P.s. Theres a lot of Local community shit in here you might not understand but w/e:
Blah...I've tried to post this three times and had to retype the whole damn thing up again. Anyways...I thought it was important to share this with you guys. Fuck editing btw.
It's been almost exactly a year now. This time 365 days ago I was writing about the misdirection of my life. I remembered a book I seen once in a coles book store across the street one day, I searched it up and took it off a torrent site. I began to read and so began my journey into pickup:
Meet Ron Burgundy
I was 16. I was working for $10.50 an hour at a local wal-mart. I had absolutely no fashion sense and all i ever did was play video games, hang out with my obsessive girlfriend and Jooga and went to some punk rock shows. I was the AFC.
I wouldn't go so far as to say I was a chode. I had a girlfriend, I lost my virginity and I wasn't COMPLETLEY unsuccessful with women. I just had a natural talent to attract the ugly or weird ones.
Randi was my girlfriend, a short little redhead. I wouldn't realize it until later but I had run a perfect M3 model on her at a school dance one night, I met here, I attracted her, I built some comfort with her and then I danced with her. I was too shy to ask for her phone number in the end so I asked my friend Rachel for her MSN later that night. I talked to her, got her number and didnt text her for three days(it was part of my master plan to win her over.
Long story short, we started dating. I took her to mini golf at the mall and we ate ice cream(i paid of course, and spilt it all over myself). It was great at first. I thought she was sexy(she wasn't...maybe a 6). We dated for a long time. I developed some strong feelings for her..I even thought I loved her at one point. After four months I lost my virginity to her...I was happy but at the same time dissapointed.
Man...has society ever fucking put more pressure on me ever? Losing my virginity was cool...but it wasn't anything near what the world makes it out to be. It was by far one of the most dissapointing experience of my life(sex was cool though, even though I sucked).
Fast forward a few months and I'm miserable. The only reason I'm with her is because of the sex. She is one of the biggest emotional headcases I have EVER met in my life. I become very unhappy and one day sitting in my bedroom I remember a book glimmering in the coles across the street. I searched it on bittorent and downloading a digital copy of my bible...The Game.
Thus the journey started. I began to read more and more over time. I was obsessed with the story. I even read it when I was next to Randi. Finally I called it quits on the relationship...I was done with that bullshit. My eyes were opening to something amazing and she was casting shadows over them.
With that out of my way I was ready to kick full gear into self improvement. But I was stalled first:
In the end of January I got in the last fight with my step-dad. I don't even remember the exchange of words between us but I remember him charging up the stairs at me. He was 50 and I was 17 with a little grappling experience. I got him on the ground and was punching him screaming "I'm going to kill you mother fucker" until everything just stopped. I left home that night and didn't come back for a month.
I was counting on my father to take me in. He had hooked up with some ugly bitch he met at work that now controlled him and since she didn't want me in the house, neither did he.
Jooga saved my ass. I could always count on that guy. He convinced his parents to let me stay...but soon my welcome was wearing in on them. He told me we could live at his Mom's place every once in a while if we cleaned up the place. We did it(it was fucking disgusting though). This was once of the most important experiences in my life.
We lived in the dungeon looking basement of his house for nearly a month. We bought our own groceries(consisting of noodles, cereal and drink mix). Something happened to me here. Somehow being rejected by everything spurred me on harder than ever before. A fire roared inside my chest hot enough to weld steel and I applied it to everything. I got better grades, I worked crazy hours, I got my shit together and started studying for my computer certificate. But most importantly, I started studying pickup.
I read everything. I watched mystery and matadors movies. I even told Jooga about it a little(I was a bit embarrased about it at first). Then in February I made my first cold approach:
I was walking around the mall forever, I was in a bit of a trance I had barely madea concious decision to approach some girl but I ended up in chapters eyeing down a brunette sitting at starbucks with a magazine. It took me forever to approach but I'm still proud to this day that I did the first one alone.
RB: Hry
HB: Uh...hi
RB: I need to ask you a serious question...it's really serious.
HB: Uh...ok
RB: Do you floss before or after you brush your teeth?
HB: Is this a joke?
RB: Uh...yes...I just saw you over here and I had to come disturb oyu...*rambles on*
HB:....uh..
RB:Anyways...i gotta go...*walks away with tail between legs*
I seen her on the bus after too...it was kind of funny actually. Though I know my approach sucked I still felt awesome going home that day.
Shit just rolled off after that, I started practicing at school, even getting some result and breaking out of my now loner life. All I ever did before was hang out with Randi...now that she was out of my life I had little friends left. I was slowly gaining new friends though, thanks to game. In the meantime I joined a blog/forum operated by The Judge, a PUA from New York who I had grown great admiration for. He taught me quite a bit, it helped a LOT. I hope to be able to help someone like he helped me one day.
I got my first day two from a hotty at school. I made her go shopping with me, I even got a new sweater(that I thought was the shit...looked ugly as hell, it was progress though). It went nowhere but I was still getting somewhere...I was becoming obsessed. I introduced it to Jooga in a real way. We wathced some dvds by Mystery and Matador and went out with fire in our eyes. That night we opened four sets each and even closed one.
The next big step for me was my one shot at getting some cool friends back at school. My recently aquired friend Katey invited me to her birthday hall party. I prepped myself hardcore for it and listened to some Lovedrop tapes on the way there. I remember walking in: feeling invincible and talking to the first few people I see. I rocked shit that night...choding out the guys and attracting the women. Every set I ran I was the center, the anchor. It felt marvelous.
Finally I moved back in to my moms place for a little bit. But the drive didn't go away. Shortly after I moved in with my Dad to a new house on the west end. Now it was time for non-stop day game.
Every weekend I would go out to West Edmonton Mall with Joogathoe. We would hit sets and I would write a field report that night for The Judge's community. They helped in my breakdown and progress further in my art.
I did this for a long time, finally I discovered the Edmonton Community. We had a facebook group apparently. I had found some link from Link posting on the Venusian Arts forum(one of my regular places back then) and we made plans for the Orleans meeting.
SelfishGene set up a little seminar for Orleans from VinDicarlo to speak to what was the Edmonton community at that time. I remember meeting some of the oldschool guys here: Oz, Future, SelfishGene, Charisma, Damatick, Picasso. That was the beggining. After Orlens told us to "get our shit together" I went on freeforums and made us a site. Me and Picasso brought up what is now Puaedmonton.com
A mighty fine place indeed
So where did I go from there? It was summer time bitches!
Our first plan was to go to k-days EVERY SINGLE DAY and run game. Jooga joined us until he had to leave for k-days and Bounty stuck it in for the whole night. I remember going out with Picasso and Oz and Renny on his first set(still memorable):
After k-days however I barely ran any game at all. With Jooga gone my main wing was out. Not only that but I was watching his house and couldn't go out at all barely. Now this fluxuation in game was bit different thant other breaks of mine because I didn't exactly choose to take a break...but it happened anyways. I focused on a few things and these are the main things that happened:
My drive for picking up women turned into a drive for personal growth. I read Napolean Hills Think and Grow Rich. I studied for my A+ certificate. I worked hard and saved up money for a car. I bought some new clothes. I got my A+ certificate. I bought a car.
I also met Charisma. We went for day game one day at the mall and kicked some ass. I think we both impressed eachother and from then on we've become good friends(we actually work together now).
My personal growth eventually ended up improving my game in my familiar surroundings or "warm approaches." This is something I've noticed but haven't the time to develop a lot more though in but heres the drift of it:
Every time I take a short break from approaching random women I start to focus more on improving myself. My skill at cold approaches goes down but my social skills go up, all of a sudden women are more attracted to me in day to day life. I think this is because of something I have heard a lot of experienced PUA's talk about. It's my PUA Identity, which is a bad thing. That's all I have on it now...I hope to learn more about this later.
ANYWAYS...back to 2008.
My increase in social skills and confidence got me to bring a girl over to nicks house. I was having fun with her but it seemed like I couldn't get any of that sexual tension going. When I couldn't feel that tension I couldn't pull the trigger and I went home horny that night. I learned that I need to work on the trigger situation.
I also developed a oneitis. She was a cute girl from my school. She is and still is one of my favorite girls EVER. She's sociable, fun, outgoing and adventurous. Not only that but I ran PERFECT game on her when I was around. WE had boat loads of fun but I would be so close to breaking that tension with her when I would pussy out. I COULD NOT PULL THE TRIGGER.
This is one of my favorite pictures:
I payed the price and fell into the friend zone. I could feel that tension between us melt and she started to date some other chode from school. It hit me pretty hard every time I saw them together but one of my proudest accomplishments is letting it go.
After that I knew it was time to get back into approaching. Jooga got back portugal just in time for the Charisma Concept seminar...which was awesome. The calgary guys have a very charismatic aura. You could tell that they were tight with eachother, I saw it as inspiration to bring our group together. By the end I had never wanted to be on a big yellow school bus so bad. Thank god november wasn't too far away.
I got sick of day game, it still is pretty boring to me. I'll flirt it up with girls all the time when I'm at the mall shopping or something but I still feel a little sick to my stomach about going to the mall for day game. I couldn't handle stalking the mall for moving targets to stop...luckily 18 was just around the corner.
This is the chapter where my game explodes. My birthday was fucking AWESOME. Definitely a night to remember(figuratively speaking of course). That first night I didn't spit a lot of gmae but I definitely remember some chick in a red dress =)
I started focusing on getting out there three nights a week. This was fun as hell but I struggled for a while. Night game was a BIG change from mall game and I was put into culture shock. The first sticking point I got over was getting my energy level up. I can now comftorably pop that energy through the roof when I roll into a club. Ove I get on my set-roll I am unstoppable.
I soon realized though that I was failing in everything else, including school. I reset my priorities and focused on going out when I felt like having a good time, and it worked effortlessly.
I started to get to know the guys a lot better too. We are becoming friends not wings and that's makes for some fun nights out. I'm working with Charisma, training with 4real, shoppin with Link, Regalia and Future. We all partied it up at DJMex's house one day and had some wicked fun. I'm lovin' it.
Christmas break came around and I completely found a new style. I went from scene looking emo child with baggy clothes and hiking boots to this:
It's all because of you guys, there is no progress without a good community.
I'm not the only one improving like crazy...FutureFast is approaching all the time now, Tsar is motorboating the tits of intoxacted women and by god you hsould see Charisma pick up the girls at work. I've seen us grow in spiritual ways like 4real and Poodlez and it has inspired me to something beyond women.
Look where you were when you started out in this small niche of a community and tell me you haven't improved...I don't think you can.
The end my year comes to New Years. Which for me was a very mixed result. I was expecting New Years to be the peak of the mountain for me...the culmination of all my hard work to be shown to me on one night. Me and Jooga rented a room at the mayfield for the Portugese festival we attended and I made a fatal mistake:
I became result orientated. I became hardcore about pulling a girl instead of out to have fun. It was definitely fun but I still dissapointed myself. Live and let learn.
Thats where my journey of 2008 ends.
This is where it starts:
I'm not doing "New Years Resolutions" per say but I am going to set some goals for myself.
I need to do some critical things this year:
Find things I'm interested in.
When I got into pickup I dropped everything. I stopped recreational reading, I stopped playing video game, I stopped all that fun stuff. For some reason now I can't get back into them. Playing RPG's isn;t fun for me anymore.I have found interests though. I'm getting into MMA and Cars. Both inspired by Ryan(thanks bud).
Learn to get out of my head
I find myself in some vicious, negative circles sometimes. When I get stuck in my head brewing over negative thoughts it just gets me down. I talked earlier about being able to get my energy level up at clubs, now I need to apply that to EVERY DAY.
Get organized
I've always had a bit of trouble getting up on time and forgetting about important shit(family events, work shifts, school assignments). Being unorganized for me is like driving to a place where I have no idea where to get there...it's just damn frustrating. When I know my exact route though I'm on fire and I love that feeling. I'm going to do this by getting up on time daily and utilizing my planner a little more.
Find a path
I have one semester of high school left and I have no idea what to do with my life. I was so sure about things before 2008 but now I'm lost. I need to find out what I;m doing after June and come up with a plan.
That's All Folks
So That's my one year and a bit story. I had a fucking blast and I'm still amazed looking through the pictures and the post I've made in my journal. If your curious about the specifics about the events I referenced in this post check out the channel 4 news journal in the field reports section. I don't really update it anymore but it's a good archive of older posts.
I have come a LONG way, but I still have a LOT to work on...bring it.
Cheers Bitches...to the new year!
