The D2 Grab Bag

Hey guys.

As most of my posts usually start, my apologies for not posting in a few weeks. To be honest, I haven't been posting on VA or NYC Sarge. The reasons for this are complicated, but I'll say this: My game has been off the past weeks. I don't know why, but the pieces haven't been clicking like they usually are. I've been getting some unnecessary blowouts. My inner game has been off. I've even felt the cold sting of AA creep back up on me.

Funny thing is, I HAVE been going on D2s. I've actually had 3 D2s with 3 different girls for the last 3 weeks. However, those D2s have been 50/50. Some went well, others were disasters. My personal fav was a D2 that was going great then spiraled into awfulness. The girl was very cute (looked like Kerry from Sex in the City) and very interesting. I took her to a winebar and found the atmosphere perfect for the energy and vibe of the D2. Everything was looking good as she was slowly falling into my frame. Then, disaster struck (cue Jaws theme):

TJ: So I have 3 qualities I look for in a girl, if a girl doesn't have these 3 qualities then she's getting kicked to the curb.

HB Sex in the City: Noooooooooo!! What are they??

TJ: (Goes into 3 qualities routine, obviously only telling her 2. Flirty banter about how I'm not going to tell her the third, blah blah blah) HB SitC: Yeah, well I have 3 qualities I look for in a guy, too.

TJ: Cool. I love a girl with standards. What are your 3 qualities.

HB SitC: (Names 2 qualities I can't remember then...) And, I know it's going to sound weird, but I need a guy who's REALLY Republican. You know, like totally believes in that thinking.

TJ: BWAHAHAHAHA!! Republican!?!?!? Are you a 90-year-old white man???

HB SitC: Ahhhhhh stop!!! Hahahaha

TJ: No, seriously. The last person I met under the age of 60 who was a hardcore Republican was this nutjob I had to room with temporarily in college. This guy was out of his fucking mind!! Get this: He was a Born Again Christian...

HB SitC: (Probably looked offended...didn't really notice)

TJ: Yeah, he thought Darwinism was a myth!! What a loon. How do you not believe in Darwin??

HB SitC: Umm, because it IS a myth. I'm Born Again, too.

TJ: Oh....shit....

Talk about frame control! That threw me totally off guard! To be honest, I WAS being an asshole and probably deserved getting called out like that. Hilariously, the night before I was out with this artsy/literary chick and we totally bonded over the "Make Fun of TJ's Former Crazy Roommate" routine so I thought I'd FT it again. And, wow, talk about something blowing up in your face!

Okay, speaking of things blowing up in my face, let's get to the crux of this post: The D2 Grab Bag. Alright, I come up with all these funny Judgeisms to describe my adventures as a NYC Serial Dater. One term I like is "The D2 Grab Bag" to describe girls I run game on for 10 minutes, quickly take their number, follow up with on the phone, set up a D2, then realize, shortly prior to the D2, I don't even remember what they look like. This happens hilariously frequently, especially as my attraction game gets tighter.

Let me advise all you out there reading this: If you haven't experimented with this type of game, try it! It's a thrill akin to sky-diving or shark swimming...either it's totally awesome or you're going to get seriously maimed. Regardless, you NEVER know what's going to happen. (Usually, it'll lead to disappointment but who care??) Often if you thought a girl was 7 in a darkly-lit bar after a night of sarging, she'll probably turn out to be a 5.5 on the D2 (true story, total shocker).

But last night I saw the firsthand exception to this.

So, I PU'd this girl a few weeks back after a ROUGH night in the field. This was a final set that I opened simply because I had nothing better to do. We were at some crazy Latin dance club and I just wanted to crawl into my bed and go to sleep. All I remembered about this girl was she shit-tested me relentlessly. In fact, probably the only reason I took her number was I wanted to practice plowing through shit-tests.

So a few days later I'm going through my phone list and needed a few numbers to warm up on. I see this girls number, call her up, and immediately the shit-tests start again. When she answers, she immediately tried to get off the phone which I just spoke over her, got her laughing, and ran solid Judge-style phone game. Once I flipped this girl, she was like my laugh track on a sitcom. Everything I said, she thought was knee-slapper comedy. I got off the phone with her but made a mental note to call this girl whenever I needed to get in state.

So, for the new few weeks, whenever I needed to pump my state (or if I was just sitting at home bored), I'd call this girl up. And every time I said anything, this girl would pee her pants. Since this girl thought I was Jerry Seinfield, I thought 'Why not go on a D2 with her? If nothing else, I can practice some new routines' and set up a D2 (which was yesterday).

As I was taking the train home last night, I started to have SERIOUS doubts about meeting up with this HB Laugher. I was like, 'What the hell am doing? Why am I spending time with girls I'm not even interested in? Better yet, why am I spending time with girls I can't even remember???? wtf Judge??' In my mind, this was WORSE than a blind date because at least on a blind date the awkwardness is implicit.

Anyway, I considered flaking on her but realized I was too tired to go out and sarge (long, drama-filled D2 the night before) so I decided just to keep the plans. I told Hb Laugher to call when she was outside my apartment and I'd come down. When she got there and called, for some reason she said, "Oh, in case you forgot what I look like, I'll be wearing a yellow blouse blah blah blah."

Thank God she gave me that little tip because I would've never recognized her. When I got downstairs I saw a very hot HB8.5 waiting for me! I was like 'WTF! I thought this girl was like a 7 at best!'

I ended up taking her my new "summer D2" with amazing results. I'll detail some of my new routines and shit later, but for now I leave you with a pic of HB8.5 Laugher to inspire you all to get your hands in the D2 Grab Bag! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!