Khaki said... I definitely understood what you wrote, and I much appreciate the advice, Judge, so I'd love more input if you have the time. The problem I think I have most with body language is what to do with my hands... sometimes they just "fall into place," but other times I'm totally aware of where they are and they always feel wrong. I think another problem I have is that I move too much, too fast, and too jerkily (my friends once nicknamed me "Kha Rapid Movements Ki"), but I think just chilling out, and having better inner game has at least somewhat helped me on that.
Okay, I'll try to elaborate on what I wrote in my comment. Basically, practice telling your stories with your hands (very subtly...like when you make a point, use a hand gesture to accentuate what you're saying). The key is to never seem like you're trying too hard or you're a performer, while always holding court by using your whole body to tell a story (for example, use your facial expressions to emote your story, use your hands to visually paint what your words are saying, and use your relaxed posture to imply the value you have as you're talking).
I actually found a picture someone took of me as I was telling a story to some HB (she's hard to see because some fat girl is blocking) Anyway, here's me telling a story next to my wing (Dave the Natural) at some cheesy NYC bar:
Okay, I'll try to elaborate on what I wrote in my comment. Basically, practice telling your stories with your hands (very subtly...like when you make a point, use a hand gesture to accentuate what you're saying). The key is to never seem like you're trying too hard or you're a performer, while always holding court by using your whole body to tell a story (for example, use your facial expressions to emote your story, use your hands to visually paint what your words are saying, and use your relaxed posture to imply the value you have as you're talking).
I actually found a picture someone took of me as I was telling a story to some HB (she's hard to see because some fat girl is blocking) Anyway, here's me telling a story next to my wing (Dave the Natural) at some cheesy NYC bar:
Notice how my elbow is resting on the table (it eases my inner state and makes sure my arm motions aren't too jerky) as I'm somewhat leaning back (my neck is propped a little too far forward but probably because I was emphasizing a point...in fact, I bet the words coming out of my mouth were "...BITCH BOOTS"). Also, this picture is incredibly unflattering because my facial expression is contorted to emote what I'm talking about. This is something I actually need to tone down (I've been consistently mistaken as "gay" the last couple weeks I've been out lol), but a little emotion helps draw people into your stories.
Also, if you're going to use your hands to speak, I'd recommend putting on some interesting rings (notice the rings on my fingers). It's a great trap as HBs will usually ask what they mean and why I'm wearing them. If you have a few stories to go with the rings, but are reluctant to tell them, you can have them jump through some early hoops while seeming mysterious and non-needy.
Finally, memorizing your stories and routines BEFORE you tell them will help with your jerky motions. If you can tell a story on autopilot, you won't have to think about what you're saying which will allow you to focus your attention on your non-verbals (i.e. BL, voice tone).
Let me know if this is clear...
Also, if you're going to use your hands to speak, I'd recommend putting on some interesting rings (notice the rings on my fingers). It's a great trap as HBs will usually ask what they mean and why I'm wearing them. If you have a few stories to go with the rings, but are reluctant to tell them, you can have them jump through some early hoops while seeming mysterious and non-needy.
Finally, memorizing your stories and routines BEFORE you tell them will help with your jerky motions. If you can tell a story on autopilot, you won't have to think about what you're saying which will allow you to focus your attention on your non-verbals (i.e. BL, voice tone).
Let me know if this is clear...
1 comment:
Definitely helpful, thanks. That makes so much sense. I feel like this comment should be longer, but I don't have much else to say.
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