Hey guys,
So I have been experiencing a problem lately. I am writing this after a hard night of sarging. I have been going out and opening sets. I have even been able to build attraction in these sets. However, I am having 2 problems. First, I am opening, everything seems to be going well then I am having trouble transitioning to the comfort phase. Also, if I do make it to the comfort phase it seems like everything just flops. I manage to get attraction, sometimes leading to comfort but once I get there I manage to get stuck in LJBF mode. WTF! I would really like some advice on how to effectively and efficiently move to comfort. And once I get there how do I get past that and move on to the seduction phase. I am driving myself NUTS trying to get past this sticking point. Is it just a matter of "pulling the trigger" or what? It sucks when you seem like you have been running a good set(s) all night then end up home alone at the end of it all.
Any advice you guys might be able to offer would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for all of your help so far. It has helped exponentially. But remember "Any road worth walking is almost never the easy one."
Thanks,
Xknowledge
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3 comments:
So answer these:
1. Are you isolating? Do you have a wing taking out the obstacles? Or are you trying to run comfort on an entire set? What you'd like to do is isolate, move the target, and spend 30+ minutes of quality comfort building.
2. Are you escalating kino? What kino routines are you using? Without kino, you're putting yourself into LJBF.
3. How much attraction vs comfort time are you doing? Keep attraction to under 10 minutes, and get into comfort ASAP.
4. What comfort routines are you using? TJ is the king of routines, and proly can help you come up with some killer material based on your life experiences.
5. How good are you at pumping buying temp? Without BT, sets go flaccid and you become another friend.
6. Are you introducing sexual topics into your convo? If you want a same night pull, you need to go there at some point.
Decibel scored with those questions, make sure you answer them. However here is one problem you may have.
I'm sure you have heard that when you go into comfort you are supposed to turn off the 'asshole' or shut down the 'cocky funny'. However this DOES NOT mean you turn off your high status behavior. As Mehow says you gotta keep the pimp hand strong always! Some guys i know thought comfort was all about showing their wussy side. This is not true.
Comfort is easy, just VIBE.
Mystery's question game kills! If you structure it right, by the end all you have to do is say, "i feel like i have known you forever"...This works sooo well with me. Just make sure you cover all the good stuff. Sex, Childhood embarrassment, ask "Tell me one thing you would not want you parents knowing."
Basically, use the question game to take them on the emotional roller coaster where the end platform is your bed.
Peace
Yeah, Decibel and I-Man make great points here. Make Decibel's questions into a checklist and write out answers to them (on this blog if you like). Also, I-Man said something I think is key, key, KEY: DON'T GO INTO WUSSY MODE DURING COMFORT. Your frame during comfort should be: "Hey, I'm a super cool guy but you're impressing me. I'm going to let you get to know me, and I'm going to get to know you. But, since I could be doing a million fun things right now, I'm going to have fun getting to know you and keep the vibe playful."
I've been seriously reducing my flake rate lately by learning how to transition into comfort smoothly and keep attraction going while in comfort. Since my attraction/flirting game is strong, I usually get girls laughing and vibing with me for a few minutes. (LOTS of kino) Usually the vibe is VERY playful, like we are totally busting each other's balls...then I'll say something like, "Shit, this relationship is NEVER gonna work. Our marriage in Vegas is OFF. But wait, hold up, maybe I can add you to my line-up of sugar mommas. What do you do?" When she answers (presupposing she gives a good answer), I'll say something like, "That's awesome." Usually because the vibe is sarcastic and playful, the girl will be like, "Yeah right." (as if I'm about to joke on her some more) but I'll look her in the eye and say, "No, seriously. That's fucking awesome. I love (whatever) kind of girls. You guys are the smart/creative/fun ones. Tell me how you got into that." See what I'm doing? I'm shifting gears and controlling the tone of the interaction. We were all flirty and vibing, but then, because I decided I want to know more about her, I shifted gears. From there, I usually start telling (funny) stories about my life and slowly build up to more and more personal information. The whole time though I'm weaving comfort stories with fun lines and snip its. For example, I'll talk about my grandma with this routine: "Oh shit. You're pretty cool. You might be cool enough to bring home to mom. But you're gonna have to keep winning points if you want to meet my grandma, because she's fucking AWESOME. Okay, get this. She's this little Italian woman. I call her nana. Okay, so nana basically looks like a little Italian Yoda. I take her out all the time because she's fucking hilarious. Her favorite thing to do is go to McDonalds and order the number 3 value meal BUT SHE NEVER EATS IT! She just sits there and tells me who she thinks is on high on crack! Which, by the way, is everyone. Wait wait, are you high on crack right now?! Yes you are! According to nana you're sooooo high right now. Wow, maybe I can't bring you to meet her." This routine accomplishes a couple things I'm sure you can pick up on. Ultimately, figure out the cardinal rule of pickup: Communicate your identity and personality quickly and confidently.
Decibel makes other keys points about setting up a sexual vibe. DON'T be afraid to let her know you're a sexual guy and that she's a potential sex partner for you. Most girls know that talking to them means you want to have sex with them, but if you don't communicate this, you're more likely to end up in the LJBF zone than anything else you do wrong. Some small "sexual hoops" I like to have girls jump though is 1.) taking their drink, asking what it is, then taking a sip from it. Throughout the conversation keep taking the drink out of her hands and drinking from it. 2.) Strong, strong, strong eye contact and kino. 3.) Telling her she's going to be my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes, telling her we're getting married in Vegas, telling her we're gonna fight all the time and have make up sex.
Medium-size sexual hoops are 1.) Rubbing her back in a sexual way under her shirt (because she's tense lol) 2.) Prolonged hand holding. 3.) Sitting VERY close with your legs mingled together. 4.) Talking about sex openly (without judgment or in a horny way). 5.) Kissing and/or making out.
Large sex hoops are pretty obvious: 1.) Rubbing genitals, 2.) Going back to your house/apartment/car. 3.) Sex
Get comfortable with escalating into comfort while keeping the vibe fun and leading her toward sex and this should cease to be a problem.
Good post.
PAX,
~TJ
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