking up to her and asking my hands start sweating...blah blah"

Basically, if you tell her that you have already chosen someone else, your not really rejecting her...but you were already taken...kinda. And then if you tell the UG how nervous you get maybe she would even help you try to get the good lookin girl. Who knows. As for how to get out of your current situation? Your kinda fucked if you are good friends with her social circle.

But as always, just do what you want man. Who fuckin cares about the UG, do what makes you happy. I hate hurting girls feelings as much as the next...

What i would do. You can still take her to the prom, but make it crystal fucking clear that your only going as friends and that your going to dance with other people. Then you can game all the girls who went with guys they didn't want to go with. Trust me, there will be tons of AFC guys are gonna be out with good lookin girls that they dont know what to do with. Take advantage of the girls high BT on a night like that.

Haha, nice guys finish last...remember?

I-Man

Rob Judge said...

Haha, I-Man sort of summed up what you could do if this happens at your next prom. In this situation, you're sort of screwed. I know the prom seems like a huge deal right now, but ultimately it means nothing. When I was in high school, my 4 best friends vetoed the prom and I ended up going with a bunch of guys I hardly knew (or liked) with my girlfriend who I was broken up with a month later. I don't have any significant memories from my prom other than stealing someone's camera and taking a picture of someone taking a dump (true story).

To be honest, the only reason you should even be pissed about taking this UG is because it costs so much money. Also, she's going to be giving you the "I love you Khaki" eyes the whole time (lol). But I totally understand where you're coming from. When I was in high school I took at least 3 ugs to their proms (I went to an all-boy school so there was no girls to ask me to my prom YEAH!). I'm with you and I-Man, as much as I try and pretend I'm this badass heartbreaker, I still respect (too much?) other people's feelings. I guess if you're going to take the frame of a 10, it would've been fine to reject this girl (just think if some dork asked the hottest girl in school, she'd promptly shut him down).

If I were in your situation, I'd go with this skeezer but I'd act like the fucking man. Like I'd sit at the table, act the center of the attention, I'd grind up on all the other HBs. I'd be clawing people, parading them around and what not. Read my post about going into "celeb mode". You could use the fact you're going with an UG to your advantage. Almost like peacocking, you're showing everyone you don't give a FUCK what they think of you and you do what you want. (I know this sounds absurd, but if you think about it, it makes sense. See, most "normal" guys will try and play their luck so they end up going with the "highest value" girl they can possibly find and then take a picture with her and sit with her and bore the shit out of her. Khaki, on the other hand, doesn't give a fuck how he looks and knows he's the highest fucking value guy there so he doesn't even sweat who he goes with - he knows he's going to be making out with everyone else's dates.) I'd seriously go crazy with your avatar (maybe get one of those pimp walking canes or a top hat or something else that would make you look sick) then I'd just decide in advance I was going to have the time of my fucking life regardless who I'm going with or who's looking at me. I'd even try to bring this ug out of her shell. Do you know how fucking cool you'll look if you have this quiet, shy girl laughing at everyone you're saying as you spin her around and just act like the coolest fucking guy that's ever stepped foot into a prom? Let's break down the social hierarchy of dudes that go to proms:

1.) Loser guys who go with loser girls. They will sit there in their loser circles and only converse with each other.

2.) Somewhat loser guys who go with girls slightly higher value than them. These will be the total try-hard guys who will try and have everyone notice them but will reek of low value and chodeness.

3.) Somewhat cool guys who go with the "hot" girls. These will be the guys who would seem at the top of social hierarchy until they see...

4.) KHAKI - the guy who doesn't give a FUCK about who he goes with because he KNOWS he's the fucking man and is going to OWN his prom. This guy will be the one everyone else's prom date is lusting after.

Man, it's 10:15 in the morning (I'm home in my parent's house on LI) and I sort of want to go to your prom now lol

Rob Judge said...

Oh and congrats on your SATs by the way.

Cro said...

I think i-man and TJ summed it up, you also need to remember the golden rule of leave them better than you found them...it applies to every human being, so what if she's a UG, I'm not encouraging you to lay the girl, just leave her with some good memories of prom night.

Just my two cents

Hengman said...

This wasn't bad.

...in the butt!

Hehe.

Well, anyways. Congrats on SATs.

Khaki said...

First of all, thanks everybody for the suggestions and congratulations. For some reason I didn't even CONSIDER prom as a possible sarging venue, but what it makes a lot of sense that girls will be going with guys they're not interested in. I feel much better about this now.