The Enlightened Path to Attraction and Hooking: SP

Here’s an email someone sent me about a sticking point: I was hoping that you could help with a sticking point of mine in your next post. I have been opening consistently, but I have trouble transitioning from my opener to dhv. I am not big on using the over used community material (ie ring finger routine, best friends, cube, etc.), but if I have to I have to. I have noticed that when I do try to transition that is where my set goes stale. I appreciate any help you can give. Thanks.

This is a great question and I think it’s the “make or break” moment in most PUAs’ careers. I say this because – in what I’ve observed in my own plights and the plights of others –destroying AA and opening are reachable goals for most guys. I mean, I’m not selling anyone short: It takes balls and a willingness to do something 90 percent of other dudes are afraid of; however, all you’re really asking for is a conversation. You’re not presupposing any value. You’re not conveying you’re a prize. You’re simply saying, “Hey, I have a question. I’m not hitting on you, let’s talk.” While a great start, the real trick (and probably the hardest part of PUA) is the hook point. (Hence, why whenever I go sarging with someone and they beg me to tell them my opener, my response is always, “It’s not what I said; it’s what I said NEXT.”)

So let me explain a specific, FT’d way to demonstrate value and blow past this sticking point…

Okay, so I’m sure you guys all have openers that have worked for you. Personally, I try not to be a PUA parrot and repeat the same opener repeatedly, but there is a benefit to using the same opener multiple times: You can predict responses. You see, most “opinion” openers have a fixed set of responses. If you use an opener 10 times, you’ll probably hear them all. Let me demonstrate with a “Judge exclusive” opener that’s FT’d with great results.

The Judge: Guys, I need to borrow you for five point three seconds. Real quick, give me an ugly-sounding guy’s name. (Sometimes while I’m delivering the opener, I’ll pull out my cell phone)

This might be my new favorite opener because 1.) it doesn’t sound like anything from The Game or the VH1 show 2.) it’s a shotgun question that can be delivered in loud venues 3.) it’s very low committal and calls for immediate input which engages the set.

So, as long as that opener is delivered decently, the set will open with ONLY two responses: 1.) they’ll shoot a guy’s name at you immediately or 2.) they’ll think about it and then tell you a guy’s name.

Here’s how to respond: In situation 1, you bust on them for responding too quickly. For example, a few nights ago I had a girl scream “TREVOR!” in my face before I even finished talking. So I busted out a little playful neg:

The Judge: (Jaw drops in shock) Woah, easy there! That answer was just a little too fast! Let me guess, you had some lurid love affair with a guy named Trevor and now ‘he’s a complete jerk’ (all said in a playful way…the ‘complete jerk’ part is delivered in falsetto girl’s voice and I do some faux chick mannerisms like put my hand on my hip)

The girls will start cracking up and scream, “No, no!” which you can then bust on them further like, “Haha, OH MY GOD. Did I just wander onto the set of “The View”? You guys are a feisty bunch, aren’t you?”

Ect, ect.

Situation 2: Sometimes girls will be so surprised by your approach, they’ll think about it. This is less common than the first situation, but happens about 30 percent of the time. Regardless, you bust on them for taking too long to respond. Here’s how:

The Judge: OH NO, this girl is running through every guy she HATES and trying to narrow down whose name she’s going to give me. Dude, why are soo hostile toward men?? We’re not all evil…

Again, usually this will elicit chuckles and hilarity which you vibe on…

Additionally, after their response you can do a little “best friend” test variation and drop some group cold reads on them. For example:

The Judge: Oh my God, you totally looked at each other before you answered. Uh oh, some girl coding action going on here. You guys must be bffs!

The Judge: Oh my God, this girl totally is waiting for this girl to answer. This one must be the boss of the group. Respect, Alpha female (pounds the ‘boss’). You’re an Amazon.

Or simply:

The Judge: Oh my God, you guys are RETARDED. My name’s Igor and my mom says it’s a pretty name…

Whatever. You get the point. Basically the structure is 1.) open 2.) start dominating social group without completely stealing the spotlight…yet.

Once you’ve vibed a bit and you’re raising their buying temperature, you’re in a position to either a.) keep vibing and run small routines (good for loud venues) or b.) social peacock with a story that’ll put you in the spotlight.

As you guys can probably guess, I usually opt for option b, however don’t presuppose this is the best plan of action. In fact, I’ve blown myself out of sets that were going well because I wanted to launch into a story TOO MUCH and my voice and BL communicated that making me seem like the try-hard guy (aka not the prize). So do what feels comfortable at this point, but this is usually at least a good point to explain why you’re asking (and, if you pulled your cell phone out when you delivered your opener, it’s a good chance to explain why).

So, with option a, just say something simple,

The Judge: Okay, cool. So you think an ugly guy’s name is Trevor? Alright, I have to call my friend Dan in a second because he gave his number to some awkward girl he met at a bar the other night and she keeps calling him. So, he figures if he tells her his name is something ugly-sounding like Trevor maybe she’ll leave him alone. Hey, have you guys ever flaked a guy off? What did you do? Maybe I’ll tell my friend – which by the way, I have to call him in a second. I can’t bear to think that he’s waiting by the phone for an ugly-sounding guy name and this beast can call at any minute and use her powers of awkwardness to get him on a date!

While this might sound retarded, look at the DHVs in there: 1.) the FTC “I have to call my friend in a second” 2.) you understand flaking (most guys take it personal, you’re showing you don’t give a shit…in fact, think it’s funny) 3.) care about your friends 4.) baiting them to tell a story that’s a DHV for them (so it looks like they’re qualifying themselves to you, nice!).

Option B, is the social peacock where I bust out my FAVORITE SP story of all time. This little anecdote, if told properly, will get you rockstar value (I’ll leave it to you to tweak the details to make if congruent to you…also, this story can also be told from the first person, which it usually is. I’ve only recently modified it for this approach structure).

The Judge: Okay, cool. So you think an ugly guy’s name is Trevor? Alright, I have to call my friend Dan in a second because he gave his number to some awkwardly creepy chick he met at a bar the other night and she keeps calling him. Okay, I gotta call him in a second because I can’t bear to think that he’s waiting by the phone for an ugly-sounding guy name while this beast can call at any second…but I’ll tell you the story real quick. Because it’s pretty hilarious…

(At this point, make sure you have everyone’s attention and the set is waiting to hear the story but you should have enough value to make that happen...)

Okay, so my friend Dan goes to Notre Dame Law School and he’s out with a law school buddy and two lady friends and they’re all hanging out, enjoying the magic of two-for-one domestic drafts. It was ‘80s night so I’d imagine everyone is all duded up, rocking to Journey…you know, no one’s stopped believing. So it sounds like all the elements of a good night are in place. Well, the girls went and wandered off to dance with each other, and my friend goes to order another round. As he turns to face the dance floor, he sees this chick – like, the way he described her sounded like if Tony the Tiger was an overweight chick, this is what he’d look like. Okay, he said she had this fizzy-perm hair thing going on and this huge “They’reeeeeeeee great” grin on her stupid face. So Tony is like muscling her way through the crowd, just clawing people to get by. And my friend makes unfortunate eye contact with her…and…well…Dan said he saw it in her eyes…she’s making a beeline for him! Of course, he started making contingency plans to stop this impending tragedy. But no such luck. Before he can use our patented ‘bathroom bail’ – I totally taught him that one – this Tony the Tiger chick has one hand on his back, telling him – not asking – TELLING him they’re gonna dance. Well. He pries her hand off like a dead starfish, sort of like this…one finger at a time. And, maybe it was the general atmosphere, but Dan told me it seemed like this chick had eight fucking arms because whenever he pealed one hand off his back – or, at that point, off his ass…she was very forward – it felt like two more hands took its place. To make a long story short, out of sheer awkwardness, he gave this chick his number…and now we’re all in this predicament together. Me, you guys, Dan, Tony the Tiger: It must be fate. But ANYWAY, if there’s a moral to this story – which there’s not – but IT THERE WERE it would be that girls are complete sexual predators!

Boom. Social hook, value, and attraction. Also, bonus points: Reverse the “guys-chase-girls” frame to “girls-chase-guys” frame. Stack to TD’s sexual predator routine and you’ve solidified yourself as THE PRIZE.

Let me know if you want more of this structure, but I think you guys can take it from there.

Basically, the play-at-home version of all this is as follows:

1.) Get an opener, FT it about 10 times. (Record or remember all the responses)

2.) Figure out clever comebacks to every response but don’t make it seem try hard. Be somewhat spontaneous while cocky and funny.

3.) Cold read the group, display dominance over her social circle.

4.) Vibe and either keep vibing with FTCs and take-aways thrown in during attraction spikes OR social peacock with the fabled “Tony the Tiger” story.

Comments or more questions/sticking points welcome.

What's to Come...

Aye, after some disappointing nights in the field, I’ve been regrouping and reconfiguring my approach/avatar. I feel like I’m on the verge of a break through in my game, I just need one last push. I’m at the point where I don’t feel like I can learn much more from PUA literature; I simply need to refine what I know and start mercilessly applying it in the field.

Sooo here’s what I’m thinking:

I keep a “journal” of sorts on my computer where I outline every piece of PU-related reading material I get my hands on. I’m a compulsive nerd who deconstructs everything and rearranges the pieces how I see fit. It’s a habit I picked up in graduate school.

Anyway, I plan on reorganizing and rewriting my “journal” and creating two parts: theory and application. Theory will include everything I’ve read, learned, field-tested, and believe works. Application will include every canned routine, opener, DHV-story, etc. I’ve plagiarized or written, found or created.

I hope this little exercise will focus my goals/attention and perhaps be useful to someone (or everyone) in this little community. Look for it mid- to end week.

In the meantime, I have plenty of writing to get done…

~TJ

Social Conditioning: Escalate without Resistance

Caveat: This is an important article I only want to share with this community because I think it’s a key aspect to PUA and is only touched upon by MM and other literature. Basically this article will guide you at every stage of your PU – from the approach to sex – however it’s theoretical and incorporates some ideas I researched in a graduate class on gender identity. I’ll try to write it as clearly as possible but if something’s unclear, PLEASE POST A COMMENT. The worst thing you can do is misunderstand this article – it will actually hurt you; however, by understanding this “secret” I’ve been noticing/FTing, you’ll improve your game exponentially…

Women want to enjoy their sexuality like guys. It’s simple. It’s true. It’s almost cliché. While I always half-heartedly believed this, I couldn’t completely accept it because I never witnessed it consistently. I’ve never seen any desirable girl clawing at a guy (like a creepy dude) or talking as bluntly about sex like us guys. I’ve observed female behavior that came close, but never anything that approached the antics of even an AVERAGE dude. Why?

Social conditioning.

If you want to understand a society, examine its language. What are the first words that come to mind if you're insulting a girl: slut, whore, bitch, skank, cunt, dyke, etc. Notice almost all those words are pejorative terms for a woman’s sexuality. How many words in our language regulate a man’s sexuality? Man-whore (I have a friend who flaunts that title), pimp (a compliment), player (again, awesome), gigolo (still, pretty awesome), and then about a zillion words to call a guy gay: homo, fag, queer, fairy (all encouraging guys to FUCK women). While women are exploited by the media FOR their sexuality (think about advertising), they’re simultaneously regulated by society not to ACT on that sexuality.

Hence the invention of the cock-tease, the Anti-Slut Defense, the Bitch Shield, among all the other defenses women have derived either consciously or unconsciously, as a group or as an individual, to thwart any attempt to denigrate their image – even if they’re the only one who knows.

Most men never consider this paradox. Most men decide all women are either “sluts” or “prudes” and then act accordingly. However, us PUAs – for better or worse – need to consider this problem and solve it.

And I think I have.

The first step is acknowledging the reality of this paradox: don’t view women as sluts, don’t view women as prudes. They’re constantly fighting an internal struggle between wanting to act on their sexuality, while fearing society’s condemnation. Respect this, understand this…in fact, empathize with this. Let’s go in-field and demonstrate this with an opener.

If you open direct and make your intentions explicit (i.e. “Hey, you’re cute. Lets talk”), even if the set opens, in the back of the girl’s mind she’s haunted by how she looks/will look to her friends/herself. You’re a stranger at a bar who’s used an obvious pick up line to pick her up. She can’t rationalize that. Any girl knows getting “picked up” at a bar is cheesy (girls I’ve picked up at bars will tell me how pathetic girls who respond to pick up lines are!). Using a “pick up” line, whether everyone knows or just the girl knows, has established a sexual relationship: You’re the “picker” and she’s the “picked”.

HOWEVER, if you indirect open and simply seem social (i.e. “Yo, I need to your help for a second…”), in the back of the girl’s mind you’re just having a conversation. She may know damn well what your intentions are (in fact, I believe most girls consciously know what the deal is), although she can still rationalize to herself and to her friends, ‘This guy is only looking for an opinion/a conversation’. You’re still a stranger, but you’re not blatantly picking her up. The relationship shifts from “picker” and “picked” to more neutral terms: Two people talking about an issue.

Note: As I mentioned before, girls WANT to get picked up (or else why else would they be out at a bar), but they DON’T want to FEEL, THINK, or LOOK like they’re getting picked up. By understanding this and going indirect, you win her respect because either unconsciously, or, in more cases, consciously, she realizes that you understand this, respect this, and are finding a way to sidestep the traditional “pick up” routine almost every other guy tries.

I know this isn’t shockingly new to anyone unless you really consider what I’m saying. Apply this to every stage of a pickup. Every sexual escalation should be cloaked with this theory. Let’s hit the field for another example: after the opener, you want to escalate some kino.

I’ve gotten resistance – even when the girl is IOIing me – when I say to a girl, “Here, give me your hands.” At the very least, the girl will sheepishly hold her hands in front of herself and say, “Why?” This response is her baiting me to give her a REASON so she can justify holding hands with a complete stranger. However, it should never come to this. I should give her a reason up front why she’s “allowed” to give her hands to me. For example, “Here, give me your hands. I want to give you a test.” I’ve never had a girl say no to this. Even though it’s against social norms for a girl to hold hands with a guy she’s known for 2 minutes, she can justify it to herself or anyone else because it was a “test”.

Of course, this is complete bullshit. And she knows it. And she knows you know it. And this will excite her because you’re hinting that you can allow her to explore her sexuality freely – without judgment or condemnation – by providing “logical” reasons for her to escalate.

Now that I’ve demonstrated a few points, I want to pause for a moment to explain why women don’t act like unrestrained men when they know there will be no social repercussions (for example, if you meet a stranger on vacation, why can’t you just say ‘Lets have sex and then never see each other again’). According to social logic, that PU line should work almost 100 percent of the time (presupposing you're fairly attractive); however, I’ve NEVER heard of any first-hand stories if this EVER happening. Why? Because the “social superego” is so ingrained in women’s psyches, they’ll know they’ll have to live with themselves afterwards and feel like a “slut”. While I think girls on vacation ARE easier to game since they know there aren’t any direct social repercussions, a PUA still understands a women’s superego needs to rationalize ANY form of escalation.

That’s a shortcoming of MM.

In MM, Mystery advocates the “freeze out”. While it seems to make sense, I’ve never had a freeze out work for me. (If you guys have, tell me what you’re doing. Maybe I’m just not applying it correctly…) In fact, I find it counter-intuitive, because a freeze out throws a girl out of state and allows her rationalization to flood her system: i.e. “Oh my God! What am I doing?! I just met this guy!!”

After a few failed freeze out attempts, I came up with this theory and have been applying it with solid results (keep in mind though, it’s fairly new so I haven’t had a chance to tweak every angle). To return to one final FT’d example, let’s look at how this applies to getting a girl into the bedroom…

Last Wednesday, I called a girl for a D3 (during our D2 we fooled around but no sex). My phone game has been getting consistently better and I talked to this girl for about 20 minutes, pumped her state, made her laugh, etc. When it came time to make plans, I suggested she come to my place so I can cook her dinner (thanks David D.) and she happily agreed.

However, a few days later, she called me and said she still wanted to hang out, but thought maybe we should go out to dinner (she gave me some bullshit reason). I could’ve pressed the issue or tried to freeze her out…instead I agreed, but with this theory in the back of my mind…

So now I’m on this D3 and over dinner I’m pumping her state, telling her stories, joking around, busting on her. Half way though dinner she blurts out, “So can we go back to your place so you can play me a song on your guitar??”

What happened here? Well, aside from demonstrating all my former points about needing reasons to rationalize sexual escalation, this little FR sets up my final point: this shit only works if a girl’s in state and you have value. When I invited her to my place on the phone she agreed because I had enough value FOR sexual escalation, her state was pumped making her WANT sexual escalation, and I gave her a reason to RATIONALIZE sexual escalation. However, since we couldn’t have our D3 that moment, she had plenty of time in between our phone conversation and coming to my apartment to fall out of state and allow her superego to step in, convincing her that her reputation – even if it’s just in her own head – will be tarnished if she came over.

Although, once we were on our D3, I reaffirmed my value, pumped her state, and then SHE gave a reason to come back to my place.

If it’s helpful I can dissect every aspect of every approach and gives examples of this. I believe this a HUGE component of PUA and the reason great PUs – even when you’re getting IOIs and pumping a girl’s state – go bad.

Here’s a “road map” for sexual escalation applying this theory:

Get value (DHV with humor, storytelling, etc.) + Pump state (Laughing, playful flirting) + Cloak escalating with reasons (“testing”, “need to show you something”) = Sexual escalation

By repeating this cycle, you’ll plow through bitch shields, ASD, and any other bullshit women will throw at you to protect their “reputations” (oh, from an ethical perspective, you’re doing a woman a favor by employing this theory: you’re allowing her the same sexual freedom as a guy, which, if you go back to the first sentence of this article, is what women REALLY want anyway). Of course, we all know the hard parts of the cycle are getting value and pumping state, however not giving a “reason” for escalating risks throwing a girl out of state and/or lowering your value.

Just look at escalating as if you’re a kid at a carnival trying to win a prize: You play a bunch of stupid games and get a sausage-string of tickets (value) then you find a prize you’re excited about (pumping state) and finally you convince your mom why you need another huge stuffed animal (cloaking with reason).

Then, you start playing again for a bigger prize…

Christmas Came Early

Here’s about $500 worth of eBooks I found free. I’m sure you’ve heard of all these and now you can access them for free.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/102957/Swinggcat-Real-World-Seduction (Swinggcat's book...I'd say after MM, this is the best book on PUA...it talks a lot about controlling conversational frames...after reading this book you'll understand chick crack/how to come up with routines)

http://www.scribd.com/doc/299874/Magic-Bullets (A very nice supplement to MM...this will reinforce a lot of things in MM with some extras that are worth reading...it's a little long and repetitive)

http://www.scribd.com/doc/92312/-Double-Your-Dating (This book is a classic...I've read it like 3 or 4 times...really good stuff about humor and frame control (although he doesn't call it that) but I don't really think it completely fits the PUA lifestyle model…)

http://www.scribd.com/doc/4136/Juggler-How-To-Be-A-Pickup-Artist-2nd-ed (Juggler’s a character in The Game...good theories, lots of good inner game stuff. Some parts should be ignored as I think they're too direct)

http://www.scribd.com/doc/100973/Carlos-Xuma-The-Dating-Black-Book (Solid book on inner and outer game...longgggg but lots of good, interesting stuff…)

http://www.scribd.com/doc/95664/Art-of-Seduction (Ultimate book on PUA/seduction theory. You will not learn a single routine from this book but you will completely understand the philosophy, psychology, and art of every routine/gimmick/PU strategy ever created. Highly effective for non-parrot PUAs)

http://www.scribd.com/doc/95106/Badboy-Lifestyle-2007 (Good read but reinforces so much what the other books already established. I liked the parts on rapport and blowing out AMOG’s)

http://www.scribd.com/doc/419019/How-To-Use-Body-language (Reading this one now, interesting so far…)

Part II: The DHV of subtly: How to demonstrate value without looking like a douche

Let’s get to my second gripe with a lot of PUAs’ storytelling: Stories lack any subtly and are no better than blatant bragging/lying.

Someone mentioned “Easter Egg Theory” in the last post as a way to embed subtly in DHV stories. I’ve never heard that, but I like it. It’s a lesson any good fiction writer knows: Generate interest obliquely. Think about a book like “A Clockwork Orange”. The novel doesn’t begin explaining the social structure of this futuristic society and about how all the characters speak in this strange slang. Burgess just starts narrating in slang and sucks you into that world.

How does he accomplish that? With BUZZWORDS. By speaking in the idiolect of a subculture, you demonstrate you understand and inhabit that subculture.

A perfect example of this is PUA. Imagine if two people came up to you, claiming they were PUAs: The first guy said: “I get into a mixed 2-set with an opinion opener, stacked with DHV routine, did a take away, and isolated the target”.

The second guy goes: “I saw this super hot chick, used a pick up line to initiate a chat with her, started telling her about how I slammed her ex-boyfriend against a wall and threatened to kill him, then pulled her away from her friends and talked to her alone.” (Would the real PUA please stand up….)

Therefore, if you want to demonstrate the reality that you live in the world of hot models, you have to prove you’re on a first-name basis with that world. If you’re lying about having a model girlfriend, you better research some industry buzzwords. If you actually have/had model girlfriends, listen to them when they talk about shit. Instead of saying something like “My ex gf was living and working as a model in Japan”, say “My ex-girlfriend’s agency relocated her to Japan.”

Even better, I’ll give you guys an example of a DHV story I use. My last AFC girlfriend was a somewhat-famous TV actress in Poland. (Side note: While it’s cool to DHV about having had dated super hot chicks like actresses and models, my second to last AFC girlfriend was a Rhodes Scholar…to me, that’s also a DHV (dating smart people) and I don’t think guys should just try to come off sounding like their ‘pimps’ for dating sHBs…)

But I particularly find DHVing about my Polish ex useful because I can also talk about how I traveled through Europe. Here’s how I do it:(…after I’ve opened and DHV’d with 2 or 3 stacked stories that show I’m a fun/funny/articulate guy and I’ve hit the social hook point…)

The Judge: I really like this bar. The lighting/dance floor/black lights remind me of clubs in Europe.

HB on Trial: fjjfdsfksslfjklgkldj ge kl gkljgwerkljerlg gglek (whatever)

The Judge: Well, not so much Western or Central Europe. More like the bars in Eastern Europe. I’m especially thinking of bars in Poland.

HB on Trial: sdjsdjfds sdf gjjfklds kldjkjdldslkfsl

The Judge: Polish bars and clubs are so funny. You only have two extremes: Absolute dives or complete upscale raves. I remember this one bar I went with my ex-girlfriend to celebrate postproduction with her cast. It was insane… (stack to story about something that happened in Poland)

Also, I usually splice in traveler facts about Poland (i.e. the weird currency exchange, their funny/scary reception of Americans, how the equivalent of a lemonade stand for a Polish kid is a “Vodka-stand”, etc.) Usually by using words like “post-production” and “cast”, I don’t come right out and scream: “HEY MY EX-GIRLFRIEND IS A SMOKING-HOT ACTRESS SO YOU SHOULD THINK I’M A COOL GUY FOR DATING HOT CHICKS.” Instead, it usually baits HB to ask me, “What did your ex-girlfriend do?” Now, because she asked, it seems like SHE wanted to know.

Additionally, I don’t say “actress” like a big shot. Rather, I say something like, “OMG, she played this HIL-ARIOUS psycho on a soap opera. She was like this deranged artist who poisoned all these beefcake men. I told her not to get any ideas….but…sometimes…she stayed in character when we’d hang out so I had to hire a food taster to make sure I wasn’t getting poisoned by the crazy Polish artist!!!” Instead of coming off like I’m bragging, it seems like I’m this fun guy who’s more interested in the bars in Poland or how funny my ex-girlfriend’s part was than some guy who’s just telling her things to DHV. Get it?

Announcements for November 13, 2007

1.) Okay, I’m just about ready to close the community and work with who we have. Right now we’re small enough to make sure all our material is exclusive, but large enough to support and motivate one another
2.) I’m trying to figure out how to post MP3’s so I can record some of the routines I use and the tonality I think that’s needed to make them effective, but I’m having some trouble doing this on blogger. If anyone knows how to do this, let me know.
3.) The 3 guys I sarge with (Ga’ash, Prada, and Theory) are all administrators on here. They’re all at an advanced level so their advice will be effective (I can vouch it’s FT’d).
4.) Start using the “comments” section to respond to posts, relay your experience with the routines, etc. Eventually I’ll probably just make everyone admin’s so anyone can post at will, but for now just use the comments section.
5.) I’ll post my “bio” later today. Start thinking your bios and post them in comments section.

Frame control: Common story mistakes made by PUAs of all skill levels

This post was in response to a post on the VA boards where some loser posted an appalling transcript of "DHV" stories he claimed he was using in the field.

It’s time to write on one of the biggest problems/obstacles PUAs of all skill levels run into: Effective DHV story telling. There are two recurring fatal mistakes I see happening repeatedly: 1.) Stories are trying so hard to hit DHV points, they completely undermine and destroy your frame/congruency 2.) Stories lack any subtly and are no better than blatant bragging/lying.

Mistake # 1: Stories are trying so hard to hit DHV points, they completely undermine and destroy your frame/congruency

Before I go into the theory on this, I want to demonstrate my point by relating something that happened to me in-field. Okay, I sarge in Manhattan and usually go for high end chicks (8s and upward) usually at classy bars/clubs. So, as you can imagine, I’m constantly competing/gaming against AMOGs and, in particular, older, richer Wall Street AMOGs (lets call them Alpha Streeters). So one Thursday night, I’m out with my wing and we’re gaming a decent 3-set. As I’m stacking, I notice in the corner of my eye a cock-pack of 10 Alpha Streeters rolling into the club. While most of the Alphas wandered over to the bar, the two most Alpha guys planted themselves in front of our set. Not letting this phase me, I continued to stack but kept hearing snip-its of phrases like “…FINALLY all moved into my place on Fifth Avenue” or “…going back to the old alma mater for the Harvard Yale game”. They were running the equivalent of MM for guys on Wall Street: DHV about money as loud as you can. After about 5 minutes of this, a couple of the Alphas by the bar came over to our set and offered us all an expensive round of drinks. Of course, we had to accept, allowing the 10 Alphas to move in on our set and effectively blow us out.

The way I felt as I ejected was like a little kid who’s playing a Nintendo game and can’t beat a level while he watches a bunch of older kids do whatever they want because they’re using Game Genie.

I was pissed. Frustrated. Embarrassed. I still am. But thinking back on it, those guys may have blown me out, but they set a horrible frame. Let me explain. Say the Alpha Streeters never showed up and I had successfully n-closed, got a Day 2, and took the girl(s) to McDonalds. It wouldn’t really be a DLV because I was strictly selling the girls on my personality, gaming skills, and stories. I didn’t buy them drinks. I didn’t tell them I live on Fifth Avenue. Taking those girls to McDonalds would’ve been completely congruent with the frame I established.

However, imagine if one of the Alpha Streeters got a Day 2 and he took her to McDonalds. MAJOR DLV. The guy established the frame that he’s rich. His Day 2 HAS to be at a very expansive restaurant or else it’s NOT CONGRUENT. Winning girls with money is great if you’re ready to spend money all the time, but if you’re not than it’s no different than the smooth PUA who freezes up in the middle of the set. You’re blown out once you contradict the reality you initially put forth.

…okay, so how does that relate to Zarlock’s post and, subsequently, to the community at large?

Over and over and I see lines like this: “I broke down the bedroom door and grabbed him by the neck pinning him against the wall lifting him up. Must have been the adrenaline of the moment because I can not normally lift a big guy with one hand. I looked him in the eye and told him, if he ever did that again I would kill him.”

I know a lot of red-faced “PUAs” want to grab me by the neck, pin me against a wall, and tell me “Hey bro! I’m showing that I PROTECT MY LOVED ONES!”

No, you’re not, bro.

What you’re showing is you’re a typical tough guy. Which is fine if that’s the frame you want to set. But just like the Wall Streeter who sets his money frame, you’ve now set a “tough guy” frame. So, when an AMOG comes over and tries to steal your girl, you have no choice but to fight him. Think about it. If you’re the big “protector of loved ones” and you’ve “demonstrated” that with your story, you can’t try to out smart the AMOG or it’s not consistent. Your ONLY consistent choice is to get that adrenaline pumping and start fighting everyone who threatens your target.

Because I encounter so many typical AFC tough guys, I go OUT OF MY WAY to set the frame that I’m NOT a tough guy (so when I use my wit to outsmart them, it’s congruent and I’m not obligated to man-dance every loser AFC with crab hands…) Here’s what I was doing for a while (feel free to use at your discretion):

Part of my peacocking is I sometimes put a band aid on my neck. It sounds stupid but so many girls will open you with:

HB on Trial: OMG!! What happened?

The Judge: Bar fight.

HB on Trial: (Giggles)

The Judge: Yeah, you should’ve seen the other 5 guys. (NOTE: This must be delivered with James Bond-like demeanor. If you say it like a goofball it’ll come off sounding like a joke your corny uncle would make…)

The whole reason this is “funny” is because I’m a skinny 5”8, 145-pound dude who dresses like a dandy...

SP: Grabby dirty guy

I'll post my theory of social peacocking next but first I feel like sharing this routine because I've FT'd with almost a 100 percent success rate and it works for both day and night game. I've used this routine to pull a model (HB9.5) off the street and onto an instant date the SECOND TIME I tried it. The reason I think this routine is great for beginners, intermediate, and advanced PUAs is it FORCES you to accept correct body language. All you have to worry about is telling the story. Okay, enough talk, here's the routine:

If you spot an HB walking down the street or if she's behind you at a bar (squeeze in front of an HB by the bar when you're ordering a drink). The key is MAKE SURE your back is facing her.
Over the shoulder ask: "Do me a quick favor. Check to see if I have any dirt or filth on my back." I've never had a girl not respond to this and 4 out of 5 times, she'll start dusting your back with her hand (cheap kino).

As she's checking, she should say, "No" (assuming you're well-groomed and not a complete d-bag), which you respond, "You're SURE? There's no filth marks, dirt stains, no PAW MARKS." If you emphasize the "PAW MARKS" part, she'll probably go wide-eyed and say, "Wait...what? PAW MARKS?!?!?!"

Now you're locked-in to tell a story (social hook).

Here's what you say, "Okay, this is so random and embarrassing…I guess I can tell you quick then I gotta roll. Okay, so I was walking down (name some street in the vicinity) and stopped at the corner, waiting for the light to change. As I'm waiting there, I feel this...this PRESENCE...moving over my shoulder. At first it was gentle, like just a little feelski. But then, all of sudden, I felt this kung-fu-death-grip take hold of my shoulder. When I looked over, I watched in horror as this grizzled man-hand was gripping and messaging me. Oh man...it was so fucking gross...I can still picture the knarly fingers, like the nails had these half-moons of dirt and there were these NASTY filth-rings all over his fingers (great chance to grab her hand and start tracing where the "dirt" and "filth" were on this "guy's" hand). Just disgusting. Anyway, I turn to face this guy, this street groper. And GET THIS, no only is this dude a complete homeless molester but he looks like an OUT OF SHAPE A.C. SLATER! Like he's got this receding hairline but his mullet is still going strong, just being all curly and gross. And he's got this gut with the accompanying man-booby action! Oh man, I just feel so...so...contaminated! Aye! thanks for listening, I just needed to tell someone (say this in a funny way, like really melodramatic and you'll get a laugh and come off like a dandy). Well, it's just another bizarre occurrence in this bizarre week I'm having. Anyway, nice meeting you..." (Pretend to walk away)

Just about every time I've used that routine in Day Game, I've had the girl grab me and beg to hear about the "bizarre week" I'm having. If they don't, start walking away then stop and say, "Okay, you know what, you're a good listener. I like you, you're cool. High five. I guess we can talk a little more" (Do this in a playful, "big brother" way) then stack to you next routine (I usually go into another "funny" story about something that happened at a bar. Caveat: DON'T tell another story about some weirdo doing something to you or you'll seem like you're trying too hard or lying. Your next routine should be an "observation" you made.)