Sorry for this post being so long. If you don't want to read it all of this post the next two paragraphs are just basically my background and venting, so you can skip those if you want. Also, i posted this same post on the Judge's courtship and the puafieldguide forum so if you are on both then I will let you know that it is the same post. The point of the post is kind of in response to something judge put in his blog that we should publicly issue challenge to ourselves, so here goes.
Okay, so I am 25 year old AFC KJ. I found this community about six or seven months ago, and have read and watched pretty much every piece of seduction material available. I have tried to go out and make approaches I probably have made somewhere between 15 - 20 during my time here. Now it is not as if I am an introvert or anything, on the contrary I go out quite a bit with my other AFC friends, but I am usually the stereotypical drunk guy stumbling around the in the bar, my friends have actually nicknamed my drunk ricky. Going out has always been more about having fun (i.e. getting drunk) for me then it was to meet girls. If I happened to meet a girl or was approached by girls that was great, but I was never actively seeking them.
With that said I have made pretty much every AFC mistake in the book when it comes to females, and just recently I had got fixed up with a friend of a buddy's girlfriend. Even knowing everything that I read I still did everything wrong, went on two dates with her and developed one-itis. (Even sitting here writing this post that only complete strangers are reading I am getting embarrassed.) How do you develop one-itis on a girl that you went on two dates with is a question you guys are probably asking, and I don't know but I kept telling myself that this is the type of girl that I wanted to marry and putting all this pressure on my self. Needless to say after I started calling her everyday and sending her flowers, yeah I really sent flowers after a date, until she wanted pretty much nothing to do with me. I was a mess for like a week, and kept telling myself that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life.
Well that was my breaking point so to say. I decided at that point, which was a little over three weeks ago, that I needed to do this and I am going to do it this time. I have made this same ultimatum to myself twice before, and both times I did not do it. So I have decided that if I don't do it this time that I am just deleting all seduction related material off of my computer and "leaving" the community forever.
With that being said I have been studying for this huge exam that I am taking 1/29 for quite a while which is one of the reason I have not had much time to dedicate to sarging or at least the current excuse that I gave myself. So that is the deadline that I have set for myself. I am going to finish my test come home take a shower and then hit up a local mall and open at least three sets. I have a little mini stack that I have put together (thanks puafieldguide) and memorized, so I should be able to get my approaches to at least A2.
Now if by Wednesday I have not updated this thread that means that I was in fact a pussy and did not do it. If that happens I want you (Decibel and Judge) to delete me from your forum and blog, respectively. And then you will probably never hear from me again. I hope that this doesn't happen because I do enjoy reading all the posts and field reports, but if I am not going to apply any of this I should at least use the time I spend on here doing something productive like working more so I will at least have more money.
I appreciate all of you who took the time to read this post and if you have any advice or words of inspiration I would be great full. Thanks and you will hear from me again Wednesday.
Posey
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4 comments:
You can do it, Posey, I know you can!
I'd miss you if you left, but I'm sure you can pull it through.
By the way, if you haven't already, I'd suggest trying the Stylelife Challenge, which is the basis of Style's new Rules of The Game.
Posey I really respect your balls and putting yourself out there. That being said, I want to comment on some specifics in your post.
Re: Your AFCness
Dude, there's no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed. None of us come to this community because we're naturals. All of us have had an AFC episode at one point in our lives and all of us have done shit that's absurdly embarrassing. Personally, I know I thought I was going to marry my Polish gf and bought her flowers and tons of other shit that I now know was the reason she lost attraction for me. Don't be ashamed of getting one-itis. I wrote in my last FR I was feeling pangs of one-itis for HB10Frenchie and I was/am. The only thing that made me feel better was having amazing marathon sex with one of my MLTR then going out and sarging with Ga'ash and some other guys where I #-closing a very cute HB9. Still, I just called HB10Frenchie and left a VM and am sitting here sort of AFC-like waiting for the phone to ring...
Anyway, RE: Your mission
Dude, like Khaki said, I know you can do it. You have all the tools, you understand what you're doing, just get ready to use it. Posey, I love your comments and posts so I just can't bring myself to delete your account. Additionally, I don't think you should put undue pressure on yourself. Remember: This is fun! That attitude is so key. Some of my best sets are ones I opened while I was laughing before I even opened my mouth. Conversely, some of my worst sets are ones I MADE myself open and was stilted on the opener. We all develop at our own pace but I do this applying a little pressure and incentive to your goals helps light a fire under your ass.
Good luck! I know you'll get it done.
Peace,
~TJ
So last night I opened my three sets. It was not a huge success, but I will call it a minor success atleast I made an attempt, right?.
The first girl I opened I saw come out of a store and I kind of had to wait for her to catch up to me, which looking back probably seemed like a dlv and made it look like I was hitting on her, but I used and opinion opener on her.
Posey: Do all girls assume that when a guy they don't know talks to them he is hitting on them??
HB8: I don't know.
Posey: I have to go finish my shopping in a sec, but when I was walking past the food court earlier and girl a that had just walked out of the bathroom, walked right in front of me with toilet paper stuck to her shoe. So, I said excuse me miss. She turned around real fast and said in a real demanding tone I have a boyfriend, so kind of shocked I replied does he let you go out of the house looking like that? and then pointed to her shoe. Man was she embarrassed.
hb8: that is funny (but she didn't really laugh, so I don't think she thought it was funny, I think I need to work on telling the story)
After an awkward pause which I couldn't think of anything to say, I just asked her if she knew where banana republic was and then went on my way.
The next girl I opened was a HG working a jewelery kiosk in the middle of the mall with no customers.
Posey: Is it always this crowded here?
HBHG: Yeah, it has been pretty dead here for a while.
Then I used the same opener on her that I used on the first girl.
HBHG: That same thing happened to me last weekend when I was going out to eat with my boyfriend accept I noticed it before anyone said anything to me.
I then politely ejected.
But still she didn't laugh at the story. The person from stylelife who gave me the opener said they get a laugh pretty much every time they use the opener. I don't know what I am doing wrong, maybe I just seem nervous or put out an awkward vibe or something.
The next set was two girls leaning against a railing.
Posey: So what, do people not shop anymore??
Girl1: I guess not, there is no one here.
Posey: what are you guys just doing hanging out in the middle of the mall??
Girl2: Oh we are waiting on my mom to pick us up.
needless to say I ejected after that, but they didn't look that young. I figured like 18 or 19 when I was approaching but I guess i was wrong.
So there it is. That was the three approaches that I was basically shitting my pants over, but looking back it was not bad at all.
I need to get more canned openers, I feel kind of stupid using opinion openers, but I think if I get better bl and tonality then they will hook better. I also had a transition story that I was going to use after my opener to transition from my opener, but didn't ever end up using it because I don't feel real comfortable using it. Maybe I should practice in front of the mirror.
Well let me know if you guys have an suggestions or ideas for improvement. Thanks.
Posey -
First off CONGRATS! It seems like this is a huge breakthrough and you're starting to desensitize yourself to social pressure which is KEY KEY KEYYYYYY. So bravo for following through...
Secondly, about the stories not being funny: This is a problem I see a lot in the field when guys use canned stories. The problem is YOU don't find the story funny. Here's a secret I've uncovered and a key for my storytelling success: I find the stories I'm telling hilarious and I really don't care if a HB laughs or not. If you can convey a vibe that you're telling this story more for your enjoyment than trying to impress her, they'll laugh and it'll hook. I think you need to personalize the toilet paper story a little more. Try adding a descriptive detail of the girl. I find making an outrageous metaphor to some ridiculous pop culture icon will always get huge laughs. For example: "This girl was storming out of the bathroom...and she looked...sort of like...okay, can you picture what that fat guy from 'Superbad' would look like if he was a woman and wearing hot pants??" I find simply taking someone who everyone knows (and is sort of comical) and tweaking the description a little is money (for example, I usually describe my dad as "the white Carl Winslow [from Family Matters]", the fat girl who molested me as "a female version of Tony the Tiger", and the grabby homeless man as "a A.C. Slater look-a-like if A.C. totally let himself go, grew a huge beer belly and man-boobies and his '80s mullet started receding".
Anyway, the way you tell the story is extremely important, too. Notice when I wrote out how I'd say to 'Superbad' reference, I put in "..." Those are places I'd pause (almost as if I was thinking of the story on the spot). When you do that it not only gives the HB time to process what you're saying, but it also seems as if you're drawing this reference on the spot (evincing creativity and wittiness). However, this is a skill that you can't learn by reading...you'll only understand how to do this by practicing in front of a mirror then going out and trying it (building up your tolerance to social pressure).
Another thing you might want to try: When the HB responds to your story, ping her with a cold read. Even though I don't follow a text book structure, all my cold approaches usually follow this sequence:
Opener (usually an opinion or a quick joke)
FTC (BL is back rocking while I lock in eye contact)
Story ("Get this, I just have to tell someone who understands because my guy friends just don't understand...so get this..")
Cold Read (after HB answers, I'll say something like, "Oh man, you WOULD say that...I can tell you're fiesty/bad/good/the type of girl who'd pull other girls hair in a cat fight)
This structure will keep you from getting blown out and pump a fun vibe.
I'm working on writing out my canon of 20 stories then rehearsing them and will record and post them on the blog when I'm done so you guys can hear how I sound when I deliver the stories. As you'll see, some of the stories won't seem funny or interesting when you read them written out, but (judging from the reactions I get) are engaging by the way I tell it.
Again though, CONGRATS!
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