Hello everybody, I wanted to thank TJ for inviting me into this community. Reading through the posts I can see that this is a good strong haven for PUA's and their quest for personal advancement and I am certainly glad to be part of it. I am Shadow, I'm a 17 year old, 130 pound, 5'4" Canadian who just got involved in the community a moth ago when I read The Game.
I also would like to take this opportunity to state some of my goals, so that in the future I can look upon all the ways that I have changed. I have always been anti-social, I really dislike people once I get to know them but at the same time I love to meet new people. Thus, one of my goals is to become more of a social person, make more friends and go out more often. Another of my goals is to gain some more body mass through working out regularly. Another goal is to hook up with quality woman, I've never had a major problem with getting woman before, but hey were definitely not leaders of cheer team. Another is to get a better fashion sense, I am horrible with fashion and this will probably be the hardest of my goals. Lastly, I want to understand what type of woman I want to eventually settle down with. So to recap thats:
1. Be more social, make more friends, go out often
2. Work out regularly
3. Get quality women
4. Be more Fashionable
5. Obtain idea of soul mate qualities
I probably will have more later on, but thats it for now. Any advice or feedback is appreciated. But for now, its goodnight, thank you all.
-Shadow
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3 comments:
Hey Shadow -
This is a great first post.
You're focusing on all the right things. Learning good social skills and how to attract how quality women will allow you to figure out what you REALLY want in a woman. For all the people that hate on guys who lots of options (popularly defined as "playas"), they fail to look at the benefit of this. A guy who actively chooses a girl from many options will have chosen a girl for reasons other than "She was attracted to me". Most guys I know (even good looking, successful ones) who ignore this aspect of their life, end up settling for sub-par women because it was easier than getting this area of their life handled. A little secret I'll let you all in on: The only reason I got into this was to attract 1 high quality woman. And nothing's changed. When I meet the girl of my dreams, I'll have developed this skillset for her. But, developing this area of my life made me realize I can have very high standards. We all can. I don't have to deal with bullshit or supplicate or get upset anymore. I used to put up with an array of crap from girls (including my girlfriends) because I was too afraid of not having "a girl" in my life. Once you have lots of options, numbers, potential numbers, and other prospects (plus the knowledge that you can go out any night of the week and recruit new prospects), every (cute!) girl has a chance but no one girl has control.
This will help you emotionally in a lot of areas of your life. For example, I genuinely forgive my ex-gf of 5-years and feel complete closure with our relationship. My friends still bring her up and trash her and say how much they hate her, but I really don't care. They're usually like, "Yeah right! You still care! You can't date someone for 5 years than not care a little!" but really, when I think about her I realize I got needy and clingy and psychologically she couldn't be attracted to me anymore. Likewise, I realized I can attract women of higher value than her now anyway and no longer feel any pangs of regret or remorse. If I saw her out, I'd want to talk to her just because I'm honestly curious how she's doing. Developing this skill set DOES make you see everyone in a robotic way (i.e. scanning for their value, trying to present yourself as having higher social value, etc.) but I don't know what is necessary wrong with that. So what if you want to live your life like that. What's the alternative? You live guided by your "magic" emotions that you don't understand. You hate people without knowing why. You feel attracted to one person and repulsed by another and just accept it? Fuck that. To me, I'd much rather understand my emotions because when you understand your feelings at a CORE level you can chose to feel them or not. It's like approach anxiety. When you used to get it before you got into the community, you'd be like, "Oh shit. I'm really nervous and my body is telling me not to do this. I better just listen and not approach." Then you don't approach, you feel relieved you didn't embarrass yourself and you begin a vicious cycle of never approaching. HOWEVER, when you read WHY we get AA and that it's totally normal, you know UNDERSTAND your emotions and, even though you may feel them, you have the CHOICE whether you want to act on them or not. I still feel AA just as bad as I did when I approached my first set. The only difference now is I don't acknowledge it. And the same holds true for all my emotions. Sometimes I feel bitterly bad if I lose some HB or if some girl is flaking me off. However, once those emotions start flooding my system, I step back and say to myself, "Woah, why am I feeling like this?" I load up the evolutionary psychology program I've downloaded into my social robot brain (from reading tons of books on it) and examine the reasons behind my emotions. Ironically, you can't logically convince someone TO feel an emotion but you can logically convince someone NOT to feel an emotion. (For example, say a little kid is scared of the dark. If you logically explain (and show him) there's nothing to be scared of, that fear will subside).
Anyway, that was a little tangent (Judge-style).
About fashion. You can post pictures on here of your outfits and we can give you some feedback. I know Ga'ash is a sick dresser and knows a lot of good places to shop. I also have a tight budget but still manage to dress in a way that gets a lot of positive attention from quality women. (I'm sure other guys on here dress well, too.)
Hmmmm..that's pretty much all I got for you now.
Keep posting and welcome!!
Hey Man.
When i first got into pick up last summer, i thought it was all about picking up women. Hell no...
Learning these values and concepts will undoubtedly improve aspects of every human interaction you have. From family, to friends, and even work.
The game was an awesome book. The next thing you read doesnt matter so much...it depends what your looking for. The Venusian Arts Handbook (Mystery Method) breaks down the psychology very well. "Get The Girl" (Mehow) is hella simple and hella good.
You will soon find that there are literally thousands of books on pick up. Basically, you need to keep it simple and try not to get overwhelmed.
Looking forward to reading your Feild reports (FR). Im about to post one soon. Maybe ill do it now.
I-Man
Nice to have you, Shadow!
WOOT WOOT! Yeah!
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